@Betches

This week, Sami accidentally made 6 challah for Rosh Hashanah, Jordana shares her harrowing onion chopping accident, and Aleen reminisces about the ways she used to bribe Jordana to hang out in middle school. Most importantly, Jordana unveils her new custom 3 Betch Movers hoodie… We Here For You(r Move). Then, they dive into the headlines, starting with Lana Del Rey’s marriage to alligator tour guide Jeremy Dufrene, which simultaneously feels like something out of an alternate dimension and completely on brand. Millie Bobby Brown and Jake Bongiovi shared wedding photos of their own this week, and they’re so very young, but we wish them all the best. Next, some Diddy updates and celeb death conspiracy theories (including a spooky Britney Spears/Brittany Murphy crossover). Onto film and TV, the trio share their thoughts on Nobody Wants This, Will & Harper, The Apprentice, and the trailers for Nicole Kidman’s Babygirl, and Amy Adams’ Night Bitch. Our Betch Of The Week is Lana for not giving a fuck and finding true love, and we’re sending onions (and knives) to the Caymans for maiming Jordana’s finger. Shana Tova! We’ll be back next week at our new Friday 6AM EST release time! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Sami fills Aleen and Jordana in on her experience at Charli XCX and Troye Sivan’s Sweat tour at MSG featuring Lorde and Addison Rae, and they get into the differences between the current grunge vs Barbie pop girl aesthetics. Next, Jordana’s been watching a few things that hit Netflix this week, and she has *thoughts*. First up, her review of Ellen Degeneres’ new and final comedy special (who let her believe this was the material to go out on?) Then, they recap of some of the updates in the Diddy case - keep an eye out for a deeper dive coming soon. Speaking of true crime, the new season of Monster hit Netflix this week, with The Lyle And Erik Menendez Story, and Jordana gets into whether or not it nailed the tone… Ryan Murphy might need to take a step back from that genre as a whole. And finally, Jordana shares something worthy of a recommendation: the documentary Into The Fire: The Lost Daughter. We’re sending Ryan Murphy to the Caymans for his Menendez misstep, and our Betches of the week are Charli XCX, Troye Sivan, Lorde, and Addison Rae. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami talk about their recent experience playing tennis together, and Sami walks them through the high drama of her HOA. Then, they share their thoughts on the new Sopranos documentary Wise Guy, season 2 of Tell Me Lies, and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Onto the headlines, Diddy was arrested this week and is being held without bail, and 50 Cent was quick to roast him on social media (too soon?). J Lo and Ben were spotted *allegedly* getting cozy at brunch, and it’s giving us whiplash. And finally, Kate Middleton has returned to her royal duties after completing her cancer treatment, and Jordana, Sami, and Aleen unpack the eerie video she released last week to announce the good news. Our Betch Of The Week is MomTok’s own Taylor Frankie Paul, and we’re sending Ben and J Lo to the Caymans yet again, because we’ve had enough. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana catch up on airplane shoe etiquette (on or off in the bathroom?) before diving into last night’s VMAs, from live performances to fashion choices. Taylor swept for Fortnight, but we’re not buying it as the legitimate Song of the Summer. Meanwhile, Taylor and Travis are doing everything in their power to make us forget about that publicity breakup conspiracy document, and honestly… it’s kind of working. In related billionaire news, Selena Gomez officially joined the club this week, with the success of Rare Beauty. We love a self-made woman, and we will be sat for her upcoming film Emilia Perez. Up at TIFF, JLo and Matt Damon were spotted having an intense conversation while holding hands at the after party for Unstoppable, which stars JLo and is produced by Matt and Ben’s production company. What could they have been talking about? And finally, Netflix’s The Perfect Couple dropped this week and we have… critiques (except for Dakota Fanning, who was perfect). Listen for the full rundown on why it didn’t work for us. Our Betch of the Week is Selena, and we’re packing the plane to the Caymans with the writers room of The Perfect Couple. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we kick things off with Jordana’s peak and pit of France, Aleen’s celeb citing at Oh, Mary on Broadway, and Sami’s anniversary gift dilemma. Then, they catch up on their US Open experiences before sharing an exciting announcement: Betches Sports has officially launched on the Betches website! If you’ve ever felt left out by most mainstream sports coverage, Betches Sports is here to change the narrative, starting with The Betchdel Test. Speaking of sports, a (probably fake) document claiming to be Taylor and Travis’ breakup plan leaked on Snapchat this week, and Sami shares a few conspiracy theories of her own. And finally, Jordana is fully obsessed with Chappell Roan and her IDGAF*ckyness. Come back next week for their thoughts on the new season of Tell Me Lies once Aleen catches up. “Emily” from the leaked Tay/Trav Snapchat is simultaneously our Betch of the Week and getting sent to the Caymans, because whoever orchestrated this mess deserves it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Jordana’s in France, but Sami is back from DC and catches Aleen up on her time at the DNC, including those Beyoncé rumors. Aleen shares news of her upcoming move and a fun interior decorating discovery with her daughter. The much-anticipated 2nd season of Tell Me Lies is dropping next week, but until then, Aleen is loving Industry (aka X-rated Suits). Bethany Frankel had a cringeworthy run-in with Danielle Olivera in the Hamptons and acted like she was too old to know who she was, but Sami and Aleen aren’t convinced. Brittany Cartwright filed for divorce from Jax Taylor this week, which is yet another reason to tune in to season 2 of The Valley. And what is going on with the Kardashian-Jenners and their cryptic posts about tea? Are they launching a new product… or a podcast? Most importantly, it looks like Aleen may have been right about Kylie and Timmy. In other news, Sabrina Carpenter’s new album is on repeat, but are she and Barry Keoghan still together (or were they ever? It’s giving PR relationship). Congrats are in order for Hailey and Justin Bieber’s new baby Jack Blues, and a tentative congrats to Lana Del Rey on her new relationship… do you think they met on one of his alligator tours? Ben Affleck also sparked relationship rumors with Kick Kennedy, which took us all down yet another weird RFK animal horror story. Our Betch of the Week is Lana for being one of the realest in the game, and we’re sending Armie Hammer right back to the Caymans to escape the LA gas prices. