Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic with Jon Seidl

“Forgiveness is not the goal of salvation. Fellowship with God is the goal of salvation.” Think about that for a second. I had to. That’s how Kyle Worley reframes the Gospel in his new book, Home with God. And at first glance, it may seem...odd. Because so many of us think salvation is mainly about getting our sins forgiven so we can go to heaven. But Kyle rightly blows that up. Instead, he explains that forgiveness is just the doorway. The real point of salvation is life with God, not just in the future but here and now. In other words, life is about abiding with Christ. And as I've come to find out, that is crucial to recovering from any addiction.  In this conversation, Kyle—pastor, theologian, and author—helps us rethink salvation, grace, and identity. We talk about why forgiveness isn’t the finish line, why grace feels so disruptive, and how union with Christ resets the “broken compass” of our desires. If you’ve ever wondered what it really means to be saved, or felt like you were stuck chasing performance, this episode will reframe the story: salvation is about coming home. Again and again and again. We explore:  —Why salvation is about fellowship, not just forgiveness—How identity in Christ reshapes recovery and freedom—The difference between behavior change and true transformation—Why grace feels disruptive and hard to receive—How Kyle counsels addicts through union with Christ—The “broken compass” of desire and how Christ reorients it—Faith as agreement, affection, and allegiance—How attention and desire shape the people we become—Why repentance is more than reflection—The Heidelberg Catechism and the comfort of not belonging to yourself Books: Home with God and Formed for Fellowship Website: kyleworley.net Newsletter: Sacred Slang Instagram: @kyleworley Podcast: Knowing Faith Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“There’s a part of you that drinks and a part of you that doesn’t—and that doesn’t make you crazy. That makes you human.” What happens when your faith says one thing and your actions say another? And what do you do when the coping mechanisms that once helped you survive start controlling you? That’s where today’s conversation lives—right in the messy space where faith and psychology meet, and it answers the question, "Why do I do the things I don't want to do?" Dr. Alison Cook is a Christian therapist and the author of two incredible books that were monumental in my own addiction recovery: Boundaries for Your Soul and I Shouldn’t Feel This Way. In this episode of "Confessions," Alison talks about how parts of ourselves can be both hurting and helping, how to hold compassion without coddling, cognitive dissonance, and why curiosity—not shame—is what truly leads to transformation. We also explore spiritual bypassing, the New Testament idea of sozo (salvation/healing), and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us make sense of the parts of us that manage, protect, and sometimes reach for the “firehose” when pain flares up.  If you’ve ever been disgusted by your own actions, but are ready to stop beating yourself up, you'll want to listen. We explore:  —Why Christians often experience cognitive dissonance but don’t know how to name it—What Internal Family Systems (IFS) is and how it helps you understand yourself—How to tell the difference between healthy coping and numbing—The concept of “firefighters,” “managers,” and “exiles” inside your internal system—Why spiritual bypassing is so common in the church—How trauma gets buried and drives our behavior—What Scripture really means by “salvation” (sozo)—The link between addiction and unprocessed pain—Why medication can be a gift of common grace—How Jacob’s limp and new name point to a holy, healed identity Books: Boundaries for Your Soul and I Shouldn't Feel This Way Website: dralisoncook.com Instagram: @dralisoncook Podcast: The Best of You Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“There are really only two kinds of people in this world—people in recovery who know they are, and people in recovery who think they're not.” Tullian Tchividjian was on top of the Christian world. A bestselling author, megachurch pastor, sought-after speaker—and yes, the grandson of Billy Graham. Then everything imploded.  