Don't Mom Alone Podcast

As a licensed marriage and family therapist and life coach, Kim Fredrickson counseled and taught others about self-compassion for years. When she received an unexpected terminal diagnosis of pulmonary fibrosis, a rare side-effect of the treatment she had received for breast cancer, she wrote a book to leave for her children on giving that same compassion to the grandchildren she will never meet. On June 3rd, 2019, Kim passed on to be in the presence of her Savior. We are grateful for a way to honor her legacy by re-releasing her fantastic mentorship. (This episode originally aired in January 2018). When people feel ashamed, they blame other people because they feel like if I really look at my shame then I’m going to collapse inside. That’s why self-compassion is desperately important because kids feel shame a lot. They fail at everything at the start. What we chat about: Kim’s story of receiving a devastating diagnosis after completing treatment for breast cancer How she’s chosen to spend the years she has left with her family The new book she wrote for when her children have kids called “Give Your Kids a Break: Parenting with Compassion for You and Your Children” How it’s a process to develop a compassionate inner voice Applying grace and truth to every situation in our lives Variety of temperaments--some that are harder on themselves than others. The difference between self-compassion and self-pity Encouraging your children to practice self-compassion and reinforcing it by showing ourselves that same Giving our kids the language to identify their failings and separate them from their self- worth Moms have a really hard job. It’s ok to acknowledge that. The importance of taking care of ourselves as moms How to talk to your kids after you’ve been hard on yourself and reframing it with self compassion

Oh friendship! A gift that can bring incredible joy and cause great pain. If female relationships weren't tricky enough, our wounded selves bump into each other causing even deeper hurts. But what are we to do? How do we heal, move forward and develop lasting friendships? Thankfully, my friend, Lisa-Jo Baker came on the show back in April of 2017 to help. With content from her book, "Never Unfriended", on episode 159 we talked about friendship wounds. And Lisa-Jo pointed us to Jesus, the only One who promises to heal and never leave us. Jesus is never tired of me always needing Him. Instead, He is delighted by how desperately I need His validation and He never, ever withholds it from me. Or from you. - excerpt from "Never Unfriended" by Lisa-Jo What do we fear most in friendship How to include the new girl and ignore the "cool kid" lies How to heal past friendship wounds. Turning to Jesus for meat and potatoes soul filling. Not blaming social media for our heart issues. How do you survive a friendship break-up. The hope of reconciliation and knowing when to let go.

The first guest in our mentorship series is Nancy Williams**. She is known by her 9 grandchildren & 4 great-grandchildren to label each family gathering as "the best ever". Her phrase perfectly summarizes this podcast. The show first aired in February of 2014 (Episode 11) and was titled "Best Ever Life". Based on the title, you may be surprised to discover Nancy's motherhood journey includes many trials and heartache. But she views each challenge as an "opportunity" (her word) to see the power of God at work. This interview is bursting with Truth and wisdom. Here's a brief summary of the topics we cover: How to keep your thoughts and perspective in check when your husband works long hours. Where to turn with your parenting questions. How to respond when the consequences of sin enter your children's lives How to share a simple family tradition of gratitude and love (fabulous idea!) How to deal with mom guilt (a.k.a., the part of the podcast where I get emotional) How to help your children turn to God when you can't meet all their needs. SUCH good stuff. I was most encouraged to hear this message from Nancy: This can be the "best life ever", no matter the circumstances, if it includes eternal salvation for our children and unconditional love in our homes.

Kat Armstrong, the guest from one of my most popular episodes is back on the podcast to share the message of her new book, No More Holding Back. The first question we talk about is, “Can a woman learn too much about Jesus?” A light topic, right? “The greatest commandment says we have to love God with our heart, soul, mind and strength — all of it. And it's the priority. It's the priority over anyone's role in our home. We have to be all-in for Jesus. We can't let our fears, our insecurities, our roles, our titles, or anything to do with our spouses impede our progress to learn about Jesus.” Kat shares powerfully about our role as an image bearer of God, the importance of elevating women’s voices in our communities of faith and living completely into the assignments God gives us. We also talk about giving what we have to offer even if feels imperfect or broken in the same way that the widow in Mark 12 gave out of her need. “If you have a broken heart, it counts. I have a broken heart right now about my dad. I still want to love God with it all and I don't have to have it all together or healed yet to apply it to the Great Commission. And if you have a weary soul and you're questioning your faith, you can give that to God and he counts it as worthy. If you have a confused mind. If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, decision making, and things don't make sense in your world, you can give that to God.”

After my recent trip to Oaxaca, Mexico, I’m so excited to introduce you to Tess Clarke. We process some of what we learned on the trip to visit refugees from Central and South America and hear about the work Tess and her husband are doing with their non-profit, Seek the Peace. Tess feels called to a ministry of presence in the same way that Jesus enters into our lives. It doesn’t mean that the circumstances are changed, but He takes away our aloneness, our guilt, our shame and our fear by being present with us in those hard circumstances. “The numbers are staggering and everyone knows that this is an overwhelming issue, which is why I think we can't become jaded and paralyzed, but we have to keep looking at it from a human point of view. When we were in Oaxaca, a lot of it was really about learning why people were fleeing and what their lives looked like and what they were hoping for when they came to the United States. Every person I had an opportunity to talk to said, I want to be safe.” No matter where you may fall politically on the issues of immigration and the current refugee crisis, I think Tess’ perspective on entering into the broken places and loving the marginalized and lonely around us can bring us together as believers. It has made a big difference in my own parenting when I invite my kids into loving others. “Something my kids and I talk a lot about is the line in the Lord's prayer, ‘Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.’ And we asked Jesus, show us where heaven is not. Show us where heaven is lacking. Lead us there because we want to join you in that space and we want to do what we can to bring heaven there.” Tess, her family, their non-profit Seek the Peace and her role at We Welcome Refugees The work Tess and her organization have done at the border. Seeking to understand the plight of refugees and the work and role of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) Family separation of refugees at the border and the humanitarian crises happening in Central and South America that are causing an increase in the number of refugees Stories from refugee centers at the border of South Texas Tess feels called to a ministry of presence in the same way that Jesus enters into our lives. The trip Heather and Tess made to Oaxaca, Mexico to visit refugees there A poem by Warsan Shire about why people leave their homes as refugees The legal ways to enter America are being shut down by the current administration Our experience visiting the unaccompanied minors shelter Femicide, being killed because you are a woman, is a big cause of death in Mexico Partnering with Jesus to love the marginalized and bring Heaven to Earth The call of God to love the oppressed and care for the broken in Isaiah 58

