Dad Starting Over

DSO discusses the statistic that married people have more sex than single people, and whether this means that single individuals should get married to improve their sex lives. He examines the reality of sex in marriages by looking at survey data, which shows that a significant percentage of married couples are in dead bedroom relationships. DSO also explores the societal benefits of marriage and how it can serve as a solution for men who are not having any sexual encounters or causing chaos in society. However, he emphasizes that marriage is not for everyone and that the idea of a hypersexual and fulfilling sex life in marriage is not applicable to the majority of couples.Key Takeaways:Statistically, married people have more sex than single people, but this does not mean that single individuals should rush into marriage for the sake of their sex lives.A significant percentage of married couples are in dead bedroom relationships, where they have infrequent or unsatisfying sex.Marriage serves a societal purpose by providing stability and reducing chaos caused by men who are not having any sexual encounters or relationships.Marriage can be a fulfilling and hypersexual experience for a select few, but for the majority of couples, the reality is different.It is important to assess one's own sex life and personal desires before considering marriage, as it may not be the solution for everyone.Quotes:"The majority of men out there on the prowl looking for a mate in the singles market are not having frequent sexual encounters with women.""The majority of marriages are in dead bedroom relationships or, at the very least, undersexed relationships.""Marriage serves a purpose. It's good overall for society. It's certainly better for our kids to have a man and woman under one roof.""The reality is that marriage is not a hypersexual, awesome thing for the majority of couples.""Marriage is not for everyone. It's important to assess your own sex life and personal desires before considering it."

In this episode, DSO responds to a question from a listener named John Rambo, who is feeling anxious about his wife attending a bachelorette party in Vegas. John has been with his wife for almost 13 years and they have three children together. He describes his wife as beautiful and trustworthy, but he still has concerns about the party and worries about potential infidelity. DSO explores two possible explanations for John's anxiety: insecurity and a gut feeling that something is not right. He encourages John to examine his own behavior and communication patterns in the relationship, as well as his level of trust and security. DSO also suggests that John and his wife set clear boundaries and communicate openly about their concerns and expectations.Key Takeaways:Insecurity and anxious behavior can create tension in a relationship and lead to feelings of mistrust.Open communication and setting clear boundaries can help alleviate anxiety and build trust in a relationship.Trusting your partner and having a sense of abundance can help overcome anxiety and fear of infidelity.Quotes:"There's no right or wrong here, dude. Let's be honest.""If she does something stupid enough to let me down, that's on her. Then she loses her husband. That sucks to be her.""Insecurity and anxious behavior can create tension in a relationship and lead to feelings of mistrust."The DSO Fraternity

Karen and Catherine offer a service that they call "My Divorce Solution". It's an excellent method for gathering all pertinent information and uncovering all the facts you may need when going through a divorce. From their website at mydivorcesolution.com:"We specialize in supporting divorcing couples in effectively managing the division of their marital estate. We strive to demystify the complexities involved, ensuring our clients have a crystal-clear understanding of their financial situation. By providing comprehensive insights into the long-term impact of their choices, we empower individuals to make well-informed decisions that will shape their future and that of their family. Our goal is to help each client achieve the most favorable outcome, ensuring their financial security and peace of mind during this challenging time."