After a very public affair and ministry collapse, Tullian disappeared from the spotlight. But it was in that wilderness season that he encountered something deeper than the shame that threatened to kill him and the people that tried to bury him: the radical, scandalous grace of God. In this vulnerable, raw, and hope-filled episode, Tullian talks about what it’s like to fall hard and yet be caught by Jesus. He opens up about his story, shame, addiction, recovery (even for those not struggling with substances), the church's response to sanctification, and what happens when you build your life on performance. This is an episode about honesty, identity, and why real Christianity might look more like a 12-step meeting than a church service. If you've ever wrestled with shame, questioned your standing with God, or wondered if there's grace for "someone like you," this episode is for you. We explore: —How Tullian went from prodigal to pastor to pariah—Why the church often runs from grace instead of toward it—The difference between guilt and shame—and why identity matters—Why grace isn't soft on sin but the only real power to change—What radical vulnerability looks like in practice—Why churches should look more like recovery meetings—The lifelong nature of recovery, even without substance addiction—How grace makes us honest, and law keeps us hiding—Why sanctification isn’t about climbing higher but falling deeper into grace—The gift of being "uncancellable" through confession and grace Book: Carnage and Grace Website: tullian.net Instagram: @tulliantch Church: The Sanctuary Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Silence isn’t honor.” Think about that phrase for a second. How many times have we believed the opposite, or been led to believe the opposite? Those words come from Gina Birkemeier. Gina is a licensed professional counselor, speaker, and the author of Generations Deep, one of the best books you'll ever read on breaking generational trauma. She’s also someone who has lived through—and broken—the very cycles we often feel trapped by. In this important episode of the Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic podcast, we explore how trauma gets passed down through our genes (it does in a fascinating way!), how to recognize those inherited wounds, and how to actually start the healing process—both for yourself and the generations after you. We dive deep into epigenetics, legacy burdens, and the truth behind phrases like "generational curses" and even "blood is thicker than water." (Did you realize that phrase doesn't mean what you think it means?) We also talk about how men and women often deal with trauma differently, why emotionally corrective experiences matter so much, and how to hold compassion and boundaries at the same time. This episode is especially helpful for anyone who has experienced the same traumas or addictions popping up in their family tree time and time again. (And for those who want to be cycle-breakers.) We explore: —Why trauma isn’t just “big T” trauma like abuse, but includes subtle attachment wounds—How unhealed pain gets passed down through generations (and genes)—What epigenetics is and why it matters for recovery—How legacy burdens shape our identity, even when we don’t recognize them—The truth behind “blood is thicker than water” (hint: we’ve had it wrong)—How EMDR and IFS therapy can unlock healing—Why emotionally corrective experiences are vital—and how to spot them—The difference in how men and women process trauma—What to do when you’ve already had kids and want to stop the cycle—How to set boundaries with family without bitterness or rage Website: ginabirkemeier.com Instagram: @myoutloudvoice Book: Generations Deep: Unmasking Inherited Dysfunction and Trauma to Rewrite Our Stories Through Faith and Therapy Follow Jon: @jonseidl Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“It doesn’t happen overnight. Just small little incremental concessions.” That’s how Bill Seymour describes his descent into alcoholism—one slow slide at a time. Bill didn’t grow up in chaos. He wasn’t trying to escape trauma. He was raised in a Christian home, went to church every Sunday, married his high school sweetheart, and built a successful creative agency. But along the way—through cul-de-sac drinking culture, ego, stress, and hiding—he lost his marriage, his connection with his kids, and nearly his life. In this raw, reflective, and redemptive episode, Bill shares how drinking slowly consumed everything that mattered to him—and how God broke through when nothing else could. He talks about going from a picture-perfect life to drinking alone in the dark, spending Memorial Day weekend in a psych ward, and hearing the Holy Spirit in a counselor’s office. This is a story of consequences, but it’s also a story of grace, second chances, and surrender. And how Jesus is at the center of it all. If you’ve ever wondered how someone gets to the point of losing it all—or how they start rebuilding when it feels like it’s too late—this episode will hit home. We explore: —How alcohol quietly took over Bill’s life despite a strong Christian upbringing—The role of social drinking, ego, and work culture in his spiral—Why suburban drinking culture can be just as dangerous as partying—The moment his wife filed for divorce and everything unraveled—What it felt like to be estranged from his daughter—The night he heard himself say the words: “It’s the drinking”—How he went from rehab to redemption—without rewriting the truth—Why his kids are now watching him make amends, and how he shows up sober—The quiet, slow miracle of rebuilding a life with purpose—Why Jesus—not just sobriety—is at the center of it all Read Bill's writing: Wilderness Tested Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