Just in time for Father’s Day we have a great conversation with Joel Fitzpatrick, a pastor and author, who encourages dads (and moms) to have gospel-focused conversations with their sons. “There’s power in having conversations with your kids that opens up your relationship. It’s a freedom that gives your kids a safe place to talk to someone. But then it also gives you the ability to speak God's truth into their lives.” We talk about the barriers that keep us from going deep with our kids and how to fight back against the fear and complacency that can become commonplace. Joel also shares how Jesus is the ultimate picture of biblical masculinity and how to be an emotionally safe parent for your son or daughter. “We need to be very careful with our emotions when our kids come and they confess their sins to us. When your son comes to you and he's been angry, you need to be careful not to respond in anger, but to respond with love and with kindness and with using your strength to provide a place of safety.” This is an episode that would be perfect to share with your spouse and the dads in your life. Joel shares a lot of truth for both moms and dads about how we can stay actively engaged with our kids and keep the gospel message at the forefront. For more on this topic, Joel has a new book out called Between Us Guys. Also, my recent podcast with Vicki Courtney [Ep 239] has some more great information on having deep conversations. As Joel shares, it comes down to setting aside intentional time to go deep with our kids. What step can you make this summer to have a gospel-centered conversation with your son or daughter? What we chat about: Joel’s background as a construction worker and as a minister What are gospel conversations and how do we have them with our kids How to fight against fear and complacency to continually engage with our kids Biblical masculinity vs worldly masculinity Working with a son who is displaying aggression and violence Keeping our emotions in check when we’re having tough discipline conversations Look at your kids’ lives as a timeline and not a snapshot Learning to process emotions in a healthy way with our kids Being aware of your sons’ emotions and actively engaged with how he is processing them Teaching sons how to think about and interact with women in light of the gospel

As moms, we are like a life support system for our kids. To keep our families healthy, we need to be healthy. A key part of our overall well being is setting healthy boundaries. But boundaries are hard. They require uncomfortable, direct conversations. We may need to put a limit on really good things or draw a line in the sand with our in-laws or parents. My guest, Dr. John Townsend literally wrote the book on boundaries and he shares some deep wisdom on how to set healthy boundaries while honoring our family members and others. You've got to take care of your energy, your heart and your emotions. You've got to take care of yourself and your health. If you don't guard that heart, then the wellsprings of life won't come out from it. Boundaries are basically about how to set healthy, loving limits in our life. So we have something to offer to our children. Townsend answers your tough questions about set limits with in-laws, making healthy boundaries for the holidays and even models having a tough conversation with a parent about a boundary. This is an episode packed with great information and Townsend has several books and resources available if you want to go deeper. Let’s make setting healthy boundaries a priority and guard our hearts and our time to bring life to our family! What we chat about: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23 Setting boundaries is guarding our wellspring of life so we can love our kids His book, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life Is setting boundaries biblical? YES! The difference between hurting and harming someone when it comes to setting boundaries Honoring vs obeying your parents as an adult What it looks like to have a boundary setting conversation Conveying love in hard conversations and not getting hijacked with emotions or blame Giving three chances when you set new boundaries and how to have consequences when they aren’t respected Turning to spiritual family when biological family isn’t what your kids need Keeping the lines of communication open with grandparents and communicating boundaries in love Looking for mild, moderate and severe reactions to suggestions and boundary setting Suggestions for setting healthy boundaries for the holidays The idea of people fuel and relational nutrients that help us fuel up

Whether your kids are school age or not, summer typically brings a big shift to our family routine and to our mindset. Joining me today to talk through strategies to thrive this summer are Laura Hernandez and Courtney Cleveland. We talk about systems, tips and plans for making the most of the time you have with your kids this summer. Laura even shares an acronym for how to plan with the word ENJOY. That’s right! We can absolutely enjoy the summer and these ladies have some great ideas to get you started. “It doesn't need to be a family bucket list and it doesn't need to be a hundred goals. It's just a simple focused looking at your summer and saying, what do I want it to feel like? What do I want it to look like for our family? And you will reap the benefits of it.” If you’re like me and want to figure out a way to involve your kids in household jobs without the whining and complaining or make a plan for using screen time effectively, we cover it all in this chat. We also talk about summer road tips and ways to stop entitlement behavior when it rears its ugly head. There is so much life in slowing down and spending time with our kids in the summer. Whether you are on summer number 2 or summer number 14 (like me) with your oldest, I pray that you embrace the time you have and ENJOY your summer!

Jada Edwards is a Bible teacher and truth speaker. She brings the word with fire and conviction. Her words encourage and gently convict as she points others to God. But, her story hasn’t always been pretty and her platform hasn’t always been large. She’s wrestled with shame and doubt and feeling unqualified. “I try be like David when he says, ‘I keep my sin before me.’ Not because of shame, but because of that reminder that every time God uses me, every time someone is encouraged by something that comes out of my mouth, I think, God is good. He can use anybody. There's a fine line between feeling disqualified and just feeling grateful and humble. So I try not to let that send me into a place of immobility.” I’m personally grateful that Jada is following after God’s call on her life. She has so much passion for teaching and preaching the word. She has a new Bible study series out with Zondervan on women in the Bible called Known by Name that focuses on the same three questions we all still ask today: How does everyone else see me? How do I see myself? How does God see me? Good stuff! We talk about her journey to motherhood and how inviting others to be influences in our kids’ lives can bring a freedom for the places we are weakest. She has some great suggestions for how to not mom alone and why we don’t have to strive to be a mother that we’re not. “I think I day-by-day I find my footing a little bit saying, ‘Okay, these are the kids God has given me to shape and I know there's going to be deficits. I know there's going to be gaps, but I'm going to trust the Lord for the gaps and I'm going to do what I can with who I am. I'm not going to try to be anybody else. I'm going to be a failure at trying to be like my mother, it's going to go badly. I can be the best mom that I can be. And then where I'm lacking, I can be honest about that.’”

