D&D is For Nerds

Dracula: Sometimes known as a vampyr or Lesser Greater Vampire (or just vampire if thy savvy hunter wishes to be seen as uncouth as well as (or in addition to (or instead of)) savvy) this book thinks it foolish to contend with such a creature so don’t worry about it. Thy shall know to avoid thou dracula if they are in a region where a faint or minor trace of that magic known as necromancy is undercurrent wherever they travel, animals of the house and farm keep together at nights for fear, and voices not of thy own sometimes whisper thy savvy hunter (or others!) name when thy is alone and beckon thy further (do not listen to them for thou voices shall lead thy astray!) If thy is forced to worry about it though it should be important to keep a cool head as that might be a method for the dracula to control the un-savvy hunter. Savvy hunters all know this one truth, and as they all know it I shall not bother to repeat it here but rather assume you already know one of the most critical and important things about fighting thou Dracula. Instead this author shall furnish thy with what is considered lesser informations, that thou Draculi placing of death shall affect (or effect I can never tell) the powers and unpowers that it shall possess. But first you must answer some simple questions.Does the Dracula live outside?If yes, congratulations! You have stumbled upon a City Place Dracula. While it can teleport through doors and turn into rats, it cannot leave the city.If no ask yourself does the Dracula live near sea level?No? Well okay then, does the Dracula live above or below sea level?Yes? You’ve found yourself face to face with a Tall Places Dracula if thine answer waseth no, you’re dealing with a Negative-Tall Places Dracula.Now if the Dracula you are facing does live near sea level I’m afraid more observation from you iseth needed. In particulars thine nature of thine environment, where the Dracula is most often stood and where or not it yearns for wide open spaces. Good luck out there savvy hunter.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We gather in your light to release this soul from shadow. You who walked this mortal road have earned your rest. Your deeds are written not in stone, but in the warmth of those you sheltered, in the fires you kindled against the dark, in the lives that burned brighter for your presence.Adventurer, your curiosity got the better of you, but you can now lay down you arms. Your burdens are finished. Your quest complete. The long night that comes for us all now comes for you. But know this: the light of the Sun does not abandon what it loves. As it sets, so too shall it rise, and in that rising, you shall be found.Walk into that Golden Light. Let Penia receive you with welcome arms. Not as a soldier. Not as a servant. But as a child come home.The Dawn remembers its own.Rest, now. You have earned the light.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To the Attention of Rahadin,I understand you are making a shortlist for potential assistants for me to look through peruse when I return, however would like to put forward my own recommendation. I apologise if you’ve already put in the work but I have rather unexpectedly ran into a trusted friend from my homeland here, in Castle Ravenloft. The man whom whomst that handed youIt is with a warm heart that I recommend Harvey Hancock for the position of my Personal Assistant. Mr Hancock has proven himself time and time again to be reliable, good-natured, and sharp of mind and wit. I believe he is more than suited to the role, and I trust him to represent my interests with care and discretion.I ask that you receive this letter as formal notice of his appointment, and extend to Mr Harvey Hancock the same courtesies afforded to those who serve in good standing. With respect and gratitude,HecktLightbringerKnight of the CAssistant to StrahdPS If this is a paid position and it is possibly, could Harvey have his first pay in advance? Or take it from my.. is my position paid? Sorry, I should have asked about this before. Please disregard this PSIf you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

My whole life, I’ve only know of one profession: Knight of the Cloth. There are Oaths to take. Oaths you should not break, cannot break. I took them before I could grow hair on my chin. The Divine Order taught me many things. Mostly how to fight with a sword and not embarrass myself in front of dignitaries. I can recite 9 different prayers for the morning, tell the difference between most devils and demons at a glance but I have no idea how to balance a budget. Contracts are a foreign concept, I was taught that my word was stronger than ironwood. I do not have the training, the brains nor the stomach for politicking. I’ve always hated the dishonesty of it all. But here I am, having to be dishonest to everyone because he is always listening and if he finds out what I have planned I would have died for no reason, like so many others before me.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The thing about wood from a tree-blight is that it's not regular wood, owing to the fact that it didn't come from a regular tree. It came from an evil tree, therefore, evil wood. And if you build a house out of evil wood, guess what, you've got an evil house, probably full of evil furniture. On top of this there's always the risk, or at least Emmanuel seems to think so, that the tree-blight will try and reform and become a great big tree again, and if that happens, you're out of a house, and also probably dead.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

