Dear Clementine

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: How do you handle a bullying (and sexist) family member around the holidays? I have a family member who is always berating me for not being helpful enough, meanwhile it is OK for my brother or her husband to be sleeping in the living room because they are "just men." How can I address this blatant sexism and double-standard? I’m nearly 33 and have been single for over 6 years. I’m considering freezing my eggs soon. If I decided to go down the sperm donor route and become a single parent by choice, I worry that my child would resent me for denying them a father or that it would cause them issues later in life. What are your thoughts on single mothers by choice and sperm donors? Lately I have been wondering how my relationship with my parents will evolve, especially as they transition into retirement. I'm a 30 year old independent and secure queer woman. I have a beautiful, reliable and stable support network in my friends, and get essentially all of my needs met through friends, colleagues, siblings and lovers. My parents are very practical but have low EQ and have never been particularly emotionally available. Is it bad that I don't feel a desire to let my parents in closer than arms length? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: My eldest daughter is almost 13 and I really want to start giving her some age-appropriate feminist books. I’m wondering what books you think would have been beneficial for you at this age? If you could go back in time, which books would you have given your 13-year-old self? Recently one of my super close & also fat girlfriends confided in me that she and her boyfriend spend a lot of time talking about their friends. This included a night spent talking exclusively about how my ‘boob to ass ratio is all wrong’, followed with a lot of jokes about my body shape. She told me this as if it were perfectly normal & even funny. I’m angry because I shared my insecurities with her & now she’s using it as a source of entertainment for her and her boyfriend. How do I approach them about this or are they projecting their relationship troubles on me – should I just leave it be? I’m feeling angry with my family. I live in Scotland & my family lives in Germany. Because of the pandemic, I wasn’t able to see them for 2 years. When I was able to visit them, I was disappointed because it felt like all the attention was on my 2yo niece, even my mum had no time for me & I wasn’t able to have the heart to heart I was hoping for (& so badly needed) because she was so busy. On top of this, I am always the one reaching out to them – they’re never the ones to get in touch. I feel like a jealous, needy idiot for feeling neglected, but I also don’t think they appreciate how hard the last 2 years have been on my own, struggling with depression, living through the pandemic. How do I move forward? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: I am a few months away from 40 and am feeling really anxious. I am particularly struggling with unpicking the patriarchal lies within that tell me women over 40 have no value. While I can look around and see so many women in their 40s and older thriving and continuing to be vibrant, beautiful, powerhouses, I still can't shake this feeling that it's all downhill from here. A very yuck part of me wonders whether or not I’m “allowed” to write a book as a someone who hasn’t been to university. I would never judge a person for choosing a life path that best serves them, so why am I judging myself and speculating the way other people may view me? Do you have any advice for how to best navigate something like this? My boyfriend's sex drive is through the roof, whereas mine is what I would consider pretty average. I hate turning him down, but I also hate having sex I don't really want. Do you think people with different sexual needs can make their relationships work, or do we both need to look for someone more compatible? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Trigger warning: this episode contains discussion of sexual abuse & eating disorders This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: My kid sister is much younger than me & my brother. She recently shared with me that when she was 16 years old one of my brother’s 34 year old friends started a secret sexual relationship with her. My sister is so ashamed now, she’s sworn my to secrecy. I want to honour that but also want to tell my brother and confront the offender. How can I take action without betraying her trust or undermining her authority? I get far too many comments on my appearance. It’s often from other women saying I look pale or tired, asking if I’ve lost weight etc. How can I tackle these conversations constructively in a way that makes me feel strong but also isn’t rude? I'm a childless woman in my mid 30s. I’ve had a long battle with disordered eating, body dysmorphia, self-harm and low self-esteem. I have come to realise that the reason I was putting off having children was because of the fear of what pregnancy & motherhood would do to my body & identity. In recent months I am starting to feel like I’m ready to have a child, but I’m terrified of falling back into a bad place with the sudden changes to my body / hormones. Is this a normal fear? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] LINKSPANDA - Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia – supports the mental health of parents and families during pregnancy and in their first year of parenthood.CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: My 9 year old son was recently exposed to porn and I am heart broken. I feel completely overwhelmed and uncertain of how to move forward. I know I can't make him unsee what he saw, but what do I do? How can I help him now? My partner of 6 years recently left me & our 3yo daughter. After 2 weeks, he had a new girlfriend... It has now been only 8 weeks since we split up and we are currently arguing about the right time for him to introduce his new girlfriend to my daughter. Am I being unreasonable asking him to wait at least 6 months? I'm turning 40 in 3 months time, and am single, and childless. I’m very happy but I have had sex twice in about 4 years. I miss sex! However, I also know that I need emotional connection to truly enjoy sexual intimacy. I've never enjoyed using sex toys. Do you have any advice? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: It seems to me that so many of my male friendships are not actually friendships but often fall into grey zones and collapse. How do I conduct myself firmly, ethically and with kindness, so as to not to land in these situations anymore? My daughter identifies as a 'Trad wife'. She has a daughter herself and I am worried about her being brought up in a household with such archaic values about women's roles. What can I do to ease or confront these feelings? My daughter is 13. She likes wearing clothes that some would describe as ‘revealing’. I don’t have an issue with what she wears but I am conflicted, knowing there are a lot of creepy men out there. What are your thoughts on this? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: Where / how do I draw the line between giving someone a chance & wasting my own time? Can you please give me some practical advice to build self-esteem and how to practice truly helpful self-care? What's your advice for a mid-twenties female unsure about life? What would you tell 25-year-old Clem? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How can we prepare ourselves against future poverty & bolster our finances for retirement? That's theme of this special bonus episode. Clementine is joined by Trenna Probert, finance expert & CEO of Super Fierce, to answer your superannuation questions. Trenna answers: Should I be putting extra into my super fund? Should I cash in my super and buy property via a self managed super? How can I balance choosing an ethical super whilst also making sure I’m investing wisely? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: My relationship of 18 years has come to an end. I have no idea what to do with myself. I gave my partner everything and sacrificed so much - how do I find myself again after all this time? Tween / teen girls are nightmares - fact or fiction? What should I say to those suggesting later diagnosis of ADHD in women is a fad? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: My sister in law is hot. She’s also kind, intelligent, funny and interesting. I really like her as a person but I’m also jealous of how perfect she is. Every time I compare myself to her, I feel terrible about myself. Do you have any strategies for dealing with this type of jealousy? Can you please unwind the attitude behind men posturing themselves as victims when they do not obtain sex from women they pursuit, even if that pursuit was never welcome, warranted or met by the woman? I'm a single woman in my late 30s. Since getting divorced a few years ago, I feel content right down to my core. As time goes by however, I'm getting more and more 'crazy cat lady' comments. I feel that I am so much more than my relationship status and a woman who loves cats, but these comments still get under my skin. Do you have any advice on how to respond or manage my feelings? If you have a question for Clementine, send her an email at [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: I’m think of myself as a feminist but often my mind is really not feminist at all...I often fantasise about being submissive and man pleasing, sometimes they being verbally abusive or using coercive control and me giving up my power. Where is the line between kink and repressed inner misogyny? I have an 11 year old daughter and I’m currently deciding whether to put her in an all-girls high school or co-education. I’m interested in your thoughts around the pros and cons of single sex vs co-education for girls. I'm in my early 30s and really want to have a baby but worry about what it will mean for my life, career, relationships & financial security. Can you ever be fully ready and if so, how do you know? CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: Being anti-marriage, I really detest everything a wedding symbolizes, and as a socially-anxious introvert I don’t enjoy them at all. Or maybe I’m just bitter and jealous because as a lifelong single woman I will never get the chance to be celebrated like a bride. I feel so conflicted when invited to a wedding - on one hand resenting having to spend money and time participating in something I dislike so much but on the other, feeling I should suck it up because it is important to people I care about. Thoughts? In the last twelve months I’ve had two male friends totally cease contact with me after commencing new ‘serious’ relationships. I’ve been friends with both for nearly 30 years. How do I navigate my emotions through this? I contracted herpes when I was 19 and in an emotionally abusive relationship where he intentionally gave me herpes as a way of manipulating/ branding me… it has affected my ability to see my value as a sexual partner, 7 years on and I’m still just not quite sure how to navigate that conversation and shame when I’m trying to meet new partners. CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: - What are your thoughts on me moving out of my shared place with my boyfriend, but staying together in the relationship?