CALL CHELSEA PERETTI

Chelsea welcomes the delightful Beth Pratt, wildlife advocate, author, and cougar-crossing expert to the stude for a lot of dorking-out about nature with callers (in matching P-22 sweaters). Laughs and darkness abound, per usual.

In this spirited episode, Chelsea cleans her glasses with a sock and reflects upon Heated Rivalry with a group of core callers who are interconnected. Discussion of other topics like: why boomers cannot apologize, ADHD, GLPS, Lyme disease, and honeydew melon.

Extremely detailed crispy mushroom tutorial. The end of originality. Nicolandria salad ad. Catherine Keener comparison. Gentle emotional unraveling.

Carey O’Donnell is back! Matching denim. A repeat surfer caller. Funfetti food test. Spa music. Multiple perspectives on a recent fecal event. Ending with a rousing musical number! Don’t miss it.

Chelsea and Nick discuss hats, cowbirds, Gavin Newsom, and whether slow claps should be banned forever. Also: vegan cheese, Love Island, and the general ache of being alive. A feel-good episode.

Justin Timberlake’s Lyme diagnosis, chamomile lemon cake discourse, grieving a cat who isn’t dead yet, a drag king inquiry, and more. Chelsea emanates love, opines on Threads teasers, and plans to do five planks but only remembers to do two.

Callers call from parking lots and a man shares his journey away from Conservatism. Singing about condiments. Boomer parents. Emotional regulation. A loner surfer indulges a convo about riptides and risotto. Chelsea's triceps are beginning to show minor definition and her eyeliner is far from perfect, which you can see on Patreon.

Chelsea attempts to explore journaling but gets sidetracked by a woman with five kids, a Uber Eats driver actively on a delivery, a toy commercial maker, and more. Food tests are back.

Wearing a shirt she dreamed she wore, Chelsea has a rip roarin time with some excellent callers. A dissection of genres of internet posts. A special ability to aerate hot food, 90s toaster oven nostalgia, a desire to be around smart and nice people, bra surveillance, some dance, some songs, wildly drawn-out courtroom yarn, and finally… A MALE CALLER!!

Chelsea debuts her new career direction as she continues to chase a Pullitzer. An east coast bartender, a mom getting chemo, a literary section, a reflection on blueberries, several calls for help, Costco, and a lot of discontent.

Carey is radicalized by Fire Island and drops multiple Dorinda references in this very special, very chintzy episode. His magical tale of going septic and wearing a stent and purse of antibiotics and subsequent digestive woe. Toenail removal and a discussion of disturbing doctors. A lengthy analysis of sunflowers. Conversely, shocking caller opinions on roses. Carey shares dog perfume tips. An exploration of flat Christina Aguilera karaoke. Many helpful PSAs.

Chelsea chats with a mightily prestigious crop of guests: an opera choreographer with a hot restaurant tip, a pottery buyer who appraises her piece, and a licensed therapist (presumably) who assesses Chelsea. Discussion of vitello tonnato, sand dunes, pottery accounts, mothers day, and underground parking lots. Chelsea's continued attempts at piquing caller interest in escape rooms effectively fails.

Chelsea stands on a cliff in the blustery wind and howls out about hair salon culture, brain rot, writing, boredom, science, explosive news, therapy, love languages, Tate Larae, a brain surgeon and a friend of a friend calls in! A caller celebrates his Fourthcalliversary by negging Chelsea, educating her about basic geography, and soliciting dog custody advice.

Slime and Charcoal chicken obsessed Chelsea and Sabrina freestyle about an upcoming live show endeavor, create TGIF acronyms, argue about chicken soup, discuss color mixing, debt, art, parenting, blah blah blah. Chelsea speaks to some senior who was bullied by a freshman.

Robby Hoffman, who has 9 siblings, throws Chelsea into the perpetual reaction seat with innumerable hot takes, such as: skin care is a scam, washing hands is bad, trans people are fine, ADHD doesn't exist, etc. Chelsea searches for points of connection, like grilled cheese, a mistrust of Nest, a dislike of cut fruit, and thinking flowers are beautiful. A caller does an unauthorized infomercial for a jeweler.

Carmen Christopher joins Chelsea for a chaotic episode full of slime, snacks, and conspiracy theories. They talk about Manson expressions, ADHD vs. meditation, and whether slime could end wars, while Carmen’s mom mistakes Chelsea for Chelsea Handler. There’s water chugging, prank calls, limes full of boogers, and a passionate debate about soup.

