135 – The Secret to Success in Music – with Drummer and Career Coach Matt Starr

Do you feel stuck in your music career? Does it seem like no matter what you try you end up in the same place? Don’t worry – there is a way out. In this episode of The New Music Industry Podcast, I talk to drummer and career coach Matt Starr about how he rose through the ranks to establish himself in the music industry. Download the PDF Transcription Podcast Highlights: 00:34 – Matt Starr is in the house! 00:46 – The struggle of becoming a professional musician 13:47 – Your life is not your fault, but it is your responsibility 15:22 – How did you get to the point of working with many known rock stars? 18:55 – Why is networking important? 24:56 – Action 27:12 – The importance of business as it applies to music 31:59 – Knowing your own value 35:52 – How important is coaching? 40:32 – What is The Workbook? 44:13 – What books have helped you on your journey? 48:56 – Closing thoughts Transcription: David Andrew Wiebe: Today I'm chatting with drummer, singer, producer, career coach and public speaker, Matt Starr. How are you today, Matt? Matt Starr: I'm doing great. How are you? David Andrew Wiebe: I'm fine. Thank you for asking. And thank you for joining me today. You know, there's so much we can talk about, but I think one of the first things we should get into is your story. I'm sure you've talked about this lots so not to belabor the point but I would love for you to talk about the struggle of becoming a professional musician. Matt Starr: Yeah, no, I'm happy to talk about it because I think we... I know from when I was a kid, you know, you see somebody who has achieved a certain level of success, and then you assume that, well, they were just born like that, or you only see what they do. You don't see all the times they tried and either 'failed" or all the takes that we do that don't sound so great that don't make it onto the record. And you just assume that oh, well, you know, some people are just born to do this, and maybe I'm not. And so, I saw my first Kiss album at age seven. Scott Cabala lived up the street from me. He was a few years older, and he had some records and Cheap Trick live at Budokan was one, one of my favorite records to this day, Shaun Cassidy Da Doo Run Run, which you know, I like that record too. I have to admit. It's not quite, you know, as edgy as I like, but just some cool stuff. But when I saw Kiss Alive II picture of jeans and blood, and you open up the inside, and there's flames and sparks. It just blew my mind. I wasn't thinking about career or even about being a musician. I just was mesmerized by that world that they created. And I knew that world, whatever that is, whatever these guys are doing, I just want to be in there. That feeling never went away. So, looking back, as I've gotten older, I realized that was really a divine moment and such a blessing because I knew tons of people in high school. I said, "What are you going to do when you get out of high school? Like, "Well, I don't know. I'm going to go to college." And like, "Oh, what? I don't know. I got to figure it out." I'm thinking, well, you're going to spend all your parent’s money, go away for four years and invest into something that you're not... you don't even know what you're passionate about. And so, that was a gift that I knew that at age seven, even if I didn't know exactly what it was, but I knew like the feeling that I got, and nothing else ever gave me that same feeling. And so, I started playing in six-grade. I had a band in junior high. We played the local talent shows. We actually won a battle of the bands by playing a Judas Priest cover, so go figure. But we had a lot of fun. We just wanted to be great. And we would go... I was born in 1970 so we were going to concerts by Kiss, Twisted Sister, AC DC, Iron Maiden. So, we were going to see them at the local arena, Harvard Civic Center in our town, watching these guys and we would watch Alive perform. We would watch how they paced the set, how they came out, if they did encores, where they placed the guitar solos, you know all this stuff. Enjoying it as fans but really like being objective about it too. I always had an eye on... I'm always a fan and I still am but I was also looking at the behind the scenes and kind of trying to understand how did they make this thing work. So, did that. I actually moved to LA for one year in my early 20s. I didn't like it. I didn't understand it. I didn't know how to get along with people. I was used to being in a big fish in a small pond back in Connecticut where I grew up. So consequently, I went back home. And then I got into the scenario that a lot of guys have gotten into, which is I was making a living playing music but I was not living my dreams. I was playing covers. I was playing in bars and we were having fun, making music, making girls, drinking and all that stuff but that really wasn't what I wanted to be doing. That wasn't where my heart laid. That went on for