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Sami is away at the Bravocon of politics (aka the DNC), so Aleen and Jordana are here to cover this week’s headlines. Aleen kicks things off with her recent online shopping headache, before they dive into celeb news. First up, J Lo has finally filed for divorce from Ben Affleck on the 2nd anniversary of their Georgia wedding, while Ben is in New Haven with the other Jen dropping their daughter off at Yale. Was This Is Me…Now their 2nd Gigli? And how could they not have a prenup? Next, is the “demure” trend over or are we just too old to participate? Either way, we’re happy for Jools Lebron’s viral hit. Speaking of successful women in media, Alex Cooper of Call Her Daddy fame inked a massive deal with SiriusXM. Just don’t call her the female Joe Rogan. And finally, despite rumors to the contrary and those of us (Jordana) who didn’t even know they were together to begin with, Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin are still very much engaged, if her massive emerald ring is any indication. We’re sending Fashion Bunker to the Caymans to sort out their customer service, and our very demure, very mindful, very cutesy Betch of the Week is Jools Lebron. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Sami, Jordana, and Aleen wish Ben Affleck a very happy 52nd birthday, and share their theories on JLo’s recent public sightings with Ben and Jen Garner’s kids. Then, they dive back in to the continuing drama around It Ends With Us. Who is winning the PR war? Does rude behavior in an interview mean Blake is a true mean girl, or are her jokes just not landing? Next, several people have been arrested in connection with Matthew Perry’s death, including two of his doctors. We’ll be keeping an eye on the case as it develops. In true crime news, Jordana watched Netflix’s new Laci Peterson docuseries, and gives Aleen and Sami a refresher on the case. Our Betch of the Week is Lily Collins, because we can’t wait to get home and watch the new season of Emily in Paris, and we’re sending Blake, Ryan, and Justin to the Caymans to do a team building exercise together. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Sami, Jordana, and Aleen kick things off with two very important discussions: which fast food chicken place is the best, and would you have chosen Big or Aiden in the SATC universe? In other news, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have been all over social media with their respective films’ press tours. Is Blake Lively a “crown straightener,” or was she mean to Leighton Meester in the Gossip Girl days? Speaking of cast feuds, what is going on with Justin Baldoni versus everyone else in It Ends With Us? He’s almost suspiciously emotionally intelligent. Meanwhile, why didn’t Ryan Reynolds acknowledge Matthew Macfadyen in any of his Deadpool & Wolverine posts? And why hasn’t anyone except Aleen noticed? Then, Jordana and Aleen share their thoughts on the House of the Dragon finale (spoiler: Aleen is pissed), and Jordana catches Aleen and Sami up on all the RHONJ finale drama. Our Betch of the Week is Blake, and we’re sending Luis Ruelas to the Caymans for saying he hopes Margaret Joseph’s son suffers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana kick things off with their favorite Olympics moments so far, including the US Women’s gymnastics team’s incredible win and Simone Biles having the last laugh over MyKayla Skinner. Next, we dive into the world of Ballerina Farm, the viral Times article, and trad wife culture in general. Are they that different from any other lifestyle influencer? Onto celeb news, Ben Affleck bought a $20 million mansion while the $60 million one he shares with JLo still languishes on the market. Can they just announce their separation already so we can all move on? In the world of Bravo, Carl Radke announced his new non-alcoholic venue Soft Bar + Cafe, and we have some constructive criticism on the name. Jax Taylor is reportedly getting some help with his mental health, and we’ll be tuning in when season 2 of The Valley comes back to see how he and Brittany are handling their separation. And finally, Bill Maher has a lot of opinions about Taylor and Travis that he shared with none other than the Hawk Tuah girl. Our Betch of the Week is the entire US women’s gymnastics team, and we’re sending the Times journalist for her mean-spirited article. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami jump right into it with the latest Bennifer updates. JLo’s in the Hamptons celebrating her 55th bday with an extravagant Bridgerton-themed bash, while Ben Affleck is on the other side of the country inspiring less-than-flattering headlines about how he might be coping with their alleged separation. In global news, the CrowdStrike outage resulted in mass disruptions for airlines and hospitals, which is a good reminder for Aleen and Sami to get back to work on their bunkers. Next up, the royal family caused a stir with a report that Prince William earned over $30 million last year… no wonder he got such good Taylor Swift seats. And while we’re over in the UK, Matthew Macfayden (aka Tom Wambsgans) did an interview claiming he wasn’t “dishy enough” to play Mr. Darcy, and respectfully, we beg to differ. The Paris Olympics opening ceremony is tomorrow night, and we’ll be tuning in to Celine Dion and Lady Gaga’s La Vie En Rose duet. And finally, Aleen and Jordana share their thoughts on the Presumed Innocent finale. Our Betch of the Week is Matthew Macfayden for being enough for us, and we’re sending the CrowdStrike CEO to the Caymans, but he’s gonna have to suffer through