"You can’t hate yourself healthy." That’s the kind of line that sticks with you—not just because it’s catchy, but because it’s true. And for Erin Jean Warde, it was the truth that changed everything. In this episode, I sit down with Erin—an ordained Episcopal priest, recovery coach, and author of Sober Spirituality—to talk about what it looks like to build a mindful relationship with alcohol. Erin didn’t crash her car. She didn’t destroy her life. But she knew something wasn’t right. So she listened to the nudge of the Holy Spirit and started to explore what life could look like without drinking—and what she found was joy, creativity, clarity, and deep healing. This is a conversation about identity, escapism, and the quiet conviction that comes before the crisis. And how a misordered relationship with alcohol isn't a conservative Christian problem or a progressive Christian problem—it's a universal problem.  We explore: —Why mindfulness matters more than rigid categories—The danger of finding your identity in alcohol—Why progressive and conservative Christians both normalize drinking—How escapism fuels addiction (even when you’re physically present)—What neuroscience taught Erin about anxiety, depression, and alcohol—How marketing targets moms and women with deceptive alcohol messaging—The difference between “treating yourself” and truly resting—Why you don’t have to wait for a wake-up call to get curious—How sobriety opened up creativity, healing, and deep spiritual intimacy—What it means to respond to the Holy Spirit in love—not shame Website: erinjeanwarde.com Book: Sober Spirituality: The Joy of a Mindful Relationship with Alcohol Substack: Erin Jean Warde on Substack Instagram: @erinjeanwarde Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“If alcohol is costing you your peace, it’s too expensive.” That idea is what helped Christy Osborne realize she needed to change her relationship with alcohol. Christy didn’t end up in jail. She didn’t wreck her marriage. She wasn’t waking up every morning with the shakes. From the outside, she looked like a thriving mom living the perfect life in London. But internally, she was anxious, ashamed, and starting to realize that alcohol wasn’t helping her anymore—instead it was slowly stealing her peace. In this episode, Christy shares a story that is likely familiar with many: someone whose problem drinking didn't look like the movies, but still needed to change. She explains how she broke free from what she calls gray area drinking, learned to process the grief of losing her mom in a healthy way, and how she chose to walk a new path rooted in neuroscience, grace, and faith. She opens up about grieving her alcohol identity, letting go of the “fun mom” persona, and how she now helps women walk through 40 days of grace-filled sobriety through her coaching practice and devotional book Love Life Sober. If you're feeling that "check" inside you, but don't feel like you fit into the traditional category of "alcoholic," this episode will speak to you. We explore:—What gray area drinking really is (and why it’s so common)—Christy’s experience as a high-achieving woman hiding in plain sight—The influence of her mother’s values and example—How alcohol disrupts brain chemistry and emotional regulation—The spiritual tension of being a Christian who drinks—Why you don’t need to hit rock bottom to quit—How grief and stress can trigger a return to old habits—The 40-day framework Christy uses to help women reset—How visualization and mindset work help rewire the brain—What she’s learned coaching hundreds of women through sobriety Get Christy's resources here. Listen to the “But Jesus Drank Wine” podcast Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“There is another side. You might not see it yet—but it’s there, and it’s better than you think.” What a line from this week's “Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic” podcast guest, Kristen Bear. Because that’s what this conversation is really about: building something new from the ruins on the other side of what was. Kristen is a model, actress, and creative coach who chased success in LA and NYC while numbing herself with alcohol. She believed drinking gave her an edge, helped her cope with trauma, and kept her fun. But all it did was bury the girl God created her to be. In this raw and redemptive episode, Kristen shares her story of addiction, identity, and coming home to herself. We talk about the lie that alcohol makes you more creative, the trap of performing your way through pain, and how facing her past instead of numbing it changed everything. She also shares the four pillars of her Creative Sobriety Academy, how the non-alcoholic beverage world has exploded, and why we get to rewrite our story—again and