Chelsea struggles with restless leg syndrome and on-camera tics while discussing fires, karaoke, crying hangs, Canada's age, AI, shark attacks, ADHD, pottery perfectionism, sinus issues, a long term plan for escaping the algo, going grey, the power of bird song, and Western medicine inflating life expectancy. A caller sings Mariah from a subway platform. An "apolitical" caller from Texas shares about stealing eggs. A caller offers a lifechanging food test. Wolf howls.

patreon.com/callchelseaperetti Chelsea explores ASMR—crunchy snacks, plastic sounds, and the perils of ASMR gatekeeping—while fielding calls on parenting through calamities, AQI confusion, and the fleeting magic of sumo oranges. A caller stuck in traffic gets pulled into an immigration deep dive and sings classical Indian music, Chelsea contemplates the hamster wheel of social media, liberals hating each other, and whether a pig eating Pop Rocks would be the ultimate ASMR. Along the way, she hangs up on an Olympian, questions a possible fart sound, and revisits Beavis & Butthead as a coping mechanism.

A rousing episode recorded before the holidays where Chelsea devises some stellar new acronyms for T.G.I.F. Turkish oil wrestling, unarchiving lost songs for the pod, a truly random person calls in and MORE. See full video for this episode at patreon.com/callchelseaperetti

patreon.com/callchelseaperetti A lady calls from Vegas and we delve into the consequences of the Sphere. Chelsea tries to make her voice melodic and largely fails. A mesmerizing meditation on raccoon feces and deadly oysters. A classic Diddy / Ani convo. Alabama BBQ.

patreon.com/callchelseaperetti Eavesdrop on a gathering of opinionated minds… and mouths… in this very special live anniversary episode of beloved podcast: Call Chelsea Peretti. Shocking audience polls that will leave you shaken to your core. A game! A reading of a letter young CP penned to SNL (and other memorabilia from times of yore). Inflammatory live taste tests. An audience expert on legumes and a woman who has eaten Schav in Minsk. A conclusion that promises to leave a lasting question-mark in your very soul. Special guests Carmen Christopher, Andrea Jin, Sabrina Jalees and Shauna Mccann, round out what is sure to be an absolute classic. WATCH FULL UNCUT VIDEO OF THIS EPISODE AND HEAR ALL EPISODES OF CALL CHELSEA PERETTI EVERY SUNDAY AT patreon.com/callchelseaperetti

Positive-minded yogi Rachel Grant Jackson of Chelsea's collegiate improv troupe "Six Milks" visits the pod on a day in which the coff is particularly a-crankin.

Original airdate: 10.09.2012 In this already classic pilot episode Chelsea takes the temp of her callers: the son of a white supremacist, a weird German dude, a pizza delivery girl, The Kid Mero (her only friend in the Bronx), and more. Debut of Coffee Crankin Thru My Sys song.

In this first CCP ep back as an indie podcast, you will restart your journey and reconnect with your deepest self. Thank you, as always, to the callers and listeners.

Chelsea and her dog discuss squeaky sounds, documentaries (Tell Them You Love Me), Rie Parenting, and assess inventory of how product is moving. Also: gramma impressions, hummingbird asmr, big dogs. A blood pants customer calls to discuss carbon underwear. Chelsea tries to speak italian to the probable great shame of her ancestors.

Aisling Bea (plus 1) comes to reluctantly share her origin story as Chelsea continues to chase a Pulitzer for her intrepid journalistic instincts. Accents! Gigs! Bath calls! Psychics! In this episode Chelsea is told she has uk vibes and is queer-coded. The first Gay Test, sharing makeup, hygiene, 10-2 politics.

Chelsea’s longtime comedy bud Brendon Walsh joins us today! Chat about bad haircuts, being muted, micro-dosing, pants-off therapy, camping, and hanging curtains turns into Moth level storytelling about Brendon’s Philly childhood of pure violence.

Nick Kroll joins the pod to talk to callers on their parents phone plans, take food tests, list allergies, and discuss things like Runyon Canyon lipquids and the smell of rainy school days.

Chelsea is joined by Scott Aukerman and Brendon Walsh for a very special all advertisement pod. Also with: Nick Kroll, Moshe Kasher, Aisling Bea.

A punning Rick Glassman and dazzling Chelsea meet for the first time, scrutinize each others mouth sounds, and discuss misophonic reactions to chip crunchin, ice chompin, and sharp perfumes. Also: Rick’s comfort in lying and lack of self-consciousness, Chelsea’s lack of feeling, the alpha/beta dynamic, Rick’s stand-up secret (act outs), merits of being high, Rick’s troubled left testicle, donuts vrs sundaes, a Chabbat caller bails, Detroit landmarks, a compelling vision of Chelsea on Rick’s podcast.

