Beautiful Stories From Anonymous People

"Day care is wild though, let me tell ya!" It's time to put down a bunch of one-year-olds for a nap and talk with Geth. Married young and facing a divorce in her 20s, this week's caller is ready to have some fun. Geth's advice: She has plenty of time to make mistakes. This episode is brought to you by Hilarious World of Depression, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL).

A mass shooting survivor talks to Gethard about the love, positivity and beauty she has experienced in the year since the real-life nightmare she lived through in Las Vegas. This episode is brought to you by Merge Records (www.mergerecords.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Kopari (www.koparibeauty.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster.

A European nomad with 30% battery and a very full bladder is riding a 'lift' in the Parisian Metro as she chats with Geth (and a live audience in London). She's curious: what's it like to be a man in today's changing society? This episode is brought to you by A Million Little Things on ABC, Calm (www.calm.com/BEAUTIFUL), Caffe Monster, and Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES).

Last time this caller got through she talked about being a marching band teacher. She got through again. This time she gets very detailed about a year of pushing and exploring boundaries. This episode is brought to you by Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com/BEAUTIFUL), Amazon Prime Channels (www.tryprimechannels.com/stories, Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Caffe Monster.

A hard-working mom balancing multiple jobs and school has an inspiring approach to life. Geth tries to find out what it's like when her Cuban side comes out: when she gets mad, she transforms, like The Incredible Hulk, and her soft spoken demeanor gives way to loud and boisterous anger. This episode is brought to you by Warby Parker (www.warbyparker.com/stories), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).

A merch guy tells Geth about sexual experimentation on the road and coming to terms with his desires. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Calm (www.calm.com/BEAUTIFUL).

Is Facebook evil? Can the internet become a more humane and civil place? Beautiful Anonymous's first official cat lady has a suggestion: A Sorry Sally Detector for internet communication. This week's caller has the inside tech scoop-- she worked at Facebook during the 2016 election and is currently at Google. This episode is brought to you by Pact Apparel (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Bombas (www.bombas.com/stories).

A woman studying neurobiology in Toronto talks about her experience overcoming the cultural differences between Saudi Arabia, Canada & America. Get some veggie poutine, this call was recorded live at JFL Montreal. This episode is brought to you by Sun Basket (www.sunbasket.com/BEAUTIFUL), The Hilarious World of Depression Podcast, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Pact Apparel (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/beautiful).

Drugs, rampages, the postal system. This call has it all. Buckle up and enjoy. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Pact (www.wearpact.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Bombas (www.bombas.com/STORIES), and Caffe Monster.

Herding fighter pilots like cats, taking "go pills" to stay focused for long flights, imposter syndrome, "don't ask, don't tell." These are just some of the unique things this active-duty service member has experienced while serving her country and she tells Geth all about them. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/beautiful), and Caffe Monster.

A Cuban refugee met up with Chris in a New York City park. The realities of Jewish life in Cuba, seeing snow for the first time, and falling in love are discussed as flying garbage and passing loud New Yorkers occasionally interrupt. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Third Love (www.thirdlove.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL).

Northern Ireland: come for the apple orchards and beautiful cathedrals, not the disaster tourism. Born to a Catholic mother and Protestant father, this week's caller attended a segregated school where they had more bomb scare days than snow days. She and Geth play a game called "How long can a person from the island of Ireland tell a happy story before a sad detail comes up?" This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Care/Of (www.takecareof.com code: STORIES), Madison Reed (www.madison-reed.com code: PEOPLE), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

In a few days, this caller will turn herself over to federal authorities and begin a multi-year prison sentence. She tells Geth about how she ended up with a federal indictment, getting sober and all the fast food she'll be eating before turning herself in. This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Madison Reed (www.madison-reed.com code: PEOPLE).