again. This episode is for anyone who’s convinced that alcohol is the only thing keeping them sane—or creative—or lovable. Kristen’s story proves that the opposite is true. Sobriety doesn’t strip you of your power. It sets it free. We explore:—Kristen’s early dreams, creative career, and hidden trauma—How alcohol became her way of escaping shame and insecurity—The illusion of being “high-functioning” while privately unraveling—Why she believed alcohol made her more creative—and how sobriety proved her wrong—The truth about mental health meds and alcohol—Her “illumination moment” and how she knew she was done—The power of writing to process pain and break shame—Returning to New York City sober and rewriting that part of her story—How holidays, nostalgia, and identity change in sobriety—The four pillars of her Creative Sobriety Academy—Why the non-alcoholic beverage space is booming—and her favorite picks Kristen's blog: Creative Sobriety Kristen's website: creativesobriety.co Follow Kristen: Instagram Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“I used to be so pissed that I’m an addict. And now I’m so grateful that I am.” That’s from Blake Roberts, a licensed therapist, writer, and someone who has walked his own road of addiction and healing. In this episode, we dive deep into his story—particularly his struggles with porn and sex addiction—and why he believes recovery is about so much more than just not drinking, not watching, or not acting out. Blake opens up about his early exposure to sex and substance use, the generational patterns that shaped him, and the moment therapy finally gave him the language and space to name what was really going on. We talk about the importance of language (why he doesn’t always say “I’m a sex addict”), how Internal Family Systems (IFS) gave him a whole new way to view addiction, and why even “moderate” alcohol use was still functioning as an escape for him—and thus why he gave it up. If you’ve ever struggled to understand your own behavior, felt like you didn’t fit the typical “addict” mold, or wanted to know what recovery looks like when it’s rooted in grace and curiosity instead of shame, this episode will hit home. We explore:—Blake’s story of addiction, secrecy, and growing up in dysfunction—Why 12-step recovery was helpful… until it wasn’t—The difference between sobriety and true recovery—How Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy reframed his addiction—Why he says “a part of me is addicted to sex” instead of “I’m a sex addict”—The role his wife played in naming his problematic relationship with alcohol—Why escaping—even subtly—is still escaping—The power of curiosity and compassion in healing—The orchestra metaphor for IFS and living in harmony with your whole self—What it means to be 97% known—and why that’s not enough Blake's Substack: More to the Story Blake's podcast: 3% Podcast Blake's website: blakerobertscounseling.com Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Prayer can come before belief.” That’s the lesson that stopped me in my tracks. In this second conversation with Dr. Lisa Stanton—yes, the first-ever repeat guest on the “Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic” podcast—we go even deeper into her story, her recovery, and her brand-new book 52 Life-Changing Lessons I Learned in Recovery. Lisa doesn’t hold back. She talks about everything from leaving voicemails for God because she didn’t know how to pray, to the one line in her book that I haven’t stopped thinking about since I read it: “Another day of sobriety is the wrong goal.” This episode isn’t about pat answers or spiritual clichés. It’s about showing up—broken, angry, uncertain—and still choosing to reach out to a God you’re not even sure you believe in yet. We talk about what real faith looks like, the difference between venting and confessing, and why self-love may not be the answer we've been sold. If you’ve ever felt stuck in your recovery, tired in your faith, or unsure if God’s even listening, this one’s for you. It’s for everyone, not just those that have struggled with addiction. We explore: — Favorite lessons from Lisa’s book, including “prayer can come before belief” —The Google Voice hack: leaving God voicemails when prayer feels empty —Why belief ≠ faith—and how to cultivate an interactional relationship with God —The hidden problem with church and recovery meetings —Why aiming for “another day sober” often backfires—and what true goals look like —The unforgettable “blue truck” story and what it teaches us —Redefining self-love —The key difference between venting emotions and true confession Subscribe to Lisa's newsletter: Things on My Heart Get her book: 52 Life Lessons I Learned in Recovery Follow Lisa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlisastanton  Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“My intellect was my greatest obstacle to getting sober.” Dr. Lisa Stanton is the brilliant doctor who made a lot of