Todd Glass and Chelsea are reunited for a robust session of selling items with every ounce of their souls.

Hacks writer and Tiktok enthusiast Joe Mande joins for a podcast that takes a neggy turn midway through, culminating in a pizza party! Callers watch TV and walk around creaky environments slamming doors through a discussion of: the Parks N Rec writers room, the societal merits of being a hater, Dave King's debate pod, how to approach celebs, gross social media recipes, fermented foods, babka, and what Joe pickles. Canned peaches girl calls again. A “bewildered” caller tells Chelsea she posts too much and doesnt get enough engagement. Another caller let's Chelsea know that her brother does not like Chelsea. A girl calls Joe: "Chris." A commenter says Joe looks 70. A girl describes her past lives, as explored through meditation. PCP and Fit Shortie. Slash g. Slash s.

Chelsea takes calls & goes through your voicemails, answering all your burning questions about social media resentments, hoarders, rejection, crushes, adult friendship, spontaneity lovers versus planners, family movies, celeb friends, rattlesnakes and other predator animals in cities, travel, coffee quitters, trinkets and gift-giving. A foreign government musician calls! A special voicemail music mix by the legendary Kooool Kojak.

Author of the upcoming cookie recipe book "Crumbs", former food writer for the la times and die hard wendy williams fan joins CCP to discuss citrus, the pch, willow smith, marie kondo quitting, calling people honey, comment sections closing time vibes, cookie ice cream sandwiches, ozempic bruising, plastic use, composting and spaghetti limone. Canned peaches/tahini girl shocks the pod. A discussion of an ideal international record time. A campaign for charoset to be a year round snack. Chelsea is a new podcast listener and shares thoughts.

Chelsea chats about robot overlords then makes several half-hearted attempts at guided visualizations with largely disinterested callers who probably have Aphantasia. An overlong discussion of B12. Salad talk. A celebration of Kojak’s songs. Comment section outrage. Sweet tooth snacks. Protein. A brown recluse cameo featuring tunneling necrotic flesh.

Concord's own Blake Anderson is in studio for a high-octane, alarming ep in which we learn that Aphantasia, though it affects 1% of the population, affects 95% of CCP callers. Harrowing updates on a past ep's attack mini poodle and Chelsea's Blokudoku score. A hyper, coffee-fueled, spooky consortium on coyotes, mountain lions, work passwords, airports, Cycle Yanks, and rabies. Chelsea chases another Pulitzer in her deep dive investigative journalism around key words: "Virginia" and 'dogs" and introduces the show's first SuperGavel(tm). Some food tests. Episode culminates in a super-taster test strip tasting.

Chelsea has garish accidentally purple eyebrows and hosts comedy genius Roisin Canarty. As Chelsea squints for invisible subtitles that never come, she learns about claggy foods, sliding fruit, and the best mascara.

A very bay ep with one of chelseas jr high school besties, a dr w a phd in theology and impeccable penmanship, Sarai Crain comes to the show. Songs! A discussion of being silly as a survival mechanism in 7th and 8th grades, shy roasters, crimped bangs, perms, rayon as a dominant textile, starter jackets, used leggings. Chelsea learns that many of her callers used to be emo. Chelsea as a failed blond. A callers Brazilian Petroleum fail and a teachers “sounds naive” in red ink. DJP caller ! First time drunk. Oysters / mussels / spengers. Chelsea learns she has mispronounced Appalachian her whole life.

Chelsea is interviewed by a strange and largely benevolent robot in this very special episode. With her directorial debut "First Time Female Director" out on Roku, a PMSing Chelsea takes a sudden philosophical interest in the world of criticism and review culture, envies scientists, mourns for Wendy Williams, explores the most polite way to say one has to go to the bathroom, and learns about pillow weight gain. Caller "Golden Tickets" and the first "Ozempic Food Test" are introduced. Longtime podcaster, first time crying on podcast podcaster.

"The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken out by a caraway seed.

Entertainer-to-the-bone Paul Scheer, hot off a cold plunge, blasts into the CCP studio for a late in the day coffee and high-octane, wordplay-heavy chat about highly sensitive people, "sir" as a slur, work emails, work costumes, cannoli, Yordy Rance, cold cases, OCD, intrusive thoughts, personality disorders, age. A therapist calls and refuses to diagnose Chelsea. Crying at a Veteran's hospital and children's hospital. Dog gurneys. Aliens.