DSO addresses a common issue faced by many men in long-term relationships: feeling neglected and pushed to the back burner after having children. He explains that this shift in attention and priorities is a natural result of motherhood and the demands of raising children. However, he acknowledges the valid need for intimacy and connection in a relationship and offers advice on how to address this issue.DSO emphasizes the importance of understanding the biological and societal factors at play, such as hormonal changes and cultural expectations. He suggests that creating a supportive social circle and seeking outside influences that prioritize maintaining intimacy can be beneficial. DSO also highlights the need for open communication and a willingness to address the issue as a couple.He cautions against relying solely on time to resolve the issue, as the demands of parenting and life can continue to impact the relationship. Instead, he encourages taking proactive steps to bridge the gap and reconnect as a couple. DSO advises men to assess their own behavior and ensure they are fulfilling their role as a supportive partner and co-parent. He also emphasizes the importance of championing the effort to rebuild intimacy and seeking professional help if necessary.Key Takeaways:The transition from being a partner to becoming a parent often leads to a shift in priorities and attention, which can leave men feeling neglected.Understanding the biological and societal factors at play can help navigate the challenges of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship.Building a supportive social circle and seeking outside influences that prioritize maintaining intimacy can be beneficial.Open communication and a proactive approach are essential in addressing the issue and rebuilding intimacy.Taking responsibility for one's own behavior and role as a partner and co-parent is crucial in bridging the gap and reconnecting as a couple.Quotes:"You are basically identifying something that a lot of men, myself included, have seen in relationships with women who become mothers to our children.""Guys that I speak to in my own personal family friend circle and guys I speak to in the dad starting over world. They will all say, oh yeah, I went from number one to number like 92 on the list of things that my woman is concerned with.""You need your own culture and your own friend group and your own family around you, those people that have shown you over the years, this is how you stay connected to your spouse.""You clean up your side of the table, you do everything that you're supposed to be doing. Take a good, hard look at yourself.""You and me, we're going to work on this starting now. And you, from what I've seen, need to be the champion of this."The DSO Fraternity

DSO responds to a question from a man named Nick who is frustrated with his wife's lack of contribution to household chores and responsibilities. Nick works long hours and comes home to clean, cook, and take care of their four children while his wife spends her time on the couch or surfing the web. DSO explains that this situation is not uncommon and suggests that Nick has inadvertently trained his wife to behave this way by not setting boundaries or demanding equal participation. He advises Nick to put his foot down and insist on change, as well as consider the possibility that his wife may be suffering from depression. DSO emphasizes the importance of seeking professional help and being patient throughout the process of addressing these issues.Key Takeaways:Lack of boundaries and inaction can lead to one partner taking on all household responsibilities.Depression may be a factor in a partner's lack of motivation and contribution.Seeking professional help and setting clear expectations are crucial for resolving these issues.Quotes:"You have trained this woman to do this stuff. Why? Because she did a little at a time, and you basically, with your inaction said, that's cool.""Depression can manifest or present itself in a lot of different ways. And one of the most common ways is glued to the couch in action, not doing a damn thing.""Put your foot down and say, enough is enough. We're going to get help with this.""You have years of training. You've trained this dog to act a certain way, and suddenly tomorrow you're going to be like, you know all that training I gave you? Pet dog. Well, it's terrible.""Don't just throw in the towel right away. Put in the old effort, the effort that goes beyond just being a yes man and trying to smooth things over and avoid conflict."The DSO Fraternity

Lloyd is obviously not too happy with his love life to his wife of twenty years. He labels her as "avoidant", and their scheduled once-per-week intimacy sessions aren't panning out. What can he do?

A follower, JD, reaches out and shares a story that is, unfortunately, pretty common. His wife seems to have flipped out after enduring a pretty normal but negative life situation. Her father passed away. What does she do? She copes by getting attention and having sexual relations with people outside of the marriage. Not good! What JD does is a common thing: He frames the situation as, "Everything was fine up until the big life moment happened". With some honest reflection, he'll probably look back on their life together and uncover ALL KINDS of red flag moments throughout their history together. That's why JD needs to do the extra hard work of determining why he was initially attracted to and stayed attached to such a person. If he doesn't figure that out... he's going to do it again with the next one!

A follower shares the story of being stuck in a long-term dead bedroom relationship. He has worked on himself and tried like hell to repair the relationship, but the wife doesn't seem to care. And now, with this high status as a business owner/boss and with his newfound physical fitness, he has caught the eye of a younger woman. He's obviously already head over heels for the woman, but doesn't want to destroy his marriage. Or does he? Like most men in this situation, he is very conflicted.