bad choices. In some ways, she was too smart for her own good. Too smart to get sober, as she says. Until it all caught up with her. In this honest conversation, she opens up about her spiral into alcoholism that began in high school and accelerated through college and into getting her PhD. She details an eating disorder, perfectionism, trauma, and the endless quest for approval. Lisa’s credentials are impressive—PhD in social psychology, researcher, author—but they masked a painful, chaotic double life. And yet, this is not a story of defeat. It’s one of grace and how Jesus meets us in our darkest moments. We talk about family dynamics, childhood trauma, substance abuse, forgiveness, and the unique intersection of female addiction and sexual approval. Most importantly, we talk about Jesus—and what happens when the head finally surrenders to the heart. Don't miss this one. And be sure to come back next week for part two, where we explore Lisa’s practical tools for recovery and the lessons that changed her life. We explore: —Growing up with perfectionism and emotional bypassing—Her first drink: 12 ounces of whiskey measured in a Pyrex cup—Blackout Lisa vs. perfect Lisa: a life of hidden chaos—The trauma of sexual approval and body image issues—Academic achievement as a mask for addiction—The power of accountability and confession—The five-day binge that led to a spiritual breaking point—How Jesus used a crucifix in a Catholic church to meet her—Why sobriety alone isn’t enough—and what true healing takes Subscribe to Lisa's newsletter: Things on My Heart Get her book: 52 Life Lessons I Learned in Recovery Follow Lisa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlisastanton  Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the new book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“Your brain is actively rewiring itself every second. The question is: Will you do it on purpose?” That’s from my fascinating conversation with Dr. Lee Warren. Dr. Lee isn’t just a neurosurgeon—he’s a husband, father, Iraq War veteran, and grieving dad who lost his 19-year-old son in a tragic and mysterious death. He’s also one of the most compelling voices today on how faith and neuroscience intersect to transform your life. In this episode, I talk to Dr. Lee about the mind-blowing science of neuroplasticity, what it means to “do self-brain surgery,” the science behind the Bible’s commands regarding our thinking, and how trauma—if we let it—can either define us or refine us. Dr. Lee opens up about surviving more than 100 mortar attacks during the Iraq War, his battle with PTSD, and how he and his wife Lisa rebuilt their lives (and faith) after the unimaginable loss of their son. But this isn’t just a story of suffering. It’s a story of redemption. It’s a masterclass in how to find hope again—even after the worst day of your life. And it’s essential for anyone who has been told to “renew your mind” but never felt like that mandate came with any how-to instructions. We explore: —The night Dr. Lee got caught outside in a mortar attack with no gear —What PTSD taught him about unprocessed trauma and healing —Losing his 19-year-old son—and how that reshaped his faith —Why the brain can literally change based on what you choose to think about —How Scripture aligns with neuroscience on anxiety, gratitude, and transformation—The connection between addiction, neuroplasticity, and the lies we believe —The principle of “loss to legacy” and how suffering can become ministry Subscribe to Dr. Lee’s newsletter: drleewarren.substack.com Listen to the Self-Brain Surgery podcast Get Dr. Lee’s books Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

"Alcohol was the only relationship I could count on." That’s how Kristi Tanner described her relationship with alcohol, which led to two DUIs in three days over the Fourth of July weekend. It also led to a host of other problems. In this deeply emotional and radically vulnerable conversation, Kristi—also known as the Mocktail Mommy on Instagram—talks about addiction, motherhood, mental health, and why she decided to open Wisconsin’s very first non-alcoholic bottle shop. We dive into Kristi’s chaotic journey—from partying through college and motherhood, to blacking out at a neighborhood party with a newborn, to being arrested on the side of a highway in Indiana. But more importantly, we explore what happened after that: how Kristi rebuilt her life, learned to grieve the loss of alcohol as a “friend,” and now lives a life that’s not just sober, but happily so. This episode is for anyone who's ever whispered, “I don’t know if I can do this”—and anyone who loves someone who has. We explore: —Growing up around normalized drinking and how that shaped Kristi’s views —The drinking culture in Wisconsin, and why Kristi calls it “ground zero” —How becoming a mom amplified her alcohol use —What led to two DUIs in 72 hours and her emotional retelling of the story —The grief of letting go of alcohol as a "friend" —Choosing to stay sober after divorce —Building a life of autonomy, joy, and purpose in sobriety —Starting “Mocktail Mommy” and founding the first NA bottle shop in Wisconsin Follow Kristi: https://www.instagram.com/mocktailmommy  Visit her store: sobersocialshop.com  Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