three years and then I moved back out to Los Angeles in 2002. I played drums for a little bit with some artists. I played with Kevin Dubrow from Quiet Riot, started a band called Hookers and Blow with Izzy from Guns and Roses, and Alex Grossi who's now with Quiet Riot. Play with a band called Beautiful Creatures. So, I did some stuff of note but I had the bug to go back to singing which I had done previously. And so, then I started a band again. We almost had a record deal, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, but it didn't happen. And I came up I was about 38. I was at the time singing for a band that was playing Vegas. I was playing one show a week and paying all my bills so that again was, it was great, but it wasn't what I wanted to be doing. And so, it was kind of a kind of mess on my mind because I said, okay, I'm making money. I don't have to work a day job. I'm playing music. I'm having fun, but it's not fulfilling. I look back and that was kind of the scenario for a good part of my life where I hadn't gotten real with myself. I just figured it would happen. It would just happen just because I wanted it and I was working hard. Right? And that I was talented. And so, I figured I got all the pieces but it didn't work. And so, I talked to a lot of guys and they say... I wanted to do coaching with you because I asked people that were more successful than me for advice and they said, just keep doing it. Just get out there and play, do a good job, and work hard and things will happen. Well, that's what I was doing but that was not happening. So, I had to get clinical on it and figure out what was I doing wrong? What was I not doing much right? You know what I mean? I had a high standard for my performance. So that was good but the rest of the stuff was not. So, I made up my mind what I wanted to do. I wrote out what I wanted my life to look like. I wrote out what quality of life I wanted to have, and then reverse engineered it. My wife and I did this together and said, "Okay, we want to have all these things in our lives. How much does this cost?" And we were kind of astonished to find the number that we would have to be making every year to live like this. But I said, "Well, that's what I want." You know, that's what I want. But we got real. We didn't just... It wasn't, you know. What I teach is a combination of dreaming and thinking big, and then also doing the realistic work. Right? So, you got your head in your clouds, but you got your feet on the ground. And so, we got real about that number and started asking, what does that look like and how do we make this a physical reality? So, what I started doing was I quit the Vegas gig, which I would not recommend. If you have a situation where you are not feeling fulfilled or something else. But if that situation is paying all your bills, unless you were being abused in some way, do not quit. But I wanted to take action and so I thought, "Okay. Well, the first action I'll do is get all this stuff out of my life that I don't want." Well, I did want to pay my bills, though. But I let this go. And then I'm like, "Oh, my God." I freaked out. Right? So that's a lot of times what we do, you know, we think we're going to take an action towards a dream, but actually, we're cutting something out. At times it can be helpful but we need to recognize what's working just for the time being. And so, I did that. It soon turned into a panic. And then I was just out every single night in Los Angeles. So had lots of opportunities to connect with all of the people that are further along than I was. I would reach out to them, connect with them in any way I could. And some of these relationships have taken years to get a lunch, you know, to get a coffee, to sit down and talk to somebody. Others happened a little more quickly. A lot of these people have become friends, genuine friends. The rest of them are acquaintances, and "Hey, man, how are you?" "Good. How's it going?" "Oh, great." "Good to see you, brother." "Oh, you too, man." "Okay." Like that kind of thing. A couple of people didn't get back to me but eventually everybody did. Or I would reach out to somebody for like a year and then I'd see them and they go, "Oh, man, you've been emailing me, bro. I'm so sorry. I didn't get back to you." But what we do in our heads is, "Oh, this guy hates me." even though they don't know you. This guy doesn't want to be bothered. I'm annoying him. I'm inconveniencing him with my existence, you know, all that stuff. And so, those are the things that I realized I had to walk through with my mindset, my own discomfort. I found myself in a lot of situations where I was not comfortable. It was a good thing, where in the past, if something was uncomfortable, I try and get away from it. And so, I found myself standing in a circle with Chad Smith (drummer for the chili peppers), Steven Perkins (drummer for Jane's Addiction), Kenny Aronoff (drummer for kind of everybody). And one other guy, it was Matt Sorum.