- I’m a 27 year old female with 3 much older brothers. My middle brother and his wife have bullied me since I was young, including when they actively stayed in contact with a previous abusive partner of mine. So I’ve basically had no contact with them for years. In a few weeks it’s my younger of the three brothers birthday and they’re invited. My husband says we shouldn’t attend the event as I’m putting myself in an unnecessarily uncomfortable situation, but I’m unsure if this means they win as it’s exactly what they want. Thoughts?- I’m really concerned about the amount of content by people like Andrew Tate but also Tik Toks by women and men explaining why ‘feminism is a scam’. My brother is 16 and a prime target for this kind of thing. How do we educate young men on these toxic narratives? CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: - I’ve been with my partner for 5 years, he recently confirmed he’s not as attracted to me as he once was. Our relationship is too good to let go of but I still want to feel attractive. Do you have any advice? - How can I get my employer to take my complaints about a gross colleague seriously?- How do I get over my gender disappointment of finding it my second child will also be a boy? CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: - Over the last 2 years or so I've really worked on myself. I've noticed since I've found my worth and some success, I have been losing friends. What do I do? How do I avoid this happening again? - How have you handled harassment and bullying? I have aspirations myself of becoming a successful writer/musician and have always been terrified of entering the public sphere for this reason. - How do I deal with not being able to fulfil my ambitions because of roles that society requires me to take on as a woman? I'm applying to study medicine but I’m 26 years old and I’ll potentially be in my early-mid 30’s by the time I finish studying. I would also really like children and it makes me very angry that I potentially have to pick one or the other. CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: - I am 31 and single. Many of my friends have started having babies, but when I find out I can't help but feel sad. Am I a bad friend for feeling sad?- 3 years ago I was made aware that my father had been a serial cheater throughout my parents' entire relationship. My sister says it's cruel that I'm "punishing" him by refusing contact with him. What should I do? Am I overreacting? - Recently my son came home from preschool with a new chant he learnt. “Girls are weak, chuck them in the creek”. I’m trying to explain to him why this is a harmful thing to say, but I’m having trouble getting him to understand it. Any advice? CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: - I can’t help but think it’s internalised patriarchy / misogyny that drives women to perpetuate cultural norms such as needing to conceal our natural age / appearance. How do you reconcile this with some of the material you’ve posted around fillers / botox etc?- I just got home from a frustrating experience being patronised by a male friend, I've spent the last hour going over and over in my mind what I wish I'd said to him. What are your tips on letting things go instead of having rear view mirror conversations in your head on a loop?- Why do I feel so conflicted when my friends post photos of their kids at dance concerts? Apart from the privacy stuff, seeing young girls in adult-looking dance costumes with their hair and makeup done makes me feel really uncomfortable. Is this sexualising kids and making them feel like if they want praise they have to perform? Or am I reading into it too much? If you'd like to ask Clementine a question, send her a message via Instagram or send an email to [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: - How do you suggest I deal with a woman who finds ways to put me down and make me embarrassed, particularly in front of other people? - My husband and I often argue about housework. How do I get him to do his share?- How can I accept my 21 year old daughter's partner of choice when I know they met when she was 18 and he was 30? If you'd like to ask Clementine a question, send her a message via Instagram or send an email to [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