Every nine seconds a woman is assaulted in America. It’s the kind of staggering statistic that shocks you into silence. It can make you feel powerless to help. When Jan Langbein first heard that statistic, it rocked her. She found an avenue to get involved with violence intervention and was eventually hired to run Genesis Women’s Shelter & Support in Dallas. Now, she’s worked to end violence against women and children for more than 20 years. God’s plan for her was bigger than she ever dreamed. On the podcast, she shares from the wealth of what she’s learned about: How to identify abuse in your own life and in others’ How to respond to a friend in an abusive relationship What we can all do to work toward ending and preventing violence, especially in faith communities “It's very hard being friends and family of someone who's being abused, because it's as if they are overcome by smoke. We see the house burning down, but they're tripping around in a house filled with smoke. So you say things like, you know what, when you are ready to talk about this, know that I'm going to be here for you. When you do feel like you ready for some resources, I'll have them for you.” Warning: There are some very hard things to hear in this episode and some potentially triggering things if you’ve been in an abusive relationship of any kind. I’m so thankful for Jan’s guidance and clarity on these hard topics. As believers, we’re called to press in to these uncomfortable places and be God’s hands and feet for women and children who are suffering. I pray you will listen with that in mind. “I think God hates divorce. I know he hates abuse even worse. I think this makes God cry that women are not allowed to live the fullest life. We can serve others, but that doesn't mean at the risk of our own bodies and souls and our children's lives.” What we chat about: How Jan got involved with violence intervention and eventual hired to run Genesis Women's Shelter & Support Every nine seconds, a woman is assaulted in this country and 1 in 3 women have experienced abuse The ways abuse affects the children in a marriage/relationship How to respond to a friend who may be in an abusive relationship The services offered at a shelter like Genesis can provide for multiple needs from housing to legal help to counseling Faith communities and other men can be a part of the solution calling out abuse and not sweeping it under the rug Fear is an indication of abuse and verbal and emotional abuse precedes physical abuse Helping a friend go through the stages of change in coming out of abuse Abusers have the power and control in the relationship and the person being abused has the responsibility to serve their abuser What to watch for in our kids for signs of abuse

Jeni B is a single mom raising and homeschooling her four children. It was not the life she expected when she married as a young grad student and not the life she worked hard to create as she struggled for 10 years in an abusive marriage. She shares her story of coming to a very painful place of seeking a divorce and fleeing with her children. We talk about the loss of community and friendships that followed and the guilt and shame that threatened to hold her captive. “There can be so much shame and there's so much responsibility on the shoulders of the woman that it can feel like her job is to respect and to uphold and to encourage and that love covers a multitude of sins. And I'm sure that that works totally fine in a partnership where you've got two people under the headship of Jesus Christ who are wanting to please and obey him and serve each other. But when only one person is doing that, it just opens the gates wide for rampant abuse in a relationship.” But her story did end there. Three years later, she is walking with God in a deeper way than she thought possible and finding freedom through healing. In her hardest places, God has been faithful and she shares what she’s learned about his character along the way. “He didn't love my marriage more than he loved me. He loves me. So a huge part of my own growth and my own awakening is knowing God. It's a day-to-day walk and I feel the Lord shining on me. It is this beautiful experience of having been reduced to pretty much nothing and having all of my dreams destroyed to a place where God is building a city on top of that very same spot and he's using other people in the process of rebuilding.” I’m thankful for Jeni’s openness in sharing her journey with God and how he is restoring and rebuilding her life. If you or a friend are going through anything similar, check out the online support group Jeni is in for more resources or visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline website www.thehotline.org.

I’m so excited to share my dear friend Erin Morgan with you in this episode! We go way back in friendship and in motherhood. She is the introvert to my extrovert and in this chat we’re diving into how to thrive as an introvert mom. When she and I had younger kids, the constant togetherness of parenting was very draining for her. “I was just completely overwhelmed, which causes me to withdraw and isolate big time. I just had no energy for other people. I wanted to pursue my friends and my relationships with other people, but there was just no margin for that in my mind.” We talk about how she learned more about herself as she learned about the gift that introversion can be. As she asked God where she should invest her life, he encouraged her that focusing on motherhood and a few deep friendships was his best for her. “I had to get with the Lord and be reminded that what I'm doing in this season of life with my children and my family is a true ministry and is where God has me. And I really felt like he was impressing on me this kind of motto for my life, which is that a small and faithful life is pleasing to the Lord.” I’m so thankful for Erin and her introvert “super powers” of listening and passionate, faithful prayers. She is a thoughtful friend who has a lot of wisdom and encouragement for other introvert moms out there. Extroverts can learn a lot about their introvert friends by hearing what she shares too!

When Ericka Young and her husband made the choice to get out of debt, they had two small kids and $90,000 to pay off. In the midst of the expensive, hard season of raising their daughters they worked hard for five years to get debt-free and now Ericka teaches the budgeting principles they used to help others find freedom. She believes that while many of us see a budgeting as restriction it can actually bring a lot of freedom. “You can be creative if you want, you can call it a spending plan, you can call it a cash flow plan, whatever want to call it is totally fine. But when I say the word budget, everybody has a response, good or bad. And many times it's bad. It is the straight jacket. It's restriction, it's lack of freedom, that kind of thing. But here's the deal. It's what you make of it. Your budget is your own, make it your own.” We chat about teaching our kids about money and tithing and how we are ultimately stewards of the resources God has given us. “I love numbers. And so how I get out of my head is to realize that God is my provider. I am not the fixer of all financial issues. God is the provider. He also leads the way. And so when things come up and I have to shift or do a detour or what have you, I still know that he's in control. And so the budget is the guide. It's the plan. But when life happens, I also know that God's got this.” What we chat about: Her and her husband’s history with debt and money Finances while you are raising young kids Parental peer pressure can cause us to spend money we don’t need to Why having a budget and money goals can help you get a handle on your finances Having shared financial goals with your husband Track your spending for the past three months and see if it aligns with your priorities Plan for out-to-eat meals in your budget and use wisdom on when to eat out Teaching your children about the costs of items and how to spend within limits Being committed to tithing and how to discuss it with our kids Responsibilities, allowances and working with kids on money Why we need cushion in your budget for emergencies. It helps takes stress off an already stressful situation. Your budget can bring freedom from the stress of not knowing where your money is

Depending on your personal background with puberty, sex and the often avoided topic of masturbation, having open conversations with your kids on these topics may feel daunting. You may want to avoid it or get “the talk” over and done with as quickly as possible. Or maybe your kids are really young and you don’t want to think about it right now. My guests Mary Flo Ridley and Megan Michelson walk us through why starting early talking with our kids about body awareness and establishing our family story about sex is so important. “What we're trying to get rid of is this idea that this is a one-time conversation in parenting. The world that we are raising our kids in has changed so drastically that the way we as parents talk about sex has to change drastically as well. We can have multiple age appropriate conversations and a little-by-little approach where we establish a conversation pattern where we are the loving authority in our child's life on this topic.” They have great book recommendations and advice on talking with your pediatrician so you know when puberty is imminent for each child. We cover ways to pursue conversations with your kids and how to talk to them calmly without overreacting. Finally, we dive into the deeper waters of talking to your older children about masturbation, dealing with our emotional baggage when it comes to sex and how to strike the difficult balance of teaching what is normal and beneficial. “We're hearing from a lot of youth ministers and pastors that work with college kids that this is an epidemic of a great addiction. So there needs to be more of a warning of how this is normal, but not beneficial. That why it's such a difficult topic. You can say, yes, honey, this is absolutely normal. You're learning about your body and how it works, but it can become a habit of comfort. And if this is where you go when you're upset or when you're angry, if this is how you comfort yourself, then this is not beneficial to you in your future.”

