Bitch Bible

Jackie and her new best friend Stassi Schroeder talk about Yolanda's breakup, the beauty (and beast) of ultimatums, Kylie Jenner (ugh), and Stassi leaves Jackie speechless with an intimate story that will have you in TEARS.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by the esteemed Caroline Goldfarb (@officialseanpenn) as they break down the glory of the AMA's, convulse violently while going through Goop's holiday gift guide, and Jackie breaks her Kardashian Kleanse with a Kylie and Tyga story.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie delights listeners with another audio diary recorded during her adventures abroad. From shoplifting scones to awkward celebrity encounters and some aggressive thoughts on pigeons and Brooks Ayers , Jackie proves that you can take the bitch out of America but you can't take the bitch out of Jackie. Keep Calm and Listen On, bitches.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by actress Bresha Webb of NBC's new show "Truth Be Told" as they navigate through proper neighbor etiquette, wedding crashing, and the correct definition of anxiety. If you currently have a seasonal wreath on your door, this episode is not for you.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie gets into it with one of the baddest bitches she knows: Dana Cody of Oxygen's new series Boss Nails. They talk about how Jackie thinks 'bitch' is a term of endearment, how baller you have to be to stop by Dana's salon Tippie Toes (they've got dancer poles and 24 carat Imperial nails, girls) and we all learn a little something about what it means to date an older gentleman. Dana also dishes some Real Housewives of NY gossip because you know she has nothing to hide - guess who she thinks is a "Freak Ho?" Boss up, bitches!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Third time's the charm - it's another fan-fave Dr. Schimmel episode where Jackie takes calls and answers questions from her bitches across the country. Don't want to date daddies? Need to slim down before your wedding? Have a boyfriend who may have lied about having cancer? Let Dr. Schimmel inspire you to live your best, bitchiest life.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by her favorite podcast duo Emily Foster and Deanna Raphael from OMFG! They mourn the loss of Leonardo diCaprio's bachelorhood, unpacks Anne Hathaway's disgraceful breakfast behavior, and Jackie resolves to achieve her dreams to become #64 on the Maxim Hot 100 List. Goals, bitches. Have them or get the fuck out.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie and Kingsley become fast and furious friends in this episode where they discuss important topics like the tragedy of the existence of ice sculptures, why slutty Halloween costumes may cause severe anxiety, and Jackie divulges the details of her first ever SANGRIA STAKEOUT. Deceased.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie and her new fave Aussie comedian Joel Creasey break down body shaming, thigh brows, and where the hell Mischa Barton has been hiding. Jackie also ambushes Joel with a forced homo-erotic matchmaking session... there may be phone sex in this pod. You've been warned.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with the ultimate chocolate dreamsicle Milan Christopher and swirly sparks fly. They lend personal tips on landing a sugar daddy, recognizing signs that your bro may be basic and Jackie initiates her first Fuck Tracker for Charity #humanitarianlyfe.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie and friend Dan Fleming discuss pop culture, the perks of endless pasta and how modern romance can go terribly wrong. From Dan's firsthand experiences with Caitlyn Jenner to Jackie's traumatic rendezvous with a leg humper, this episode gets dirtier than Christina Aguilera in a boxing ring.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie celebrates Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and tries to reflect and repent for her wrongdoings. From eating crab cakes at temple, to vowing to stop body shaming her boyfriend and a very sincere apology to her frenemy Gwyneth Paltrow... It may be a new year, but Jackie realizes she is still the same bitch.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie and her first boyfriend/former nemesis Austin Kearns rekindle their love flame while discussing where their relationship went wrong and teach our listeners the do's and don'ts of being a millennial online dater.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by her favorite medium Monica Ten-Kate from ABC Family's 'Monica the Medium' where they discuss how much her lifestyle mirrors that of Allison Dubois (if you don't get this reference #BYEFELICIA). Jackie also gives Monica a spiritual reading solely based on her Subway sandwich selection and discusses why Megan's list just got a bit longer.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Schimmel is back in the office, answering her fans' calls and letters with only the bitchiest wisdom. Never without an inspirational quote, Jackie also calls upon those closest to her to offer her listeners some advice but finds that they are essentially basic as fuck.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie talks with Amy Paffrath, host of VH1's Dating Naked, about millennial dating, playing the field and protecting your orifices whilst in the nude.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Emily Kinney from 'The Walking Dead' and 'Masters of Sex' joins Jackie in her pivotal Kardashian Kleanse, unsubscribing from all things kontour, krop tops and waist trainers... after one last purge. Jackie also gets Emily to give vocal notes on a pitchy performance by Grandma Gloria and shares some fresh Gone Girl life updates.