In this very special episode Chelsea is joined by two Rokuligans, comedy geniuses, and cast members of First Time Female Director: Benito Skinner and Kate Berlant. Benny roasts Chelsea’s phone while Chelsea nurses her hand wounds from a fall on the way into studio. They attempt a variety of accents, discuss the merits of setting spray, and a caller raises awareness on the emergency blueberry bagel as medicine for stomach viruses. Kate arrives and the trio speaks on Beaudegas, marzipan and princess cake, yucca fries, la restaurants, sparkling tea, the breville bambino, teeth, veneers, salmon recipes, air fryer issues,microwaves versus cooking over the cauldron, cheese, breastmilk, Roku city, Mexico city, girl couch, Bennys tv show, Kate's stage show, and becoming a cheesemonger apprentice as a mid-life career shift.

Two prominent women in film, beauty influencer Esther Povitsky and renowned shut-in Chelsea Peretti, come together to discuss food, almost exclusively. You can see them starring in “First Time Female Director” on Roku Friday March 8 and Drugstore June on Apple March 8. Do a double-header or just watch Chelsea’s. Thanks!

Quad-dominant podcaster Chelsea Peretti listens to your voicemails, takes calls, and ponders the very meaning of time in this musically front-heavy episode. A sailor pop song! A jellyfish attack! An exercise clothing vendor! A dramatic recipe monologue. Pottery. Santa's anus. Lavender lattes. Etc.

Chelsea welcomes highlining daredevil Faith Dickey to talk the wild world of highlining, when you walk across a rope super high up. Why is it valuable to do scary things? Is moderation the key to longevity? Infrared, compression sleeves, scrapers, epsom salts. Callers share what risks they take. An aspiring stand-up calls. Airplane etiquette. A solo round of "Who's Slurpin." Shoestring, curly, waffle, and steak fries. Malt vinegar. Brown sauce. Voicemails. The gap between the invention of bread and the invention of sandwiches. A call for food historians. Medieval food banquet fantasy. Cottage cheese. Flirting.

The first lady of lattes and queen of caffeine is joined by legendary comedian Natasha Leggero, hot off of taking her shirt off onstage. Chelsea tries not to talk over people as a previous callers husband calls from the Catskills, a lady calls from her bath, and a stay at home dad calls to talk about shoulders. Natasha shirks gatekeeping and shares her lipstick and over-all brands as well as a secret for delicious tea. Discussion of a potty trained cat, people pleasers, fake aging hacks, chores, Emily Mariko, pottery, parenting, blondes, sex dreams, and pronunciation of words. Chelsea invents the Art History Gym Enrichment Program. Buy Natasha’s book “The World Deserves My Children”

In this episode, alternately titled: SCIENTISTS ARE PLAYING GAMES WITH OUR MOUTHS, as well as PB & C & S, Adam Scott and Chelsea make a TJs run to grab repetitively named snacks and return to the stude to sample them. Chelsea has consistent trouble speaking, flabbergasted by the sheer volume of peanut-based snacks in what quickly devolves into a nightmare. Imagine a 1 hr 20 min long rollercoaster (where the ride is relatively flat). That is this episode. A danish kringle, a cannoli dip, some elote chips, 500 sweet peanut-based snacks, plus hummus - all along for the ride! Plus! A pao de quiejo foley artist? Yes. Stay nutty, you psychotic peanut freaks!!!...

In peak award season, Chelsea lures "Jury Duty" break-out star (and Chicago's own) RASHIDA “SHEEDZ” OLAYIWOLA to the studio to slurp coff and talk Altimas. They read fake car ads. They chat about Hollywood: flash differential on the red carpet, how nobody 10-2s, weak eye contact at LA parties, and auditioning. Chelsea harps on the fact that the fork doesn't seem to have evolved. AND THEN, out of nowhere, a therapist with the gift of the gab shares a tale of a dinner party gone awry. One small dog's relentless bitin' spree? One giant step backward for humankind.

Chelsea, called "a beacon of femininity" by one caller, draws compulsive hearts on a notepad while leading a riveting discussion about over-identifying with your generation label. She gives advice to a woman dating a man who fails to tell her he has a child. She chats about things like "The Notebook" with a charming first-gen Egyptian dude. B99 fans call. A Golden Caller emerges. A desert dog hike mishap. Blonde roast coffee, Kraft dinner, kale, apples, and unfortunately: peanut butter.