To celebrate our 20-year wedding anniversary, Bruce and I are answering your questions! We have a fun time reminiscing on our wedding, the early years of parenting and all the twists and turns our lives have taken since we joined them together. We talk about parenting styles, balancing our roles and how I learned not to micromanage him when it came to caring for our boys. As much as we enjoy looking back at our years before kids when we traveled a bunch, the fun concerts we went to, and friends we made, we wouldn’t change what we have now. Bruce makes a great point that if we stay focused on the past, we’ll miss the great things happening now. Stick around to the end of the episode to find out which one of us said, “I love you” first and my personal philosophy on procrastination. We share our ideas for a perfect weekend (they aren’t the same) and how Bruce plans a typical date night.

Though millions tuned in to TLC’s hit show Little People, Big World to watch their wedding, the entirety of Jeremy and Audrey Roloff’s love story is significantly less known. Audrey joins me to talk about her marriage, motherhood, and how she and her husband are on a mission to help married couples thrive. The Roloffs have founded a ministry called Beating 50 Percent which is focused on reviving covenant marriages. They share resources and ideas for couples to inspire them to make their marriages more than average. “One thing that has been our lifeline since before becoming parents is our marriage journal. It's essentially our communication tool in our marriage. When life is crazy, we know that every Sunday night we're going to have our time to do our marriage journal. We call it our navigator’s council time. But it's basically just a time for Jeremy and I to connect and communicate about things that have come up in the week that maybe there wasn't never that good time to talk about it.” We chat about how she’s balancing marriage and motherhood since the birth of her daughter, why it’s important to share interests and activities with your spouse and how to balance strong personalities in marriage. “It’s important to take humble perspective and ask God, what do our roles in this marriage look like and is this something that you are pleased with and how can we be a better reflection of the gospel through our marriage? I feel like God has really been impressing on my heart since the beginning of the year to let Jeremy be my forerunner and to view that as a helpful, beautiful thing that helps me and allows me to run the race better.” What we chat about: Audrey’s background and how she met her husband Jeremy Roloff Jeremy and his family are featured in the reality TV show, Little People, Big World What it was like for her to have her wedding televised for the show Her life verse from Ephesians 3:20 and mantra “Always More” Beating 50 Percent the marriage ministry she and her husband have Their focus is inspiring couples to invest more than 50% effort into their marriage How she’s balancing marriage and motherhood since the birth of her infant daughter Their Sunday marriage journaling time and how they’ve turned it into a book, The Marriage Journal The principle of sharing interests and activities with your spouse and how that can knit you closer together Submitting in marriage when you have a strong personality or leadership gifting What Audrey loves about being a mom

Whether you’ve been married for a short time or you’re nearing a milestone anniversary, a healthy marriage takes a lot of work. A marriage is made up of thousands of small moments and habits that over time result in God-honoring, joyful marriage or a self-centered, strained marriage.Speaker and author Paul David Tripp joins me to lay the groundwork for how to cultivate healthy habits in our marriage and identify the ones that need to be uprooted. He shares what he’s learned in almost 50 years of marriage and how to look at our marriages in light of the gospel.What's a biblical view of marriage? Well, it's a sinner married to a sinner in a fallen world. Are you encouraged yet? But with a faithful God. Now that means we can't just coast in our marriage because there are things inside of me and things inside of my wife that are potentially destructive to marriage because we're not perfect people yet. And we live in a fallen world that is a threat to our marriage.Paul also calls us to take a new view of our spouse’s differences and see how God created us for unity, not uniformity.There is no call anywhere in the Bible to uniformity. The call is for unity. Unity is only ever needed in the face of difference... We have to stop making those differences a matter of right and wrong, If it's not named as sin by God, then it's just a difference and God actually glories in those differences because those differences point to his grandeur as a creator. I hope you are encouraged and equipped from this conversation to re-engage with your spouse with fresh faith for experiencing all that God has for you in your marriage.What we chat about: Marriages are made up of thousands and thousands of little moments The kind of relationship we have built in those moments determines how we handle the big moments We naturally structure our marriages around habits How to identify good and bad habits in your marriage Sin makes us self-focused and anti-social, but marriage is a covenant of community Helping our spouse access what God wants for them instead of arguing or nagging them We will always be working on our marriages. There is no place for coasting Confession and forgiveness can change the direction in disagreements Jesus did not just bare our guilt. He bore our shame God made us for unity, not for uniformity A look at why we are so vastly different from our spouse Even when we are formed into the image of Jesus, we will still be different from our spouse Tips for showing gratitude in your marriage and fostering joy The fruits of the Spirit are key for a good marriage If you are struggling in marriage, engage with community and your church family. Isolation is the enemy of a healthy marriage Links Mentioned: Gospel Parenting Paul David Tripp [Ep 176] Opportunity vs. Disruption Paul David Tripp [Ep 212] My Favorite Paul David Tripp Devotional: New Morning Mercies (Great gift for a spouse) I Do Again-- Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs *Amazon Affiliate Link--at no additional cost to you, a small portion of your purchase will support this podcast

Candace Cameron Bure is an actress, producer, New York Times bestselling author, beloved by millions worldwide from her role as D.J. Tanner on the iconic family sitcoms Full House and Fuller House and of course Hallmark Channel movies. (Christmas is coming and she has a new one coming out Nov. 25) But, she’s also a mom of three children ages 16 to 20 and an outspoken Christian in the entertainment industry. She shares what it was like to grow up working in entertainment and the values her parents passed on to her. And about how she walks out her faith now as a busy working actress, a career she returned to after choosing to be a stay-at-home mom for 10 years. We talk about her new children’s book “Candace Center Stage” and how it focuses on the values of hard work and courage, especially for our strong-willed children. As she takes us into her world, she talks through how she stays calm and kind under pressure and lives for Jesus as she juggles the roles and the callings God has put on her life.