A follower reaches out and tells the story of his wife who wants nothing more to do with him. It's time that he listens and stops hanging on...You can ask DSO a question by filling out the form here: https://dadstartingover.com/dear-dso

A follower asks if I have ever heard about an affair saving a marriage. "John" says that he has been in a dead bedroom relationship for a while, tried all kinds to rekindle his marriage, but it wasn't until he actually stepped outside of his marriage that things seem to improve. Interesting! Let's talk about it. You can submit your own question to Ralph/DSO here: https://dadstartingover.com/dear-dso

Something a little different for the Dad Starting Over world! I had the pleasure of chatting with one of my favorite business people, Daniel Priestley. Daniel is an entrepreneur, best-selling author and international speaker. Starting with nothing, he built successful multi-million dollar businesses in Australia, UK and Singapore.Daniel and I chat about entrepreneurship and all the opportunities that are available to men out there who are looking to start up their own business.Learn more about Daniel: https://danielpriestley.com/

It seems that everyone and their cousin has sent me the link to this video! This is a clip from a UK television show where a therapist sits down with a VERY typical dead bedroom couple. He wants more. She is too overwhelmed and busy with the new baby. As always, they both have a point. The man is completely clueless about how his old game plan for getting physical intimacy is done (just show up), and the wife doesn't realize that actual work is needed to stay connected as a couple. It's ok to prioritize your relationship.

As they often say, stereotypes don't just fall from the sky. The whole notion of "my wife changed as soon as we got married" is not the NORM, but it's certainly not unheard of.For most of the men that I talk to, their stories of "my wife completely changed" usually involves marriage, cohabitation, years together, kids, stress, jobs... you know, all the normal life stuff that can really CHANGE a person. BUT, for some guys and gals, their partner absolutely changed on the day of the wedding. As soon as things got "real", the person they know and loved just shut down completely. That's when they realized, "Oh, this person was not marriage material." This person thrives in uncertainty and chaos. These are the women that jump from bad boy to bad boy. These are the guys that run to prostitutes and alcohol. Their childhood baggage is such that seeing "normal" scares the crap out of them.

With the loosening of social mores and a broader acceptance of casual physical intimacy, especially in younger adults, it's not a surprise that these relatively new worlds and opinions may collide with more "traditional" monogamous people. When those with "high body counts" try to enter into the world of strict monogamy, they are sometimes outright rejected because of their past behavior... and this hurts feelings! Is a high body count indicative of mental issues? Compulsive/impulsive tendencies? Does it have zero effect on their ability to maintain a marriage to one person for life?

Dr. Psych Mom and I do an impromptu live chat for our social media followers on October 5, 2023. We had a great discussion and lots of great questions from the viewers. Give it a listen!

Heather Ray is a licensed Sexologist based in Texas, but she is able to help clients from all fifty states. Click here to learn more about Heather Ray and her services.In this interview, we talk about everything from her own dead bedroom marriage to an older man, her physical transformation, her second divorce, and her experience working with clients that are trying to repair the sexual intimacy within their marriages. Thank you for your time, Heather!

This is a recording of a live DSO Fraternity meeting that was held on October 4, 2023. We opened this meeting to the public and had some great conversations! Click here to learn more about the DSO Fraternity.

From Scharzad's website: "After 25 years of marriage, Schahrzad Morgan, mother of three, files for divorce and embarks on a powerful journey of desire, love and sexual liberation. Since then, her views on sex have inspired people around the world. Ms. Morgan has a B.S. in Computer Science from the University of Nebraska - Omaha, and an MBA from Arizona State University-West. She was born in Düsseldorf, Germany, and moved to Omaha, Nebraska as a child. She practices Transcendental Meditation, speaks German and Farsi, and enjoys pilates, friends, good food and wine, and being outdoors. She is single and lives in San Diego, California."

"Women need an emotional connection" -- How many times have we heard this? Is it true? Do women absolutely NEED that deeper emotional connection in order to experience true sexual desire? Let's ask our friend Dr. Psych Mom.