“When you stare into the abyss, don’t be shocked at what stares back at you.” That’s how I open this powerful episode, and it couldn’t be more fitting. This week, I sit down with deep thinker, theologian, and recovering alcoholic Griffin Gooch—whose journey into addiction began not with trauma or peer pressure, but with an overwhelming sense of meaninglessness. A nihilist by 13, Griffin plunged into alcohol in a desperate attempt to numb the philosophical weight of a broken world. But it was in a jail cell—after multiple OWIs—that he finally encountered the God who battles emptiness. In this deep conversation, Griffin opens up about why alcohol stuck when other drugs didn’t, how his analytical mind became both a curse and a calling, and how community, confession, and spiritual rhythms have sustained him in sobriety. Whether you're an overthinker, an academic, or someone silently struggling, Griffin's story reminds us that even intellectual doubt and existential dread aren’t beyond the reach of Christ's healing. We explore: —How Griffin embraced nihilism and atheism by age 13 —Why alcohol became his drug of choice over harder substances —The jailhouse encounter with Jesus that changed everything —What it means to numb philosophical and existential anguish —Why sobriety has been a long and non-linear journey —The role of community, confession, and spiritual discipline in recovery —Whether full abstinence is necessary for every Christian struggling with alcohol —How changing your system—not just your willpower—leads to real transformation Follow Griffin: https://www.instagram.com/griffingooch97/ Explore Griffin's writing: https://griffingooch.substack.com Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

"Mommy needs a drink."  It's become an all too popular refrain. Go to any Home Goods store or flea market, and you'll find the signs, hand towels, and artwork that declares that not only do moms need a drink, but they deserve a drink. That's the trap that Jenn fell into as she was raising her children. And today, she's doing all she can to expose the dangers and lies of mommy wine culture.  In this important episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, I sit down with my friend Jenn Kautsch, founder of the popular Sober Sis community. We unpack the subtle but destructive influence of "mommy wine culture," what it means to be a gray area drinker, and how Jenn’s life began to unravel—quietly and internally—even while she was doing all the “right” things as a church-going, high-performing mom. In fact, she had even served on staff of the Christian organization Cru (formerly Campus Crusade for Christ).  Jenn shares her story with honesty and grace, from her first glass of white zin to what she calls the “bottle breakdown.” We talk about how she went from hiding her anxiety and drinking behind a well-curated Christian life to becoming a leader and voice of freedom for thousands of women. Her insights into perfectionism, identity, and internal family systems (IFS) therapy are incredibly powerful. We explore: The rise and lies of mommy wine culture The trap of being a “high-functioning” drinker How gray area drinking can differ from the traditional understanding of alcoholism Why slipping doesn’t mean sliding What it looks like to live a divided mind—and how to begin healing How Sober Sis is creating a shame-free space for sober-minded women Whether you’re curious about your own relationship with alcohol, navigating shame, or just trying to live more whole and present, this conversation will speak to you. Jenn’s wisdom, warmth, and humor make this such a fun episode. Follow Jenn: https://www.instagram.com/sobersis. Explore the Sober Sis community: https://sobersis.com.  Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/. Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Watch this episode and get daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Brenton Sconce had the life he thought he wanted. After serving in the church, he finally got the chance to lead his own. Life was good. Until it wasn't.  After leading his new congregation through COVID, it quickly became evident that there was unrest and he wasn't the fit he thought he was. So he pulled the plug and moved back home with his wife and child. Pretty quickly, the feelings of failure set in and his drinking picked up. And up. And up. Until he was stopping at the gas station in the morning just to have a few tall boys before he started his day. And that was just the beginning. One day, he found himself rummaging through his wife's purse for change to support his habit. And after lying about it, he finally realized he needed help.  