A young man who has never told anyone about his sexuality finally does. He and Geth talk online relationships, coming out in conservative parts of the country, and being completely unimpressed by Mt. Rushmore. This episode is brought to you by Halo Top (www.halotop.com), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

A young grandmother with a family tree that involves some unusually complicated math talks with Gethard about rolling with the punches and rising above the obstacles that life puts in her way. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Halo Top, and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com).

We live in a world that can be harsh, brutal and unfair. This week's caller drives around and personally helps kids and parents in difficult situations. (Hint: The caller is not the one who cries on the toilet.) This episode is brought to you by Hearts Beat Loud film, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful).

Freetown Christiania is an area in Copenhagen where there are no laws and anarchy rules. This week's caller is walking there to smoke weed with friends from all over Europe. She tells Gethard about life in Denmark in 2018 on the way. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

Just ten years ago, transgender was a new word for many people, including this caller. When a close family member transitioned, it was a complex and emotional journey. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

A goblin fiction ghost writer and artist at heart has an identity crisis after inheriting a million dollars from a distant uncle. This episode is brought to you by Always Forever Maybe, Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Great Women of Business (www.parcast.com/business).

Raised in a troubled home, with parents who lived a transient lifestyle and a father who eventually ended up in prison, this week's caller was able to rise above his circumstances and now works to give back to the community. Also, a casual debate ensues over the best NBA player of all time (Jordan vs. LeBron). This episode is brought to you by Thomas' English Muffins and Magoosh.

This week's caller tells Chris about the very close relationship she had with her recently passed grandmother. Gethard cheers her up with funny stories and by doing his best Freddie Mercury impression. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas' English Muffins, Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).

How do you become successful in comedy? How do you know when you've made it? In a return to form for Beautiful Anonymous, Gethard chats with an aspiring stand-up comedian about getting out of her own way and making art, even if that means embracing her creepy, pervy side. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL) and Thomas' English Muffins.

Growing up in Northern England, this week's caller became unlikely pen pals with a death row inmate in the American South. That experience, along with an unusual proximity to murder that she describes as a "family quirk", inspired her career path. This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen, Thomas' English Muffins, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.

A political science student and self-described 'Robin Hood of sugar babies' talks with Geth about the significant emotional labor that goes into online sex work and the commensurate earnings. She also discusses her political aspirations, including her ideal running mate (hint: together they'll make money moves). This episode is brought to you by 9 Days and 9 Nights, Thomas' English Muffins, ZipRecruiter, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.

A young man describes three difficult experiences of being sexually assaulted and overcoming drug addiction. It's a raw, honest conversation that is occasionally interrupted by Snapchat notifications and a barking puppy. This episode is brought to you by Thomas' English Muffins, Tripping.com, and The Girl Who Smiled Beads.

Driving 10-12 hours a day buying and selling machinery can lead to challenges like finding a good gym and getting sufficient protein while avoiding fast food. Gethard has a fun chat with two dudes on a long road trip about making major life changes, maintaining positivity after losing loved ones, and creatine farts. This episode is brought to you by Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas' English Muffins, and Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES).

A mother of two talks about her youthful past as a wandering actor and the choices she made to change her life. Geth asks a question in this call that leads to the ultimate "Sorry Sally" moment: How much do Playboy models get paid? This episode is brought to you by Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Thomas' English Muffins, and ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL).

An aerialist turned sex education teacher from Australia chats with Gethard about her life on the road, falling in love and the challenge of explaining consent to high school kids. This episode is brought to you by Thomas' English Muffins.

Stuck between two cultures, a punk rocker calls in from the other side of the world to chat about finding his identity, navigating his country's social norms and tells a story about how hard it was to finish a huge American burrito. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Tripping.com (www.tripping.com/STORIES).

Coping with tremendous grief from a recent tragedy, an astrophysics researcher talks to Geth about black holes, extraterrestrial life and the fate of humanity. This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

A juicy family history, a fast approaching wedding and upcoming gallbladder surgery are on the caller's mind this week and Gethard helps her work through it all. After the call, stay tuned for a 2-year anniversary check-in (and live audience sing-along!) with caller #1, Ron Paul's Baby. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL).

