NVC – Connecting compassionately with ourselves

Here’s a quote from Dr. Marshall Rosenberg’s book, Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Life, that sums up Connecting Compassionately With Ourselves: “When we are internally violent towards ourselves, it is difficult to be genuinely compassionate towards others.” To exercise self-compassion we can evaluate ourselves in ways that promote growth instead of self-hatred. 

When we have been less than perfect, we can focus on a desire to enrich life for ourselves and others rather than to shame or guilt-trip ourselves. We can avoid “shoulding” ourselves.

We can recognize judgmental self-talk when it happens and then quickly focus our attention on underlying needs that may not have been met. Feelings and unmet needs may have stimulated past actions which we now regret.

When we acknowledge that possibility, we can better exercise self-forgiveness. 

Going forward, we can then be conscious of what need is being served by the choices we make.

Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at [email protected]! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.

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