a few canceled flights on his way there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, we’re kicking things off with a huge congrats to Sami for reaching number two on the NYT Best Seller list with Democracy In Retrograde! This week also marks the release of The Tummy Ache Issue on Betches.com, and Aleen, Jordana, and Sami share some of their embarrassing gastric stories. Onto the celeb headlines: Mauricio Umansky was spotted in Mykonos kissing a mystery blonde… Do you think they went to Nammos? And are any of the remaining RHBOH couples actually real? Speaking of Bravo, Tom Sandoval filed a new lawsuit against Ariana, in a mission to keep his Most Hated Man In America title. In other legal news, Alec Baldwin’s criminal trial has been dismissed, which is great news for the TLC show. Across the pond, Kate Middleton made a rare public appearance at Wimbledon, looking gorgeous in purple. Aleen’s determined to attend next year, and Jordana’s taking lessons so she’s practically tournament ready. And randomly, Ozzy Osbourne has had quite enough of Britney Spears’ dancing videos, not that she cares… although low key we did have to unfollow. Finally, we wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. We’re sending Tom Sandoval to the Caymans yet again, because, in Jordana’s words, that guy stinks. Our Betch of the Week is the Princess of Wales for her much deserved standing O at “the” Wimbeldon. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Aleen is back from Greece with a hot take about Mykonos, and an even hotter sunscreen conspiracy theory that she needs Sami and Jordana to weigh in on. Sami’s new book, Democracy In Retrograde, is in high demand in stores *and* at the library (ever heard of it?). In celeb news, Lindsay Hubbard is pregnant and made the announcement in true Lindsay fashion: via a sponsored post. Did Dorinda really spill the news to The Traitors’ producers and get her axed from the show? Speaking of pregnancies, Gypsy Rose Blanchard is expecting a baby with her boyfriend Ken, and we would totally watch their TLC show. Jordana is finally caught up on the Hawk Tuah girl…the American Dream has truly evolved so much in our lifetimes. We’re excited for the sequel to The Devil Wears Prada, and a little frustrated by House of the Dragon season 2 (someone please get Jordana a character guide ASAP). And is Ellen DeGeneres actually leaving fame behind after her Netflix special drops? Finally, we wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. We’re sending Nammos Mykonos to the Caymans for bamboozling Aleen, and our Betch of the Week is the Hawk Tuah girl for signing with UTA. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Aleen may be in Greece, but Jordana is looking tan, which according to her dermatologist is *not* a compliment. Sami reveals her meteorology skepticism (climate change is real, but weather apps are fake). Jordana and Sami share their thoughts on Celine Dion’s new documentary… JLo’s doc is feeling more insignificant by the day. Speaking of JLo, a new update suggests she and Ben have actually been separated since March, and Ben has been looking to Jennifer Garner for advice on the situation. Listen to find out what we think that advice actually is. Then, Sami explains Charli XCX and her new album Brat to Jordana, and they discuss their Summer House season 9 predictions. Finally, they wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. Our Betch of the Week is, of course, Celine. And we’re sending Ben Affleck’s publicist to the Caymans to figure out how to make him look less miserable in the tabloids. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sami’s in LA for VidCon, so Jordana and Aleen are here to discuss all the stories of the week. Jordana kicks things off with a recap of her failed attempt at procuring Eras Tour tix in London. Taylor, if you’re listening, Vivid Seats seriously needs to get their act together. Aleen’s heading to Greece next week for her 5 year wedding anniversary (and 10 year dating anniversary!), and reflects on how long term relationships shape you as a person. Speaking of vacations, JLo was papped flying commercial, which raises the question: how tight *is* money right now in the Bennifer household? If you could have insider info on any celeb’s finances, who would you choose? We’re sending a huge congrats to Mindy Kaling, who surprised everyone with an announcement that her 3rd child was born back in February. How many pre-planned IG posts must she have taken to keep that under wraps? In other celebrity offspring news, Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri has dropped her dad’s last name, not long after Shiloh Jolie-Pitt announced plans to do the same. The family drama there might be even more fascinating than JLo’s tax return. Next up, despite his fears about the world tour being ruined, Justin played Madison Square Garden this week to an audience that somehow included Martin Scorsese. And notorious hater Hugh Grant tweeted his love of Taylor Swift after her show at Wembley, where Prince William was also spotting shaking it off - was everyone there except Jordana? Finally, filming has commenced on Freaky Friday 2, and we can’t wait to see it in 2025. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken, is Prince William for letting loose at the show. And Vivid Seats is getting a one way ticket to the Caymans for their terrible customer service. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami are coming to you from the Spotify studio at Cannes Lions! They kick off the episode with some highlights from the festival, before unpacking Part 2 of the Summer House reunion and the continued Carl and Lindsay drama. In other news, Justin Timberlake has been arrested in the Hamptons for a DWI… This is really going to ruin the world tour. Cayman’s poster boy Armie Hammer is attempting a comeback by reminding everyone he was accused of cannibalism. Maybe he can stay there for a while longer. Joe Alwyn makes a rare public statement about his former relationship with Taylor, and we’re actually not mad at it. Finally, Scooter Braun is officially a manager no more. What is he trying to get ahead of? Listen to hear our theories. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken, is Joe Alwyn for keeping it so classy. And Justin is getting a time out in the Caymans until he can figure out how to call an Uber. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Betches are getting ready to head to Cannes next week! They’re ready for a week at Spotify Beach, where Jordana and Jared are going to be on a panel - they’re even on the same flier as John Legend. Helloooooo, legendary. We also hear the Kelce brothers are scheduled to attend too-- will the Betches end up in the presence of Taylor? We’ll report back. Speaking of Taylor, The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived aka Matty Healy is engaged to model Gabbriette Bechtel, and we have a lot of thoughts, including a niche theory. From one troubling couple to the next– JLO and Ben Affleck are selling their $60 million dollar mansion. Is a divorce imminent? Why couldn’t they have bought a simple $15 million dollar cottage like Prince Harry and Meghan Markle?! Has Jen Garner been secretly planting these press stories? Listen for our thoughts. Finally, they wrap up with a Summer House debrief including the Carl/ Lindsay and Amanda/Kyle of it all. Our Silver Star of The Week, brought to you by Heineken is Ciara, because she showed up, looked ethereal, and had Kyle crying. West is taking a time out or maybe an uncomfortable coffee with Ben and JLO. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All 3 betches are together IRL, and we have a lot to discuss today. So much news, so little time. JLO canceled her tour and tbh, we’re not distraught at all over it. Will this save her marriage? Good luck to her PR team. The Baldwins are coming to TLC – yes, you read that correctly. Mark your calendars for 2025. The three give their hot takes on the Traitors cast announcement, and of course we have to talk about the Summer House finale, and the Cheez Its VS Goldfish of it all. Betch of the Week goes to the casting department for Traitors. TLC was closing in as a second Betch of the Week. We’ll have to see how The Baldwins actually is first. Maybe the network will have a renaissance from this. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back betch and glad it’s a short week. Sami, Jordana and Aleen recap their Memorial Day Weekend and then give their congrats to Sofia Richie who just became a mom! Are nepo babies the new socialites? That’s the question we’re askin’. Our resident JLO representative Aleen gives the rundown on her recent clapback about her marriage during a press conference. We watched The Challengers and The Idea Of You. Yes we have some hot takes. Like, did they even have chemistry?! The episode wraps up with their recap of the VPR Finale. The Bravo producers will be sent to the Caymans and Billie Eilish is our Betch of the week. Sami can’t stop listening to her new album. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cheers betch, it’s almost Memorial Day Weekend. It’s about to be the summer of Betches. Aleen’s oldest, Mila is ready for the pool and Jordana’s ready for the heat. Well, as the temps rise, one couple seems to be cooling down… JLO and Ben WTF is going on?! And, now Jennifer Garner is getting involved... From one couple to the next, are Taylor and Travis secretly engaged or is Trav not even planning an engagement? The Betches break down the crazy couple headlines. They wrap up with a quick Valley debrief, and Jordana and Sami’s hot takes of Anne Hathaway’s new movie, The Idea Of You.. which leads them to let you know that Harry Styles is single again. Delulu girlies rise up! Our Betch of the Week: Scarlett Johansson fighting against AI. We’re sending Bennifer to the Caymans and will be joined by the AI guy who screwed over ScarJo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aleen is back from across the pond, which makes it perfect timing to discuss King Charles’ scary new royal portrait… It’s giving Carrie at prom. Hailey Bieber’s pregnant, and Benny Blanco is ready for kids, will Selena and Hailey be expecting at the same time? Speaking of couples, Sophie Turner is telling all to British Vogue about her divorce and friendship with Taylor Swift, leaving no stones unturned. Lots of new shows that we will be SAT for are coming: a Legally Blonde prequel, the Wicked movie and Pop Culture Jeopardy. Sign us up! How would we do?? Sound off in the reviews. Whoever didn’t submit the annual report for Harry and Meghan’s Archwell foundation will be sent to the Caymans, and Benny Blanco is our Betch of the Week. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aleen’s across the pond, but Sami and Jordana are here IRL. Guess what? Jordana moved again… lucky number 7! Now onto the event of the year… fashion’s biggest night– the MET Gala! Sami and Jordana share their favorite looks from the evening and introduce our new segment, Who Wore It Betch? Sponsored by Sparkling Ice. Was Zendaya their fave, and why was Kim K wearing a cardigan?! We have a lot of thoughts… From the MET to the GOAT– yes we’re talking about the epic roast of Tom Brady. Jordana gives her debrief after watching with Mike. Justice 4 Bridget Moynahan, listen and you’ll find out why. The two share which celebs they’d love to be roasted next, and the list is endless. The Betches wanna be roasted! Perhaps a joint 40th birthday founders roast? They wrap up with WTF is going on in the rap world aka Drake and Kendrick’s latest beef. Bring Esther Perel on to facilitate the roast of these guys. Therapy sessions are the new roast, we don’t make the rules. Our Betch of the Week is Tyla, because she had the best outfit, and got people to carry her up the stairs. Drake and Kendrick will be sent to the Caymans so they can work out their sh*t together Parent Trap style. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We begin today’s episode with Sami’s celeb sightings and peak and pit from her time at the White House last week. Hint, one includes Jon Hamm. The Betches do a quick segue into The Valley, because Jax Taylor and Brittany were at the Correspondents Dinner… Switching gears from celebs in DC to NYC-- we’re less than a week away from the MET Gala. The 3 give their predictions on who will show up. And how miserable will Ben Affleck look? His wife is a co-chair of the evening after all… Then onto the IG comment that sent the internet spiraling: Barbra Streisand asking Melissa McCarthy if she’s on Ozempic. Then onto another quick Baby Reindeer recap because Jordana is curious. She also gives her Anyone But You review. Is Sydney Sweeney a good actress… or is she just really hot? Thus going into a convo on what their fave bad romcoms of all time are. Jax Taylor will be sent to the Caymans because he sent Brittany to a tantric sex expert. Wtf?! Barbra is our Lifetime Achievement Betch of the Week, because she made the internet funny during some dark times. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sami kicks off today’s episode coming at you live from DC. Then onto the album on everyone’s lips… The Tortured Poets Department, and what are our fave songs so far? We’re into petty Taylor (especially when she likes and then unlikes our IG post!) Speaking of petty, the Betches delve into the Kim K song drama of it all… Will Taylor ever get over it? Speaking of Kardashians, Kylie Jenner might be pregnant again! Listen and you’ll find out our theories on where her relationship with Timotheé stands. They wrap with a debrief on the hottest new show, Baby Reindeer, plus a Bravo recap. Nelson Peltz (Nicola’s daddy) will be sent to the Caymans for initiating and failing at his Disney takeover…. What is he so mad about? Betch of the Week of course, has to go to Tay, for the most streams in a day of her new album. She’s forever the Queen of breaking her own records. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The original recipe is back, IRL. Aleen kicks things off with a revelation that one day, some day, she *will* turn 40, but at least she has a trip to Japan to look forward to. Of course, we have to discuss all things Taylor ahead of The Tortured Poets Department release. Even Jordana has to admit Tay and Travis looked really cute at Coachella. On a *not so shocking note * the Golden Bachelor Gerry Turner is getting a divorce after 3 months of marriage to Theresa Nist…. It’s giving Kim K and Kris Humphries. Our Betch of the Week is NCAA superstar Caitlin Clarke, who’s worth way more than she’s being given. Get your sh*t together WNBA. As for the Caymans? Gerry and Theresa are on their way, they knew this divorce was coming before they even got married…. We’re unable to be duped. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ciao betch, Sami’s celebrating her birthday in Italy, but Aleen and Jordana are here to discuss all the pop culture tea of the week, starting with an immediate breaking news story while recording. They recap their earthquake and eclipse stories– Aleen has an emergency bunker. Jordana’s not invited, unless she promises not to tell anyone…. Betches Luv This Bunker– has a nice ring to it right? Then, onto an in depth debrief on the Curb finale and the Brandy Melville doc that has every millennial reeling right now. Noah Cyrus liked who’s thirst trap? That’s right, her sister Miley’s ex-husband Liam Hemsworth’s. WTF is going on with that family? Speaking of Miley, JoJo Siwa’s tryna enter her own Can’t Be Tamed era, and causing quite the stir. In happier news, another Bridget Jones movie is in the works. Larry David is our Betch Of The Week, his show’s had a good 25 year run. And Stefan, the founder of Brandy Melville will be sent to the Caymans. No further questions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Betches are fresh off the heels of their speaking engagements at Harvard Business School, what like it’s hard?! They recap their trip and the drama that ensued afterwards. Then onto the biggest pop culture news of the week: Beyonce’s Cowboy Carter has arrived, and Jolene better sleep with one eye open. Taylor Swift has *officially* achieved billionaire status, and she Travis are going to Coachella together. Sorry, are they 26?! Lizzo’s quitting-- well not really. Listen and you’ll find out her reasoning. They wrap up with Aleen’s thoughts on Shogun, and Jordana finally watched Buying Beverly Hills! If you’re a reality TV lover, and if you’re still confused if canned tuna is chicken or fish tune into our website and socials on Monday April 8th to see what we’ve been cooking up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Betches begin this week’s episode with their peaks and pits of their collective 35th birthday Mexico getaway-- including what they were up to when they found out about the shocking Kate Middleton news. We all owe her an apology... Then onto some other serious topics (not the lightest news day). They discuss Diddy’s FBI home invasion and their thoughts on the the chilling Quiet on Set Nickelodeon documentary. In happier news, Ariana Maddix is finally moving out of her house with Tom Sandoval! Will she back at VPR or is it time for her to move on? And finally, Beyonce’s album drops tonight, we’ve never been so excited to listen to country music. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The trio is back in action. According to Aleen, the joke’s on us because the Caymans are lovely. We’re recording a day early, because the Betches are going on their collective bday trip tomorrow to Mexico, so first they dive in to KateGate. Of course we’re talking about the TMZ video. Is it a body double? Why are the Royals carrying plastic bags? Is Rose Hanbury the posh Raquel Leviss? Then onto America’s knockoff royal family- the Kardashians, or at least their exes... Caitlyn Jenner and Lamar Odom are launching a podcast together and their logo is giving clip art. What does Khloe think about all this? We won’t be listening. Onto another clickbait headline, Travis Kelce’s new hosting gig-- Listen and you’ll understand the irony. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Bday Aleen! An important day for Pisces everywhere. While Aleen’s in the Caymans, Sami recaps her trip to the White House and Jordana gives a sneak peak into her U Up interview with her dream guest Esther Perel. They recap the (boring) Oscars, where the most exciting headline seems to be Vanessa Hudgens’ pregnancy. Kim K also continues to attempt to hard launch Odell at every major event, including the Vanity Fair Oscars After Party, and no one cares. Speaking of couples, are Taylor and Travis on the rocks? Sami thinks so, while Jordana thinks Tay should consider circling back to one of her exes. Then onto more piping hot English breakfast tea – Kate Middleton’s photoshop fail, and Prince William’s alleged affair. We’ll see how things look after Easter… Also, this just in, Meghan Markle has a new lifestyle brand that just launched mid-recording… American Riviera Orchard. They wrap up with a VPR recap and the Mauricio/ Hilton drama. Olivia Rodrigo is our Betch of the Week for handing out Plan B and condoms to fans on the GUTS tour. Kensington Palace’s PR team will be sent to the Caymans. No further questions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sup, betch. Sami is podcasting from DC today, before heading off to the White House! We fear she’s become a Gen Z TikToker, because she’s doing a GRWM while recording. A multi tasking queen. The three dive in on one of Sami’s fave topics: the Royals and Kate Middleton’s suss spotting. Can we all give the girl a break?? Next, some Bravo updates: splits, pregnancies, and a new couple feat. an Olsen twin’s ex. Listen and you’ll find out who. Then, the Cyrus family’s love triangle drama is giving the plot of Something’s Gotta Give. Sami and Aleen wrap up with their hot takes on Kate Winslet’s new show, The Regime. Tish and Dominic will be sent to the Caymans. Your job as a parent is not to date your daughter’s ex… duh. Parenting 101. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All 3 betches are back in studio IRL, and joined by a very special guest… Sami’s new puppy! It’s toasty AF in here, so the gals are schvitzing and stressin’. Speaking of stress, the 3 kick off today’s episode with the name on everyone’s lips: Kate Middleton — WTF is going on and what won’t William tell us?! We’re waiting for her TikTok debut, preferably to Beyonce’s Texas hold ’em. Now onto another man stirring up some drama, Travis Kelce… and his Vegas partying after only visiting Taylor down under for 2 days. He’s a very “committed boyfriend.” Jordana and Sami give their Love is Blind debrief — does Chelsea really look like Megan Fox?! Sami thinks a different celeberity… listen and you’ll find out. They wrap up with Sami’s detailed retelling of Reesa Teesa’s TF Did I Marry? Yup, the story told in 52 parts on TikTok. See? We can be our own documentarians. Our Betch of the Week is Ruth Gottesman, for her $1 billion donation to the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, which will cover for free tuition in perpetuity for all medical students. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sami got a dog! Well, she exchanged dogs with her mom. Long story, you gotta listen. It’s been a slow week for celebrities, so we’re kickin’ it old school and talking about the most brow raising articles from The Cut and The NY Times, which include a scary scammer piece and VPR’s Assistant’s exposé…Ann has a bright future ahead of her. Jordana thinks she can scam Sami…now that would be a fun game to play. They wrap with Aleen’s hot takes on JLO’s awful movie. No srsly, we still have PTSD, it’s that bad. Our Betch of the Week is Beyoncé because she’s making history yet again! We’re sending Aleen to the Cayman’s, because she’s literally going next week! We’re trying to convince her to sell a timeshare while she’s there…No promises. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The company is officially a grown woman… happy Betch Mitzvah to you all on our 13th birthday. Sami, Aleen, and Jordana share some of their fave memories from the early days and tell an embarrassing Facebook story. They debrief a busy Super Bowl Sunday and there’s a lot to unpack: Travis let his bro-flag fly, Ben & JLo stole the show with their Dunkin commercial, and Taylor looked great every time she was on screen. They also tell us what they thought of Usher’s halftime performance (hint: the caressing of Alicia Keys got a little too personal). The Met Gala officially has a theme and it’s a good one. Ariana Grande is teaming up with Mariah Carey and people couldn’t be happier – if only we could get her song out of our head. Finally, Nicola Peltz Bekham and Meghan Markle made headlines this week. Travis will go to the Caymans this week, because he needs to work on his public speaking. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s been a long time comin’, but Sami and Holly are back for another episode of Speak Now (Betches Version). There’s A LOT going on at the moment, because Tay just made history at the Grammys, exhibited some very unhinged behavior, AND she simultaneously dropped a major announcement: a brand new album that’s been “2 years in the making”. Yes, we have some reason to believe that the title is a dig at you-joe-who. Fresh off the Grammys (fresh out the slammer), the Eras tour has resumed in Tokyo, and the Super Bowl just days away. Will Trav make a grand gesture if the Chiefs win? Listen and found out, Dear Listener. Speak now or forever hold your peace in the comments if you liked this and want more. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All three betches are back recording together this week and begin by discussing Drake’s NSFW video… IYKYK. Did he release this video himself or was it really leaked? They debrief a packed Grammys show that featured a few awkward Taylor Swift moments on stage, and an amazing performance of Fast Car by Tracy Chapman – Jordana’s her new biggest fan… even though she only likes the one song. Also Jay-Z made things uncomfortable for everyone and we have thoughts. The Super Bowl is happening this Sunday, so Aleen tells us why she thinks the game was predetermined – Sami’s not so sure, but Jordana only cares about her betting pool anyway. There’s more to say about Taylor’s big announcement, but you’ll have to wait until tomorrow’s episode of Speak Now Betches Version. In the meantime, Tracy gets her moment to shine as our Betch of the Week, and Phoebe Bridgers gets the honor of sending some guy named Neil to the Caymans. Good luck selling those timeshares while you “rot in piss” (Phoebe’s words, not ours). Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s February - the worst month ever! But that also means that Betches’s birthday is in 2 weeks...and it's our Betch Mitzvah! Won't you please come up and light candle number 13? Sami is preparing a montage, and maybe we’ll include Levels by Avicii in it, if we can get the music rights (shout out to the TikTok vs. UMG feud). While Sami is sound mixing, Jordana is busy selling her wares on Facebook Marketplace (her Betch of the Week and part of our new sustainability initiative). Then they move onto this week's headlines: Justin Timberlake is in his flop era, Sami and Jordana re-forecast their Taylor & Travis relationship timeline to account for the Chiefs making it to Super Bowl. We’re so proud, but also just about ready for them to put their public honeymooning on pause. There's also Sophie Turner and her semi-hard launch with British aristocrat boyfriend Peregrine Pearson, and Tom Sandoval is on the press circuit. This week, Justin Timberlake will be sent to the Caymans. He needs to experience some rejection. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sami and Aleen are back in the Betches HQ studio and they’ve got a bone to pick with the Oscar noms that were just released. Everyone is buzzing about Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie snubs, and we’re all ready to move past darkly-lit “complex man does terrible thing” movies. Onto things we love – Selena Gomez opened up about body image in a series of IG posts with an inspiring update on a throwback bikini moment. Aleen also shares a positive paparazzi (pos-arazzi?) red carpet encounter between some of our favorite celebs. They introduce a new segment called “some things people are talking about that we don’t really care about but we’ll mention anyway” – and the list goes on: Jason Kelce’s bare chest, Kardashian sponsorships, Jacob Elordi’s relationship status, and Tristan Thompson’s doping scandal. They wrap with some TV recs, Timothée’s resurfaced rap footage, a classic Anne Hathaway moment, and the Betch of the Week. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jordana, Sami, and Aleen begin today with a heated discussion that brings them back to their sorority rush days *shudders* Shoutout to AEPHI! Sami begins the pop culture topics by introducing a new segment: Betch of the Week. We chose 2 because they’re just too good. Then onto an Emmys red carpet roast recapping all their fave and worst looks – it’s giving Jovani. Switching gears to the music industry, Ariana Grande returned to music and dropped a new song for the first time in 3 years… Is it a bop or a flop? We’re divided. In other news across the pond, Kate Middleton was admitted to the hospital due to abdominal surgery. Spoiler alert, she’s doing fine. They wrap up with a preview of today’s live RHOSLC table read, and Mauricio will be sent to the Caymans this week because god knows how many times he’s cheated. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Aleen, Sami, and Jordana kick off today’s episode debriefing their first outing of 2024 – their Taylor Swift cover band concert. Then they dive in with a recap of the 2024 Golden Globes, including Jo Koy’s lack of originality. Of course we have to talk about the gossip sesh seen round the world: Selena, Taylor, and Keleigh Teller’s caught on camera convo. Honestly, we’d do the exact same thing. Listen to find out who we’re *pretty sure* they’re talking about. Has a new couple emerged from the Golden Globes… aka Meryl Streep and Martin Short? Post-Golden Globes the trio wrap up with the latest on the White Lotus season 3 announcements and who was just cast. No Caymans this week, we’ll give you your couple minutes back. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy New Year betch! 2024 is off to a great start, because we’re back to our original recipe. Welcome back Aleen! The three have a perfectly unhinged catch up and then dive into the latest news in pop culture, starting with Queen Camilla’s new podcast- trust us, she’ll be doing ads for MeUndies in no time. Gypsy Rose Blanchard was released from prison and is now sharing a little too much on the internet with her newfound fame. Bachelor Nation faced yet another divorce 30 seconds into the new year: Rachel Lindsay and Bryan Abasolo are splitting and he’s the one requesting spousal support. The boys are fighting: Jimmy Kimmel and Aaron Rodgers that is. Listen and you’ll find out what set Jimmy off. Kim K had some very controversial Christmas decorations. Does Kim need a boyfriend? She seems bored. They wrap up with their hot takes on the movie on everyone’s lips: Saltburn… bathwater and all. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Betches have blessed us with a round up of the hottest pop culture moments and dumpster fires of 2023. From the best moments in TV to the most fever dream of celeb couples, Jordana and Sami cover it all, including some of their pop culture predictions for 2024. Plus all about their NYE plans– you can alway rely on Jordana to bring the board games. Summing up this year, Kanye and Elon will be sent to the Caymans. We’ll send them into space together– Economy only. And lastly, a special thank you to our faithful listeners for your grace as we get facts wrong. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ho ho ho, betch. Sami and Jordana are recording this episode a little early for you because by this time, Sami will be jet setting to Japan- a #1 bucket list destination for her. Jordana, not so much.. But rest assured, Sami will bring back some Ramen for her. Look out for her Betches travel guide. Another couple bites the dust, this time it’s Kendall Jenner and Bad Bunny (no shock there). From one break up to a surprise engagement (#2) for Demi Lovato and her huge ring that’s worth all the hype. And a PDA filled hard launch from Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco. Is Taylor inspiring her celeb besties to not hint at sh*t anymore? Millennials rejoice, an American Girl movie is in the works and we’ll be first in line. Sami’s Samantha doll story will melt your heart. Updates from this week’s Chiefs game changed Jordana’s relationship timeline for Taylor and Travis, and Sami too! It all depends on the Superbowl. Travis will shockingly be sent to the Caymans, because he’s being such a dude bro. Listen and you’ll find out why. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy Hanukkah, betches. Sami kicks off today’s episode sharing her Hanukkah celebrations from the VP and First Gentleman’s big bash at the *other* White House. While on the topic of celebrating, they wish Taylor Swift a happy 34th birthday — even if Travis was too busy to celebrate with her — which leads to more speculation about their relationship timeline. Speaking of couples, Kylie and Kris Jenner were spotted sneaking out of Timmy’s LA premiere for his movie Wonka– will Timothée become Stormi and Aire’s stepdaddy? The congrats continue with a shoutout to Hilary Duff who is now going to be a mom of 4(!!) and a reaction to the royal Christmas card, which has caused quite the stir online with a major photoshop fail of Prince Louis. And while we’re on the subject, when will the Sussexes drop their card? Sami and Jordana wrap up with a quick debrief on Julia Roberts new movie, Leave The World Behind, the shocking Vanderpump Rules season trailer, and Paris in Love. The photoshop editor for William and Kate’s holiday card will be sent to the Caymans, no royal treatment included. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sami and Jordana are having a Friendsgiving get together tonight – yes, a couple weeks too late, but hey they’re working gals. There’s lots to discuss today including our inaugural Betch of the Year finalists and a ton of categories to debate. Then onto Oxford’s Word of the Year (spoiler, it’s Rizz), and, if you’re sensing a theme here, TIME’s Person of the Year… Swifties IYKYK. Lots of clowny headlines today including a Trump TV series starring Sebastian Stan, Kim K’s new Hulu show, Ariana Madix heading to Broadway, and what is up Hugh Grant’s a**?! The two wrap up with their review of the movie May December. No question, Hugh Grant will be sent to the Caymans this week. We wanna hear him complain, what exactly would be his dream job? Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sami trooped her way through the tropics, and begins today’s episode with a recap of her Thanksgiving vacay, while Jordana spills the tea on her holiday with Dr. Naomi. They jump in with a RHOBH debrief, which details Morgan Wade’s first appearance – had she and Kyle Richards f*cked yet?! Jordana reveals her Spotify wrapped in real time, and you’re going to be shocked at who her #1 artist for the year is. Taylor Swift’s moving in with Travis Kelce and the betches have some thoughts– is Jordana officially over this couple? Meanwhile, Blue Ivy is on her own redemption tour, and Mark Cuban is making headlines. If his Shark Tank departure is due to planning a presidential run, the betches would vote for him. No one will be sent to the Caymans this week. Instead we propose a competition involving 3 betch movers: a timeshare selling contest between Aleen, Sami, and Jordana. Who would win?! Sound off in the comments. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On a special Black Friday episode of the podcast, Sami and Jordana are joined by their co-hosts for the day: Maddy Paul and Maria Del Russo of Good at Shopping. Together, they walk us through the do's and don'ts of holiday gift-giving this year. Is there a *right* way to re-gift? Do people really want you to get them an "experience" gift? And should I go ahead and buy the $250 candle I've had my eye on this season? Sami shares her list of thoughtful gifts for this year and tells us why gifting is her love language. Then Maddy and Maria take the reins and finish the show with their own gift guides, along with some tips and tricks for begin your own best shopper this season. Get your notes app ready, you're gonna need it Betch. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gobble gobble, betches. Sami and Jordana are here to distract you from your family this Thanksgiving. They share their holiday plans and then it's onto a royal recap of the first 4 episodes of season 6 of The Crown. Is Camilla Parker-Bowles our new favorite member of the royal family? Were she and Charles star-crossed lovers? Speaking of starbucks lovers, Travis Kelce is gracing the cover of WSJ magazine to tell all about his courtship of Taylor Swift. Will he have a Swiftmas? And wait, there’s more! Tune in to our Black Friday special bonus episode (already in your feed), compliments of Betches' Good at Shopping. Listen to our gifting do's and don'ts and be sure to follow @goodatshopping! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sami and Holly are coming back stronger than a 90s trend today, and they're joined by fellow Swiftie and NBC News Capitol correspondent Ali Vitali. The trio is here to discuss everything from the kiss that broke the internet, to the iconic lyric change, to Travis’s newfound friendship with Mr. (Scott) Swift, and they go deeper into the benefit of young women seeing what it looks like to have a partner who shows up for you. Has Travis finally made it completely uncool to be a f*ckboy? PS. We wanna be your End Game, so Speak Now in the reviews if you enjoyed this and want more, and let us know which famous Swifties you want to join our next episode. And btw (I'm goin out tonight): if you’re willing to trade Eras tour tix with Holly, DM her on IG. Serious trade inquiries only! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s on Sami’s sh*t list? Fire alarms. Listen and you’ll find out what set her off. They begin discussing all the instagram tributes to Matthew Perry by the cast of Friends, which got them discussing: how close is the Friends cast really? Then it was time for some congrats to the Betches team - we’re in Vogue, and got a shout out on the View. We'll be checking the mailbox for our Met Gala invite. North West is back in the news, this time as a self-admitted scam artist. In one of our favorite stories in a long time, Gwyneth Paltrow’s infamous ski accident trial is becoming a musical. Would we fly to London to see it? We’ll see... Jordana and Sami *quickly* touch on Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s Buenos Aires PDA filled weekend, but don’t worry Swifties, we saved most of our commentary for this week’s Speak Now (Betches Version). Speaking of our girl Tay, the 2024 Grammy nominations were announced, and Jordana’s hoping for Ryan Gosling to perform. They wrap up with a quick chat about RHOSLC and RHOBH. As for the Caymans? We’ll send the producer of the Gwyneth Paltrow musical somewhere nice, first class. Five star hotel. Check out our latest promo codes here: https://betches.com/promos Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices