Episode 276: How I Am Dealing With A 7+ Year Troll… And What You Can Learn From It

Personal Podcast Today Lately, I have been getting questions about how to deal with Trolls. You know, those people that get upset at you and start trying to rip apart your character or credibility online? Maybe it is a person that you didn't hire, had to fire, or a client that just went sideways and you parted ways. But it turned them into angry monsters with many heads. Sure, you have heard of the typical ways to handle bad reviews. I've even written about it on my blog. But what happens when they are persistent? What happens when they don't go away or they try to disparage you on all platforms? This recently happened to one of my clients and she was perplexed on how to deal with it. We spoke in depth about it and it was then I decided to blow the lid off something that has been popping up on my own feed for at least seven years. I deal with this too... you just may not (or may?) know about it. I've had someone take something that I said on stage seven years ago and blow it out of context in multiple public forms for years. I've had another person who has a vendetta out for me that takes any chance she gets to say terrible things. (Funny, she has never been a client, but I have coached two of her direct competition to multi six figures and another to almost a million....so there is that.) I've even had another (what could have been) sticky situation that resulted in some crappy things being said online. In this podcast today, I tell you it all. No hold bars. I get real, honest, and vulnerable with you. It is my hope that sharing my story allows you to see that it happens to everyone and that despite their efforts, your business can still grow to multi six or even seven figures =) Links: 20min Consultation with Bella Handbook and Manual  Let's Connect Did you enjoy the show? We would love it if you subscribed today and left us a 5-star review! Click this link – Bella In Your Business Click on the ‘Subscribe’ button below the artwork Go to the ‘Ratings and Reviews’ section Click on ‘Write a Review’' Are You New Here? Welcome, I am so glad you are here. If you are a dog walker, dog sitter, cat sitter, doggy daycare, or kennel owner, then you found the right place. Jump Consulting is the one place on the internet to get all the resources you need for your pet care business. Can I give you some freebies to generate sales and increase revenues for your business? Grab your freebies below. Are you starting out? Been in business for less than two years? Get your startup resources here. Do you own an established pet care business and you want to take it to the next level.? Get Your builder resources here. Transcript: This is episode 276 of Bella in Your Business. The following episode that you’re about to hear is one that I honestly took a minute to think about if I really wanted to post it. I was totally prepared to delete it and re-record something else, which would have been the first time in the 276 episodes that I have done. But one thing I decided is that, one, I’m definitely going to keep it after I did pull a lot of my audience and they really did want to hear some more behind the scenes. But second, something that I did not touch upon that I want to make really clear is I want to encourage you to do your own research and have your own thought process in life. I think sometimes it’s really easy in our overwhelm to just take other people’s words or opinions. But I encourage you to think about whose opinion you are taking. Are they living the life? Are they living the business life? Are they the kind of person that you want to take advice from? Or is it just some random person who you know nothing about online giving you advice? Let that be your prelude to this week’s episode. Thanks for listening. Hi there, I’m Bella Vasta from Jump Consulting. You might know me from CBS, NBC, Fox, Huffington Post, Entrepreneur, or maybe you’ve seen me speak on stage or read my book The Four Dogs That Every Business Owner Needs. In any case, get ready because you’re about to get your hashtag Bella Butt Kickin’ in this next episode of Bella in Your Business. So what do you say? Let’s get ready and jump! Boy, I did some deep breathing before I’m recording this. Welcome to another episode of Bella in Your Business. My name is Bella and today I’m going to be taking this a little bit of a different direction. While we are still going to talk about sales, we’re going to talk about sales and how it applies to trolls. Because I know that a lot of you guys are getting trolls of your own. I actually saw it in a recent Facebook thread and they were asking for help and how they might go about it. So today we’re going to talk about that. Before I actually get into when you get trolls, I’m actually going to blow the lid off of something I’ve been keeping quiet for seven years. Seven years! I’ve had one particular troll—two, actually—for seven years. They are no longer in the Jump