For day two of Don’t Mom Alone Live, Jim and Lynne Jackson are back to talk all about relationships and answer listener questions. If you’ve ever felt like a bad parent because of your child’s disobedience or struggle to referee the sibling arguments and fights in your home, this episode is for you! The Jackson’s share their Peace process and how to be confident before God in how you are parenting. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. So we need to have confidence in our ability to be peaceful and not let this child’s behavior define me or tell me that I’m a bad parent. And have the long-term view that God can do anything in a child’s life as I persevere in encouraging and teaching and training. They share great practicals for blended families and for how to navigate parenting when you and your spouse or co-parent aren’t on the same page. We also dive into teaching your children empathy and social cues as a way to foster great friendships. In the end, our goal can be to equip our kids to be conduits of God’s grace to the world both through their relationships with others, but it starts with their relationship with us. When I thought about that the kind of relationships in life that Jesus bought for our kids on the cross, not just with each other but whatever relationships they’d have. I just had this image of “trickle down grace” starting from the cross and just trickling down through us to our kids and then out to the world and our kids. We can grow to become profound dispensers of grace in life to others. What we chat about: Getting feedback about our kids that makes you feel like a “bad parent” Keeping the long-view when you are training your children There is a dramatic increase in anxiety and depression in children, teens and young adults. It is five to eight times greater than it was 50 years ago. What to do when you and your spouse aren’t on the same page with parenting Ask penetrating questions when your spouse is struggling to parent in kindness. “What are you hoping our kids will learn right now?” Blended family dynamics and how to co-parent well You are building trust with your kids and when you are confident before God in how you are parenting, you can be at peace with how someone else is parenting Ask kids: What do you want to tell me about how you’re feeling and how your time went? Sibling rivalry and how conflict is an opportunity to teach our children how to reconcile The Peace Process the Jackson’s teach: Calm > Understand > Solve > Celebrate Celebrating that your kids reconciled is an important step to future success When your kids feel encouraged and successful when working through conflict, you can see the momentum begin to change Learning empathy as a family and equipping your kids to be more successful in friendship Quick connects with individually with your kids can be more effective than playing with them for longer periods. Find ways to show that you delight in who they are! Use mission trips and giving back to the community as your vacation/connection time as a family Links Mentioned: Previous Episodes with Jim & Lynne — Ep 80 , Ep 81, Ep 98, Ep 200, Bonus Sibling Conflict SocialThinking.com “You are a Social Detective” book ** How to Develop Empathy in Kids (Part 1) How to Develop Empathy in Kids (Part 2)

For the first part of our 2018 Don’t Mom Alone live event, Jim and Lynne Jackson, co-founders of Connected Families, joined me & my husband Bruce to answer listener questions about discipline and how to use their framework for biblically-based parenting. We share lots of stories of how we have failed as parents and learned along the way. But then I started to realize maybe my humility was my greatest currency for influence to help her learn the lessons and the values and the things that mattered most… Our kids need to know we’re not perfect. They need to know that we’ll come back to them and say, ‘Hey I blew it. I’m sorry. Would you forgive me?’ And get back to reconciliation in those relationships. — Jim Jackson. So good! Jim and Lynne talk us through the parenting framework they’ve developed and redefining how we view discipline with our kids. Ultimately, it comes down to connecting with their hearts and leading them to Jesus instead of trying to control their behavior. We can help kids embrace the wisdom of the righteous. And that really prepares the way for the Lord to come in our family in a strong way. Because in today’s day and age with all the craziness that’s going on, these kids need a form of discipline that’s not just about punitive correction but that’s about a whole way of life that teaches our kids how to be followers of Jesus. — Lynne Jackson And it’s not just vision for how we want to parent, the Jacksons also share some super practical tips and give us some ways to respond to our defiant, strong-willed or sensitive kids. What we chat about: The basis for Jim and Lynn’s parenting framework How do you parent proactively instead of reactively when you feel like you’re just surviving minute What is our goal in parenting? Is it immediate obedience from our children or fostering their ability to make wise choices? Bringing God’s grace into our messy moments Why connecting with God is so essential to how we parent Go into a situation asking, “Lord, what is the opportunity here?” Helping our kids build wisdom instead of feeling the need to express our disappointment when they mess up Trusting that our kids really want to do better Separating behavior from identity in our kids Humility and apologizing well may be our greatest currency as a parent The idea of a parent do-over Tips for parents of younger kids and encouragement for parenting kids who bite or hit We tend to think of behavior as either all good or all bad When our goal is to control their behavior, it doesn’t build trust You don’t have to be mean to be strong as a parent Big, loud, and loving energy can make a big difference in the middle of conflict Luke 1:17- “And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.” Strong-willed kids and the importance of calling out their giftings and how God made them Sometimes it’s sensitive and intense children are labeled as strong-willed Psalm 73:21-24 “When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory.” Links Mentioned: Previous Episodes with Jim & Lynne — Ep 80 , Ep 81, Ep 98, Ep 200, Bonus Sibling Conflict Connected Families Blog Post — It’s Not Defiance, It’s Science Connected Families Blog post- Danger, Obedience, and Teaching Kids Traffic Safety

Tricia Goyer is an author, speaker and homeschooling mom of ten. She also knows what it’s like to parent children with chronic anger. If you’ve ever felt alone in how to calm your “angry kid(s),” Tricia has a lot of wisdom to share from parenting both biological and adopted children. In true Don’t Mom Alone fashion, Tricia and I answer several listener questions about how to respond in love and help kids of all ages process their anger and emotions. We talk about how much harder it is for the current generation of moms who have to factor in busier schedules, social media and more as a part of their children’s environments My oldest is 29 and my youngest is 8. It is so much harder now. I feel like I’m on the second generation of kids. Now there is social media. There is more television. There are more video games. The access that they have to all these things brings so much anxiety and tension. Not only do they have to go to school, but then they would come home and see on social media that people were talking about them. It’s just so much more involved now even than it was when I had my first generation of kids. But it’s not impossible! Tricia shares so many great practical tips and suggestions for how to help our kids (and ourselves) work through anger in a healthy way. But beyond all the tips, it all comes down to leaning into God and praying for the Holy Spirit to fill them that will make the biggest difference. It’s really the Holy Spirit in them and the fruit of the Spirit is God in them that’s going to change them. I could try all these activities. You know, we could do calming bags or coping skills. I mean we do all the things too. But really it is God in them. And the more they lean on God and the more they depend on him that they’ll truly change. What we chat about: Tricia’s family, career and unique calling as an adoptive parent Her new book, Calming Angry Kids Determining if your child is struggling with how to process anger in a healthy way Giving our kids time, attention and praise is a powerful antidote to anger Everyone gets mad, what we do with the anger makes the difference When they are in the middle of the emotions, it’s not the time to discipline them Kids learn to apologize when we model it for them Anger is often a secondary emotion from a deeper wounding like shame or feeling unloved or anxiety Family schedules are busier than ever before and it heightens anxiety in kids and parents Take time to process emotions with your kids and say “No” to more activities or events if they need a break Tricia shares both how we can process our own anger and how to help our angry kids The idea of an anger log to help track anger over time Calming bags and items you can include in them Give your kids time and space to calm down Specific tips for pre-teens and teens and helping them with anger and hormones Links Mentioned: Calming Angry Kids: Help and Hope for Parents in the Whirlwind ** Prayer Journals Big Kids ** Little Kids ** An Interview with Tricia Goyer {GCM Podcast Ep. 7} How to Discern God’s Will Stick With It :: Tricia Goyer [Ep 179] **Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