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie gets turnt with Charlamagne tha God in the most unfiltered podcast to date. She learns why black guys aren't into her AND we hear straight from tha source what's going on with Drake and Meek Mill (who Jackie thought was a brand of oatmeal). Pop a bottle of Dom and brace yourself.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie takes her first callers in this wisdom-filled podcast as she answers listener questions and gives advice on living your best, bitchiest self.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jetsetter Jackie is off to New York City for an appearance on Watch What Happens Live and she gives us a bitchy play by play in this week's audio diary. We get the dish on all things Housewives and experience the aftermath of when one eats too many hot dogs.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is joined by her producer Yimu as they recap last night's Bachelorette episode and give their bitchy opinions as to who they think will win Kaitlyn's heart.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie becomes acquainted with her crafty side with guest Mr. Kate as she drops some fun and non-basic DIY tips. Jackie and Kate also analyze some of Tyga's lyrics, find the PC definition of truffle butter, and discuss Kate's one night stand with Tiger Woods.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie talks getting wifed with her one rational married friend Heidi and gives listeners a game plan on securing a rock (no side baguettes). Jackie also sheds light on possible lesbianism, ultimatums and racial identity because she's just that fucking worldly. Get wifey or die alone trying.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie desperately struggles to connect with comedian and SNL alum Brooks Wheelan in this slightly awkward podcast where he calls her out on her mental stability and basically everything she says. Jackie updates listeners on new developments from her previous stalking faux pas on Instagram.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie consults comedian Jen Kirkman on dying alone, possessed children and other pressing feminist issues. Jackie also delights listeners with her recent predicament after being caught Instagram stalking an ex boyfriend.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with her former employer and funny bitch Heather McDonald. They discuss strategies to get cast on The Real Housewives, become part of Taylor Swifts girl posse and the struggles of abstinence. Jackie also tasks Heather with delivering a heartfelt note to Kylie Jenner in order to end their online feud.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie and celebrity stylist Eric Himel break down the importance of personal style, human anatomy, and confront Kylie Jenner on her recent slandering of Jackie's not-so-good name.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie, her Mom and Aunt talk about the pros and cons of playing the "cool girl". They also discuss boobs, embarrassing college experiences and other white girl problems.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie recoups from Coachella with comedian Amy Phillips. Together they analyze Jackie's anger towards Gwyneth Paltrow, unsolicited dick pics and all things reality television. Complete with interventions, digestive updates and what your Instagram filter says about your integrity.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie faces her biggest fear of crowds, polyester crop tops and drinking alcohol out of plastic drink ware at her first music festival in this intimate and mentally unstable audio diary. Will Cinderchella have a fairytale ending or end up in an asylum?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie and childhood BFF Briana take this podcast down memory lane as they reminisce on their awkward stages, ex boyfriends and drunken college mishaps. They also discuss Jackie's deep rooted Coachella anxieties, floral head wreaths and all.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie and her sister from the same mister discuss celeb ties, life plagues, and why the Easter bunny is probably on Megan's Law.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sips rosé with Lucas Cruikshank and Matt Fawcus as they passionately recap this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Life isn't all diamonds and rosé, but this podcast sure is.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie, her unfiltered cousin Joanna and her hot mess Grandma Gloria bitch it out over all things fashion, style and general promiscuity.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Happy St. Patrick's Day, bitches! Jackie and her Celtic bestie get into the holiday spirit by downing Guinness and talking all things Irish.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie psycho-analyzes 'The Bachelor' final rose ceremony in this exclusive, 2 day late recap with fellow Bachelor superfan and practical stranger Lauren.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie drags her pear shaped boyfriend Andrew into a one-sided discussion on life, love and the harsh realities of commitment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie and her gusband (gay husband) Max discuss everything you wanted to know about the relationship between a bitch and her 'mo.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie learns the hard way that she is indeed a "basic" bitch - yoga pants, Mayfair filter and all.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with the woman that shaped her into the bitch she is today - her mother!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.