ecosystem, of course. They’re not allowed, nor do I think they actually want to be if we’re being completely fair. But they have been saying the same horrible, disgusting things about my business in public forums for seven years. This was not an easy decision to do this. I’m not quite sure if this is even the right decision, but as I did in the divorce podcast and a couple of others, I have started developing such a relationship with you guys that I’ve decided I’m going to keep it real. I’m going to talk about the hard things. I’m not going to sugarcoat things. That is exactly who I am. That’s how my coaching goes. And you know, when you’re trying to “sell,” because at the end of the day all of us want to appear likable, trustable, knowledgeable—know, like, and trust—it’s a little hard. There’s the age-old saying that you turn your other cheek, and for most trolls out there, I would say, yeah, do that. If this is the first time you’ve ever heard that word, it’s someone who kind of goes out of their way online to just trash you. Most of the time, it’s completely unfounded, but it’s kind of a character assassination. And it’s really unfounded. I can’t say that enough. Most of the time, they’ll go away—they die out. But the ones I’m going to tell you about today, for some reason, have some sort of fascination with me. They like to keep talking about me, like I said, for seven years. It all started right about the time I had my daughter, actually maybe a year before that, but we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt and say it’s been seven years. They never seem to let up. They post in various forums—some are just places where people complain, others are spammy, and a few are supportive. I hope you’re part of the supportive ones because you are the people you hang out with. You are what you feed your eyes and ears with. I saw something on Instagram yesterday that said, “If you hang out with five CEOs, you’ll be a CEO. If you hang out with five athletes, you’re probably an athlete. You hang out with five moms, you’re probably a mom. You hang out with five idiots, you’re probably an idiot.” It’s funny but true. You usually have similarities with people you hang out with. Now, my trolls say, “Bella is too expensive.” Yeah, I am. I’m probably one of the most expensive pet sitting coaches in the industry. I’ve never hidden that. But you know what? I get results. It’s not an expense; it’s an investment. Let’s say we do an in-person intensive for $5,000, but that positions your business to increase by $100,000 in a year—yes, please. I’m a for-profit business, a single mom, and I’m entitled to that. They also say, “Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.” I actually think it’s funny because one of my clients jokingly called it “Drink the Bella Kool-Aid.” I even posted about it. But the one that really hurts is when they say, “Bella is unethical.” That’s like someone saying you kick the dogs or don’t show up for pet visits. It’s a character attack. At first, I brushed it off, but after seven years, enough is enough. I’m the least unethical person out there. I’m transparent and vulnerable. I don’t polish everything to perfection. I’m a C student who loves creativity and marketing. Saying I’m unethical is wrong. I’ve spoken to lawyers about it, but cease and desist letters don’t really hold up. You’d have to prove they cost you money, which is hard. So I’m just saying—enough. This all started years ago at the poop scooping convention in Las Vegas around 2012. I gave a talk about marketing and told a story about how, during the 2008–2009 crash, I collaborated with local businesses to give clients free coupons. I told others they could try the same. Somehow, that was twisted into, “She tells people to sell their client list for profit.” That’s ridiculous. You can’t even make real money doing that. But instead of asking me for clarification, this person spread that I was unethical. I’ve got the receipts—screenshots and all. And that’s her gripe with me. It’s sad that people can spread lies like that for years. My advice? Report where you can, rise above it, and remember that people are smarter than you think. Another troll complains that I’m “too expensive” or “my way or the highway.” Well, yeah—I’ve taken a stand. I don’t coach independent contractors. I’ve said it for years. I can’t coach what I don’t believe in. There’s nothing wrong with that. We all take stands. Just like some trainers use positive reinforcement and reject shock collars, I’ve planted my flag. Then there’s the handbook rumor. Back in 2012–2014, I co-created a handbook and manual with a client. We both hired writers and editors. Years later, when I wanted to make sure everything was legally sound, she refused to sign paperwork and told me I couldn’t sell it anymore. Instead of fighting, I rewrote the entire thing—both the handbook and manual—and have updated them yearly with an HR consultant. Every handbook should be reviewed by your lawyer anyway.