In this emotional episode of "Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic," Brenton tells his full story—from an early divorce, to pastor, to alcoholic, and eventually to rehab. He explains the struggles he faced as a pastor dealing with addiction, the importance of community and accountability in recovery, and how his identity played a significant role in his relationship with alcohol. He also emphasizes the need for vulnerability and outlines how the church can respond to addiction and the those Christians struggling with vices. And he ultimately reminds us that no one is immune from addiction—not even a pastor. Today, Brenton is working on a non-profit to help those struggling, is raising money for a rehab facility scholarship, and runs the incredibly funny Instagram account, Office Recovery. Follow Brenton: https://www.instagram.com/officerecovery/. Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/. Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com. Get show updates and daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com  Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Caroline Beidler still vividly remembers cracking open her first beer under a big oak tree. She was 11. In this episode of Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic, host Jon Seidl sits down with Beidler—managing editor of recovery.com, author, and addiction recovery advocate—to explore her powerful story of childhood trauma, early addiction, spiritual awakening, relapse, and ultimate restoration through faith and community. Together they unpack: —How a single beer at age 11 set Caroline on a path of self-medication through adolescence. —The role of church, baptism at 22, and “spiritual formation” in her sustained sobriety. —What happens when recovery meets relapse—and why “recovery ruined it” for her the second time around. —Jon reveals what he struggles with even more than wanting a drink. —A candid conversation on AA, 12-step recovery programs, and “higher powers.” —Practical strategies for loved ones: from radical vulnerability to setting boundaries. —A sneak peek at Caroline’s book You Are Not Your Trauma. —Advice for family members of those who struggle with addiction. Follow Caroline: https://www.instagram.com/carolinebeidler_official/ or www.carolinebeidler.com Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com Get show updates and daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.com  Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Welcome to the Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic podcast! In the show's first episode, author and host Jon Seidl tells his detailed story of being the Christian who became an alcoholic, not the other way around. It's usually the other way around, isn't it? And the church seems to be OK with those stories, but what about the stories that are messy like Jon's? Like yours? In an effort to break the stigma around addiction, Jon gets radically vulnerable about his personal journey of going from bestselling Christian author, to alcoholic, and then coming back to Jesus. How was he able to finally stop drinking after years of being stuck? What did rock bottom look like? What were the four steps he took to break free? It's all on the inaugural episode. Finally, Jon shares what you can expect from the podcast going forward. From interviews with fellow alcoholics and addicts, to helpful conversations with clinicians and faith leaders like Alison Cook, Curt Thompson, and Chuck DeGroat.  For more on the podcast, to share your own story, and to get equipped with resources visit christianalcoholic.com. Follow Jon: https://www.instagram.com/jonseidl/ Order the book, Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic: www.christianalcoholic.com Get show updates and daily motivation: www.theveritasdaily.comSupport the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

What happens when a bestselling Christian author becomes an alcoholic—not the other way around? Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic is a raw, redemptive podcast hosted by Jon Seidl, based on his powerful book of the same name. This isn’t just about addiction—it’s about the messy middle of faith, trauma, and healing. In each episode, Jon gets radically vulnerable as he shares his own journey through alcoholism, recovery, and ultimately, redemption in Christ. You’ll hear real, unfiltered stories from fellow addicts and alcoholics, as well as insight from professionals in faith, trauma, and recovery. Because the truth is—we’re all addicted to something. This is a space for the hurting, the hopeful, the honest, and yes—the hungover. But more than that, it’s a space for healing. Listen to Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic and discover what happens when grace collides with addiction.Support the Show: https://www.jonseidl.com/ Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.