***Warning: This episode contains discussion of eating disorders***This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: - I love watching my comfort reality shows, but it’s so difficult to look past the obvious manipulation and sexism. How can I enjoy trashy TV while being a feminist? - What's the best way to raise two young women who are confident in their bodies and in their sex lives? - I have a question regarding fat phobia vs fat pride. Do you think there is a difference? If you'd like to ask Clementine a question, send her a message via Instagram or send an email to [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

***Warning: this episode includes discussion of domestic violence.*** This week in the Dear Clementine inbox: - How can I get over my crippling fear that no one will ‘want me’ (except for sex) now that I’m a single mum? - I have a good friend whose husband behaves in ways towards her that I find completely unacceptable. I’ve spoken to her about it, but I want to know how I can best support her? - I have one child and the more I think about climate change the more sorrow I feel for my child and how selfish I’ve been in bringing her into the world. How do you feel about it with your own son? If you'd like to ask Clementine a question, send her a message via Instagram or send an email to [email protected] LINKSIf you or anyone you know needs support contact 1800RESPECT online or call 1800 737 732. This is a 24-hour national sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line for any Australian who has experienced, or is at risk of, family and domestic violence and/or sexual assault. CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every week Clementine Ford will be delivering the advice you need to hear. This week in the Dear Clementine inbox:- I was betrayed by my partner of 12 years and my best friend. How do I move on from the hurt I feel, and the sense that it was all a lie? - As a woman in the public service (nursing) I am so demoralised by how little financial and structural support feminised industries receive in comparison to male dominated public spheres. How do we stop women leaving because the fight for equal conditions seems too impossible sometimes? - I constantly feel really inadequate in my sexual encounters. I have a terrible gag reflex (sorry tmi) and an inverted uterus which makes most positions uncomfortable. Most guys seem very annoyed or frustrated by this and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I would love some advice. If you'd like to ask Clementine a question, send her a message via Instagram or send an email to [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every week Clementine Ford will be delivering the advice you need to hear. This week in the Dear Clementine inbox:- How do I stay composed when I’m calling out racist, homophobic, misogynistic behavior? - Do you experience career rejection & how do you deal with it? - What are your thoughts on separating the art from the artist? If you'd like to ask Clementine a question, send her a message via Instagram or send an email to [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every week Clementine Ford will be delivering the advice you need to hear. This week in the Dear Clementine inbox:- How can I help a gal pal who thinks she’s in love with a boy who’s hot and cold with her and also doesn’t always tell the truth? - How do I stay sane in a new relationship when all my brain wants to do is hyper focus on that person!? - How do I tell my mother-in-law that I will not be changing my last name when my partner and I get married? If you'd like to ask Clementine a question, send her a message via Instagram or send an email to [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The US Supreme Court has overturned the nationwide right to abortion in its landmark Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization ruling. At the time of publication abortion is now banned in at least nine states, with trigger bans in several more set to take effect in the coming days. Understandably, Clem had a fair bit to say about this ruling so we are dropping into your feed with a special episode. LINKSPlanned Parenthood Action FundIndigenous Women Rising Abortion FundShout Your AbortionNational Network of Abortion FundsRoe v. Wade Explainer CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Every week Clementine Ford will be delivering the advice you need to hear. This week in the Dear Clementine inbox:- Do you have any advice for separating from controlling parents? - Am I the only one who doesn't want to climb the career ladder? I want to climb down… - My female friend prefers male executives because they are "easier to work with"... thoughts?  If you'd like to ask Clementine a question, send her a message via Instagram or send an email to [email protected] CREDITSExecutive Producer: Edwina StottAudio Production: Adrian WaltonManaging Producer: Elle Beattie For more great Nova Podcasts head to novapodcasts.com.auSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In need of a little guidance? Desperate for some advice, but too afraid to ask your friends? Award winning author and proud feminist Clementine Ford is here to help. Whether you've got a question about family, career, sex or friendships Clementine is the sister you always wanted, the mum you never had, the aunty who always listened and the friend who's got your back. Dear Clementine is a podcast packed with advice you may not want but you definitely need.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.