To many of us Urwin was a kind face and a gentle heart. Anyone in town could tell you a tale of how he was there with a drink in each hand and a shoulder to grieve on. Tonight we remember Urwin not for grief but to bring him to life together one last time. In life Urwin was like a great stone statue and each of us were given a piece to hold and feel his love and remember when he could not be there for us physically. And now, one by one, each of us will share our piece of Urwin. And together we will put him together.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"... and once the great forges of dwarvkin burn no morethe frozen passages and snowkin will once more take Nottthis time Lemminkäinen will know no equal as his frostand these shall be known as the end of days.And on these days the children of Hus shall see the endthe end of all things but one:even at the end of time Lemminkäinen's wrath will remain."If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Admiral Cutter,I am pleased to report that while tests are still ongoing we have had incredible initial success. Your tabaxi scientist Crawls-Trough-Walls and the rest of his team believe they are close to isolating whatever element within the Blue Blood that disconnects a subject from the weave and the future. Dr Crawls has demonstrated capabilities of reducing the divinable qualities of a square block of stone to near zero. The object defies even practised divination attempts. The team are saying that live trials may be next. Whatever you have gained here has leapfrogged our research by decades.Your humble servant,Lt HiramIf you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Y'know, folks like to say Pip is wholly without confidence. That he don't know how to make a decision. In some ways they're right I guess. 'Cept when it's him against a monster. Thats a different Pip altogether. When that crossbows pumpin' and he's making tough calls with teeth on his neck, thats a different Pip. I reckon folks see what I see then, I reckon they see him for real.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Grugrog's Famous Cure. After slaying a rather large beastie that's been terrorising the town, the discerning adventurer would be remiss to not partake in a night of debaucherous revelry! This, in turn, can bring on a head-shattering hangover to slay even the great Tiamat. To get that hangover under control, we recommend a hearty breakfast, and the best hearty breakfast comes from the all-in-one adventure's favourite: The Owl-Bear. Eggs, meat and (if you're up for it) milk can all be collected and/or harvested from one or two owl-bear caves. We highly recommend enriching an owl-bear egg scramble with owl-bear milk and served with owl-bear sausages. However, if owl-bear milk is too much trouble to acquire (if the owl-bear is not lactating or is a male of the species (WARNING: DO NOT ATTEMPT TO MILK A MALE OWL-BEAR THIS WILL JUST MAKE THEM ANGRY AND THE RESULT IS NOT WORTH IT)) a simple breakfast of a single owl-bear egg (raw) and owl-bear steak (medium to medium-rare) has more than enough nutrients and vitamins to fight off any emerging hangover. Of course you could always chug a health potion. If you're a coward.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A vivid conversation strikes out between two former paladins over an evening meal and takes an interesting turn when one quizzes another about their values and worldviews.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"It's just a castle," Pirrin mutters the mantra under his breath while scaling a wall, "living people don't guard ghosts," Pirrin whispers while slitting a knights throat. "Just a normal castle" Pirrin insists moving from shadow to shadow counting the steps between guard patrols."Hecktor would kill any ghosts if he saw them."Pirrin's breath catches in his throat as a long black cloak glides around a corner-- his mind wild and near panic. Feeling like he might throw up his own heart Pirrin's muttering slips between false prayer and genuine swearing as he catches a closing side door before it locks."Ghost's can't hurt--" Pirrin stops suddenly. Laughter and the smell of wine. "Is that a flipping dinner party?"If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

/feɪt-less/ADJ.1. Having or showing a lack of fate. Having no predetermined destiny.She went through life like a fateless rock tumbling down a hill2. To act unpredictably or have an immunity to divination.The only thing more shocking than when she pulled the knife was that the court diviner couldn't find the fateless traitor3. A condition of unknown causation where the subject cannot have their future predicted by magical means.Get out! Get out of here! You charlatan! You fake! You fateless wench!NOUN1. Being a member of a class known for having blue blood and being immune to divination magic. First observed by the scholar Chester A. B. in the Age of Devastation.The fateless cannot be tamed by gods or kings, they are a people who are truly free in every sense of the word If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hm, looks like this particular corner of the Shadowfell's got itself a mighty big vampire shaped problem. Thats ok. We can get some kind of posse together I'm sure. Hell, just gotta get the right kinda folks. People with training, people with skills, and most important, people who give a damn. Shoot. Wont be the first time I've faced off against some ne'er do well who's too big for his britches and by hell if its gonna be the last.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

People don’t realise but the true burden of a Monster Hunter isn’t the detective work, or the ignorant villagers, or even fighting the monster itself. It’s the knowledge. The knowledge of what these monsters are actually capable of, how bad it is, the true consequences of failure. That if you make one mistake, draw the wrong conclusion, pick the wrong entry, people die. That even if you do everything at your disposal, there’s a very good chance that you will still fail, and that people will hold it against you for as long as you live. If you cannot imagine the shape of the things that go bump in the night, well, you should consider yourself very lucky.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A funny thing about faith is you don’t have to be religious to have it. We are told many things when we are growing up, when we are younger, before we even experience the world. A long list of things to not do, places not to go, people not to trust, words that are forbidden and on and on and on. Don’t go outside with damp hair, you’ll catch a cold. Don’t venture out alone into the woods, you’ll be eaten by wolves. Don’t touch the kettle, you’ll burn yourself. So you stay inside, never to go exploring, and you do not touch the kettle. And you are thankful because you are safe and you did not burn yourself. But you can never really know for sure if the kettle was hot or not. It could have all been a little white lie to protect your loved ones. After all, why unnecessarily risk the safety of your child’s fingers if he does reach for the hot metal? Best to be just precautions. Best to lie. You don’t have to be religious to have a crisis of faith. If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I do not understand how these individuals have survived so long without me. They should be commended. Like when a small child learns to walk. It is something they need to do and should come naturally to ensure its survival. Myself- I was walking almost the moment I was born but I am to understand not everyone is as gifted. There is something to be commended about the Great General Pip Manadarin, even though he understands how to walk, he will still crawl to give himself, I presume, some sort of tactical advantage. No matter how shameful or dishonourable it might appear from the outside looking in. He truly is a dragonborn that doesn’t care what people think of him, which must be a great relief to himself and those that he surrounds himself with. ...Because no one thinks very highly of the man you see.If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hecktor Alabaster would die doing what he loved, trying to save someone else and never thinking about himself. Hecktor Alabaster was born on a hard stone table at his family's home in Northern Candor, the second child of decently well to do and hardworking parents. He came of a people who had been stonemasons for generations, men and women whose bodies became as hard and unbreakable as the stone they worked with. Hecktor Alabaster was a boy of quiet habits and soft hands whose mother would describe him as timid and shy. Reading stories of heroic knights and larger than life adventurers, Hecktor would often wish he could be anything other than like himself. He wished he was brave. He wished he was strong. But most of all, he wished he wasn't afraid of the dark. If you're still wanting to pledge for the Jarren's Outpost Board Game you can right here! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.