In this episode, I pontificate about how time carries on with or without us, how change is inevitable, and my recent trip to Germany.

DSO and DPM tackle a popular topic: What happens to the average woman's libido after marriage?IMPORTANT LINKS:https://www.liinks.co/dadstartingoverFOLLOW ME ON💥 Facebook https://facebook.com/dadstartingover💥 TikTok: https://tiktok.com/@dad.starting.over

Here is the recording from the live chat DSO and Dr. Psych Mom did for Facebook and Youtube on 6/16/23. Enjoy!Dad Starting OverThe DSO FraternityDr. Psych Mom

Here is a recording of the TikTok Live that I (DSO) and Dr. Psych Mom did on May 19. We chat about a variety of different topics that we hear about from our clients. Enjoy!Dad Starting OverDr. Psych Mom

Coach Scott G. sits down with Andrew (DSO Fraternity member) and his wife Sabrina to talk about how they turned their marriage around.Click here to join the DSO Fraternity!

If you follow Dad Starting Over or other male-related relationship talk accounts on social media, you've undoubtedly seen Lauren "The Dadvocate". Lauren has over 1 million followers on TikTok and tens of millions of views across all of social media. She puts out a wonderful pro-men message that connects with lots of guys.I'm so glad to have finally met Lauren, and I look forward to future collaborations.The Dadvocate WebsiteDadvocate on TiktokDad Starting OverThe Dead Bedroom FixDivorce Panic

What a great chat! Our own coach Scottie G and Coach Gus get together and talk about Gus' story and what brought him to the world of Dad Starting Over. This is the type of audio that is available to our DSO Fraternity members. We have over 400 hours of meeting audio recorded and archived for our members.Work with Coach GusWork with Coach Scott G.Join the DSO Fraternity and get lots of great benefits, including discounts on coaching!

Mrs. DSO is back on the podcast and she and I sit to talk about all kinds of good stuff. Video of our conversation is available to our DSO Fraternity members. Click here to join today!

What do I often hear from men? "Ever since we had kids, my wife has become SUPER anxious. She seems way too involved in the kids' lives. She is constantly worrying about them and almost seems addicted to being a mom. Everything about her life revolves around the kids." Sound familiar? This one is for you.Dad Starting OverThe DSO Fraternity

Once again, we conducted an open meeting for the public to come in and learn more about our private group we call the DSO Fraternity.

I had another opportunity to chat with our very own Coach Vance - the PhD fitness and health expert and member of the DSO Fraternity coaching team. In this episode, we chat about the complicated topic of working out.

If you're familiar with the world of "relationship talk for men," then you know Dr. Robert Glover. Considered by many to be the Godfather of the self-help space for men, Dr. Glover has sold MANY copies of his book, "No More Mr. Nice Guy". In this chat, we talk about his popular book, the current state of dating/relationships, and other great stuff. Excellent talk!

My increased exposure online (Tiktok and Facebook Reels) has led to more people coming out of the woodwork to accuse me of being anti-marriage. Here are my thoughts.

From the Dads Dating After Divorce podcast. In this episode, Ralph and Jude sit down to chat with popular author Dr. Shawn T. Smith. Great conversation!

I've been blowing up on TikTok recently. Millions of new people are discovering DSO on the platform. It's dwarfing all of my other social media platforms COMBINED! So, I'm repurposing some of the videos and putting them up here in the podcast. Enjoy!

Dad Starting OverThe DSO FraternityThe Dead Bedroom Fix

The DSO Fraternity

The DSO Fraternity

Manscaped.com - use promo code "DSO"Betterhelp.com/dso

A reader points out that I have married yet another Type-A woman... aren't I afraid she will leave me, too? What was I thinking getting married again??

Dad Starting OverThe DSO FraternityThe Dead Bedroom Fix

Dad Starting OverThe DSO FraternityThe Dead Bedroom Fix

Dad Starting OverThe DSO FraternityThe Dead Bedroom Fix

Dad Starting OverThe DSO FraternityThe Dead Bedroom Fix