We’ve all been there. Your kid throws a fit in public and you feel the sting of embarrassment and the subtle lie that you aren’t a good enough mom. You fear what others will say and feel like the entire day is ruined in this one encounter. My guest Elyse Fitzpatrick has lived in this place of fear and presents another way to view your worth as a mother — resting in the righteousness of Jesus. She shares about the very common and subversive idols of motherhood to slip in when we try to control our children’s performance. But see that’s absolutely soul destroying because you either end up in fear and despair or pride and despair. That’s where you always end up when you’re living for your own righteousness. So in the days that I can lay down and in bed at night and say, ‘Yeah nailed it,’ then I am in pride. If you’ve struggled to feel “OK” in your own power or have found your personal joy tethered to your kids’ behavior, this episode is for you. Elyse gives us the simple reminder that we have the power through Jesus to topple the idols in our life. I began to understand this is really idolatry and I’m driving my kids insane trying to prove that I’m really an OK person. That I’m OK when they’re good and I’m a complete train wreck and bad and a loser when they’re not. But, when Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, then idols lose their power to entice us. What we chat about: Elyse’s blended family structure and her son’s adoption The balance of the disciplinarian and the more fun parent Insecurity about our own faith and the lie of trying to control our kids The danger of looking for identity in the way our kids behave Looking for the places in our lives where we feel afraid, angry or worried as a barometer for where we aren’t believing God Identifying idols in our lives and what they can look like How our children make us look or feel in front of others can bring up anger in us Elyse’s relationship with her mother and the background of her perceived need for control When Jesus becomes who he should be in our lives, our idols lose their power Not letting our joy be tethered to our kids’ behavior, or even our behavior Our self-centered struggle to feel “OK” in our own power How living for our own self righteousness leads to a soul destroying cycle of pride and despair Resting in the righteousness of Christ and remembering we are forgiven Links Mentioned: Front Porch with the Fitzes Podcast Give Them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse M. Fitzpatrick ** The Expulsive Power of a New Affection by Thomas Chalmers** No Other Gods Bible Study Book by Kelly Minter** **Amazon affiliate link. A small portion of your purchase will help produce this podcast.

It’s all too easy slip into believing lies over God’s truth. My guest today shares that healing is possible and opens up about her personal healing journey from both physical and emotional abuse and chronic illness. An author, radio host, and national speaker, Susie Larson, talks about how intertwined our emotional, spiritual, and physical health are. We talk through stories that are in her new book, “Fully Alive”, and she shares about some powerful experiences she’s had with the Lord. “The Lord whispered through the chaos in my bathroom. The storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth we need. The enemy’s railing and saying I’m going to get you. I’ve got you by the throat and I felt like my throat was starting I could swallow and my esophagus was spasming. It’s just horrifying to hear the whisper again. Storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth who need.” There’s so much hope and truth in this episode for all of us who are believing for healing this side of heaven. For more inspiration from Susie, I highly recommend her book, “Fully Alive”**, which is available for pre-order right now. What we chat about: Susie’s experiences with abuse both physical and emotional How our bodies hold onto trauma and hindrances to the healing process Storms reveal the lies we believe and the truth we need The idea of blessing guilt and surrendering to God for healing The lie of learned helplessness and the truth that we’re not helpless with Jesus Rejecting the lies of the enemy and addressing unbeliefs in our soul Confronting the scar tissue of our past and the life that’s on the other side of it God absolutely heals and it isn’t specifically a lack of faith that keeps us from receiving healing Jesus entered in to other’s pain and suffering, that’s our calling too The dangers of over medication and distraction that can keep us from being healed The integral role of rest in the healing process Links Mentioned: The Uncommon Woman Fully Alive: Learning to Flourish–Mind, Body, and Spirit** Your Powerful Prayers** **Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

So much of the Old Testament in the Bible is devoted to the traditions and celebrations of the Jewish faith. It is all a part of the rich heritage that Jesus was born into and the prophecies he fulfills. As Christians, we often skim over the Jewish feasts and traditions and focus on the New Testament. My friend Amber Lee shares why we should all consider celebrating one or more of the traditional Jewish feasts and how the rhythm of pausing and celebrating the Lord’s provision can be a life-giving practice for you and your family. For me it’s a gift that the Lord continues to unfold. It’s like a dad saying, ‘Hey, here’s a way to live life better. Here’s something that is better for your soul. If you would just pause the crazy rat race that you’re running for just a minute, for just two hours, and talk with people that you love about what’s going on.’ We talk about the various feasts and about the practice of keeping the Sabbath. But, more importantly, we acknowledge that participating in these traditions is not about being a better Christian or another thing to put on your to do list. It’s really about intentionally pausing life to celebrate God and inviting others into that celebration. And in each of the feasts, there’s this foreshadowing of bringing in the Gentile or bringing in the outsider. I think it’s just beautiful and the Lord saying it was always my intent to include everyone. What we chat about: How and why Amber started celebrating feasts The biblical background of Jewish feasts and how Jesus interacted with them It’s about pausing and celebrating how the Lord has provided The names and differences between the various feasts The way the feasts were meant to include outsiders and Gentiles Learnings about Jewish traditions and observing the Sabbath The Sabbath is really about pausing with intention and processing life with the Lord All about the feast of Pentecost and how the layers of prophecy fulfillment enrich the understanding of all that Jesus did How to start with Jewish feasts and tips for starting in small ways Links Mentioned: Website to learn more –> Hebrew4Christians Celebrating Jesus and the Biblical Feasts** Celebrating Biblical Feasts** **Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

Many of us avoid and struggle with conversations about race or disabilities because it’s uncomfortable. When our children ask innocent questions about someone who is different than they are, it can make us feel tongue tied or embarrassed. Author Dorena Williamson has created some lovely children’s books to help parents respond and invite their children to join them on the journey of learning to love and speak worth over every person that God created. And I kept feeling frustrated thinking that’s not the solution to teach your children to be colorblind because that’s minimizing the beauty of God’s handiwork. And as Christians we should be the biggest proponents of celebrating the beauty of our racial diversity and not minimizing it or sort of washing it away and this colorblind land. She shares powerfully about how to engage with your children about racial and cultural differences and how we can model what it looks like to grow in the area of loving and accepting people who are different than us. As our children get older, I think that these are valuable conversations to have with them because the beauty of it is that it tells your children you are teachable and that you don’t get it right all the time and that you’re continuing to learn and grow. What we chat about: All about Dorena’s family and their multiracial church, Strong Tower Bible Church Her book ColorFull and the background behind why she wrote it The creativity of God and how he uses color in all that he created Looking for opportunities to share the beauty of racial differences with our children Language for parents to use to help teach children and avoid shaming Reinforcing the idea that “Different is not bad” and calling out the worth of people Why equipping kids early is important Modeling how we are all growing when it comes to loving and accepting people who are different than us Encouraging our children to ask questions even when they are uncomfortable Engaging with our kids about other cultures whether we can travel internationally or experience cultures in our own cities Other books/sites that Dorena recommends: Brownicity.com site with helpful resources (created by a Godly woman Dr. Lucretia Berry) The Beatitudes by Carole Boston Weatherford The Other Side by Jacqueline Woodson Beabridgebuilder.com A list of 28 picture books (aren’t about boycotts, buses or basketball) –listed created by ScottWood **Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

Contemporary Christian musicians Chris Rademaker and Jodi King followed God’s call to pursue a musical adventure as the husband-wife duo Love & The Outcome. They share their experiences of selling their home, walking through grief, newlywed life on the road as musicians and their transition into parenting. Jodi especially talks through how she leans on the Holy Spirit in her parenting, managing expectations and other people’s reactions. I’ve had to learn how to just know the Holy Spirit. So in the moments when we’re in public and I’m parenting, I focus on Him. It’s so easy to turn and see everyone else’s reaction to what I just did was or I can just try and do my best to really listen to the Holy Spirit in the moment so that I can feel confident in my decisions. I love how Chris and Jodi open up about playing shows and bringing their two young sons Milo and Ziggy along for the ride. There’s so much encouragement for moms of littles in this episode, including letting our standards slip a little so we can still experience community even if it’s messy and involves take-out food instead of handcrafted meals. Maybe it’s just a season. But maybe it’s forever. I don’t really know what the Lord has. But letting go of some of my ideals has been so good. I have to acknowledge that I have a 2.5-year-old and a 1-year-old. Life looks like this right now, and it is the dream if I choose to be present to it and enjoy it. What we chat about: When Jodi and Chris met and started a touring band Their Enneagram types and how they work together as a couple How the Lord directed their path through grief and loss Parenting and challenges that come when touring with kids Dwelling in the Holy Spirit to make decisions Transitions in parenting and learning to lean into the Holy Spirit vs worrying what others think The concessions you make to connect with community when you are in a busy season Freeing yourself up from pre-conceived plans of what life “should” look like A new way to look at living the dream and choosing to be present in what your life is like now Links Mentioned: The God I Know music video The King of My Heart music video He is With Us music video L&TO albums: These Are the Days** & Love & The Outcome** **Amazon affiliate link to help support the production of this podcast.

It’s an uncomfortable and often controversial subject, especially in the church, but homosexuality and same sex attraction is something we all need to understand from a Biblical perspective. This week’s guest Jackie Hill Perry shares how the power of the gospel in her life rescued her from the sin she was living in as a woman with same sex attractions. She not only brings us into her amazing story, but absolutely preaches the word of God and brings a lot of clarity to what can feel like a gray area for many Christians. My conscience would not allow me to shake the truth that Jesus died for sin and that he is not pleased with sin at all. So I tried my best to shake him and I couldn’t…And I felt God speak to my heart and say that my girlfriend or my sin would be the death of me. That the wages of sin equals death. Because I saw it wasn’t my girlfriend or my lesbianism alone. It was that my entire life would be the death of me. Jackie shares stories and insights from her new book Gay Girl, Good God. She also answers listener questions about how to share God’s love with LGBTQ friends and family by treating them as a whole person and keeping the gospel centered on God’s truth and not culture’s.

Often the hardest assignments in our lives bring us the greatest good. I’ve seen it to be true in my own life. And have walked this Truth with friends on their journeys. In this episode I’ve invited my friends Alice and Candace to share their stories of adoption. And the process of discovering their adopted children have special needs. We also discuss how God has led them each into new ministries because of the children He’s brought into their families. I love seeing God’s purpose for Alice & Candace unfold alongside their leaning on Him for strength and guidance. Not to mention how they follow Him obediently with humor and grace! I don’t know if God made Millie have autism or if that is a result of living in a fallen world. That’s something that I question every day. But I do know that the struggles that she has had more than anything else have shaped our family in a way that I think brings glory to God, more than the easy and fun and good things.–Alice

In the thick of parenting it is easy to get our perspective skewed or react to our children from a place of emotion or our own sin. My guest Dr. Paul David Tripp gives a course-correcting pep talk reminding parents of their deep calling from God and how to look at discipline as an opportunity to connect our kids with God’s goodness. “You’re never just dealing with behavior. You’re always dealing with what controls the child’s behavior and that’s his heart. And if God consciousness doesn’t rule my heart, self orientation will. That’s what has to change. No I can’t create that change, but I can I can give God’s Spirit an opportunity again and again to work in the heart of my child” Tripp is a pastor, international event speaker, and best-selling author. As a father of four grown children, he shares candidly from his own experience. This encouraging episode is packed with a lot of truth! Share with your spouse and friends! What we chat about: The deeper calling of on our lives as parents We cannot rely on our kids to give us hope for parenting them. How opening our children’s eyes to see God everywhere pulls them away from a self centered existence. God created the world so that it’s very physical nature reveals him. Root the rules that you have for your children in God’s goodness and his love and His grace. Every opportunity we have to discipline or correct is not an opportunity first to threaten with punishment but to talk about how good God is. Ask the question, “What is God wanting to do in the heart of this child?” Behavior is really about a child’s heart orientation God way of parenting isn’t efficient, but it is transformational . The values of the world push against our calling as parents. We have to consider where we are placing our treasure and hope. A God perspective for how to respond when your children sin God is exposing something in my child so I can be part of his help and rescue. Parenting is about planting seeds. We aren’t going to see them bloom overnight. Dealing with rebellion and authority issues with grace and consequences Parenting adopted children and helping them with identity

In a time when biblical truth is often narrowed down to a greeting card slogan or a small subset of feel-good encouragements, the She Reads Truth community takes a different approach. The bible studies and reading plans from She Reads Truth take a deep dive into scripture with the goal to understand the big picture of who God is throughout history and our need for his grace. SRT co-founder and CEO Raechel Myers shares the community’s origin and her personal story of encountering God’s goodness amidst the loss of her daughter. Jump in to hear Raechel share her heart for studying scripture and relying on the Holy Spirit in the difficult places of parenting. I can base my understanding of God on the 36 years that I’ve experienced with him, but that is a mistake. God’s story is so far back before I ever existed. And so one of the important reasons that we read the Bible is to understand the broader story of who God is and how I fit into his story, not how he fits into mine. What we chat about: Raechel’s writing background and the purpose behind her first blog How God trained and equipped Raechel through various experiences before She Reads Truth began The origin of the She Reads Truth community Taking God’s word for what it is and not relying too heavily on devotionals or feel-good scriptures alone She Reads Truth has options for everything from free reading plans to beautiful, bound books A new children’s story book they’ve produced called This Is the Gospel Addressing faith and trusting that God is who he says he is with your older kids Why scripture plays such a key role in our understanding of who God is beyond our own experience with him The importance of modeling Christian life for our children’s spiritual formation

“They just keep fighting!” Summer, for us, means lots of unstructured time together as a family. Which is great. . . until it’s not. Perhaps you can identify. Maybe you see yourself in one of the following situations: Situation #1 – The kids are fighting – again! The harder you try to make it stop, the worse it seems to get – and the kids seem more and more resentful. Situation #2 – One minute they love each other and the next minute they’re arch enemies. The older they get the louder and angrier it gets. You hate the way this affects everyone’s mood, including your own. Situation #3 – Time-outs, required apologies, and firmness temporarily curb the fighting, but it soon comes back with more intensity. Situation #4 – Your young kids are beginning their rivalry and you worry where it’s heading if you don’t learn some better strategies. (copied from Sibling Conflict Online Course description). Jim & Lynne Jackson from ConnectedFamilies.org are back to equip us in training our children to solve conflict well. And instead of just wishing they would “just stop fighting”, to recognize the gospel work of guiding our family to reconciliation. Jim & Lynne have been on the show before sharing their fabulous 4-layer framework for discipline that connects (Listen here to Episode 80 & 81). And again helping connect in any situation (Ep 98). And recently helping us work with our kids on all of our entitlement issues (Ep 200) Today, they are talking us through The Peace Process. A simple but effective way to guide our kids to a lifetime of reconciled relationships. Here’s their great graphic with the four steps moving us from “crazy mountain” to peaceful reconciliation (Click here to print your own copy): Conflict is inevitable. Instead of just getting frustrated and annoyed, I’ve found having a plan to reconnect hearts and train empathy so helpful. I also loved all the phrases Jim & Lynne modeled to use as we guide our children through the process. Here are some of my favorites (I’ll be bookmarking this page and referring to often): “Sounds like y’all are having a hard time. Do you need my help or are you able to work it out on your own?” “Solving brains won’t work until we’re calm. Why don’t we each find a comfortable place. How long do you need? 5 min? 10 min? Then we’ll come back together to work this out.” “Did you hear that? How does she feel? Do you like that what you did made her feel that way? You two are listening to each other. How does that feel?” “Your big feelings are a gift. And they are an even greater gift with you can use them to help understand other’s big feelings.” “What’s going on? What was important to each person? How have you solved this problem before? Would you like to think of ways to solve the problem or do you want me to help give you choices on how to solve it?” “Are there four things you could say that are kind and true about that person?” Lastly, if you need more help learning how to guide your kiddos through the peace process, check out Jim & Lynne’s new SIBLING CONFLICT ONLINE COURSE. I’ll be working through it this summer. Join me! What we chat about: Considering your own baggage/sibling situation as you rush into your kids’ conflict. Are we trying to get conflict to stop or teach reconciliation? The four steps to “The Peace Process”. A real life example of applying peace process. How training in reconciliation helps our kids in their future marriages and relationships. Helping our kids learn how to solve the problem of the conflict (a 3-step process). A scenario of a more empathetic child in conflict with a more strong-willed child–growing specific skills in kids. Addressing the differences in your kids outside of conflict. Help for the mom who has a child with special needs in the sibling mix. Connecting with others based not on experience but emotion. Tips for conflicts that happen right before you have to leave the house.

You desire your children to walk with God. But how do you lead them to that place? Is that only your husband’s job? What if you are a single mom or functionally single mom? What about your role as a leader in your faith community? Should women leaders be gentle and quiet? Today’s guest is Jen Wilkin, author of “None Like Him” and “Women of the Word”. She debunks some myths we believe about spiritual leadership, inside and outside of the home. Her desire is for women to be grounded in the truth of God’s Word. To study with both their hearts and their minds. To know God and who He is. Then from knowing Him and His character see how He crafted us uniquely and our high worth in His eyes. In this episode Jen and I chat about spiritual leadership. How we can expand the definition of what we think that means. How leading our children changes over the years. How her own single mom prayed fervently for her and for God to grow big in her life. We also discuss how to be a spiritual leader in your community. How to manage that responsibility with humility and boldness. And how women need to not just see cute Instagram posts but know who God is from His Word. What we chat about: Jen’s young mom journey with three kids in four years. The need for accountability and structure in studying the Bible as a young mom. How the Wilkins describe leading children spiritual–the differences over the years. Tips for the woman who is spiritually leading her children. Expanding the definition of “spiritual leader” in the home. Jen’s journey of spiritual growth having a single mom. Self-reflection asking “Am I stepping on people? Limiting the contribution of others?” How to be a woman in spiritual leadership/ministry. What do you do if women think you are more “spiritual” than them. How to be grounded in theWord and not cute, Instagram posts. What does it mean that God is transcendent. Links Mentioned: Revolutionary Parenting by George Barna** When Dad Doesn’t Disciple by Jen Wilkin None Like Him by Jen Wilkin ** In His Image by Jen Wilkin** Flower Mound Women’s Bible Study Jen’s Bible Study at the Village Church this Fall on Genesis Jen’s Published Bible Studies –> Sermon on the Mount** 1 Peter: A Living Hope in Christ** God of Creation : Study of Genesis 1-11**