How did this self-described East Coast dirtbag go from selling drugs out of his mom's minivan to doing brain surgery? His answer: Donnie Darko. Gethard asks him some hard hitting questions like: What skills acquired in drug dealing are useful as a brain surgeon? Why did he go vegan? Can he control a monkey's brain with a special USB stick? This episode is brought to you by Mack Weldon (www.mackweldon.com code: STORIES), RXBAR (www.rxbar.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Care/Of (www.takecareof.com code: STORIES).

Ever heard of "granary bread?" Yeah? Then you're probably British, like this week's caller. If not, then get out your malted barley and listen to Gethard celebrate cultural differences with a mother and social media expert from England's rural south. Opening up about difficulties in her past, she says: "you know, it was 14 years ago, but it's still one of those things, when I open my heart to a stranger on the phone, can still make me cry." This episode is brought to you by Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful) and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

With a combined 200 years of life lived, a retired dentist and an amateur artist chat with Gethard about staying creative as you get older, living a fulfilling life, regrets and the fear of death. One key lesson: travel if you can, but skip The Mona Lisa, it's just not that interesting. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Your Mechanic (www.yourmechanic.com/STORIES), and Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES).

Longtime listeners know: math is Chris Gethard's nemesis. A real-life mathematician calls in and gives Gethard the most thrilling math quiz ever on a podcast. (We feel safe making that claim.) He also talks about his struggle with substances in college and getting sober. Geth also tells a never-before-heard story about an unusual religious ceremony in the rainforest, which involves hallucinogens and terrible diarrhea. This episode is brought to you by Burrow.com (www.burrow.com code: STORIES), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL).

Headed to her first chemotherapy treatment after a recent cancer diagnosis, this young woman is naturally a little stressed and nervous. However, spirits are soon lifted in a call that includes stories of haunted apartments, puns and a doctor's note to party. This episode is brought to you by Merge Records (www.mergerecords.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Adam and Eve (www.adamandeve.com code: STORIES), and RXBAR (www.RXBAR.com/stories code: STORIES).

A man narrates his stroll though a Wal-Mart. As he peruses the aisles, from guns to kitchen appliances, the discussion ranges from philosophical to farcical. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful) and Zola (www.zola.com/STORIES).

She does improv, lives in New Jersey and considers herself a "niche person." Needless to say, this week's caller bonds pretty easily with Gethard. She explains what it's like to be on summer break from college and a little boy crazy. This episode is brought to you by ZipRecruiter (www.ziprecruiter.com/BEAUTIFUL), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Stamps.com (www.stamps.com code: BEAUTIFUL).

"If anybody has seen hell, it would be me." What starts as an immigrant success story ends up weaving through prostitution, revenge, tragedy, sexuality, morality and religion. Note that this episode contains difficult topics including sexual violence. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL), and HBO's Crashing.

An art school grad talks about his success working in an emerging technological art form. Then, out of nowhere, something happens in this call that changes everything about Gethard's world. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Audible (www.audible.com/CG), and HBO's Crashing.

Beautiful Anonymous fans called in for a series of brief one minute calls to tell Chris their goals, hopes and plans for 2018.

Can stalking your crush lead to a successful long-term relationship? A young woman tells Gethard about her years-long pursuit. This episode is brought to you by Magoosh (www.magoosh.com code: BEAUTIFUL), Casper Mattresses, Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).

Unsure of her future, a young German woman finds herself in Australia picking cherries with a group of ex-cons & social outcasts. She passes the phone to a fellow picker and mentor of sorts who opens up about finding solace in the wilderness. He shares some practical tips, like how to hunt and cook wild pig. Hint: Don't use a fishing spear. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (www.sonos.com), Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful code: BEAUTIFUL), and Zelle (www.zellepay.com).

The unusual malady that afflicts this caller stirs up a philosophical discussion about how we, as humans, experience and remember our lives and craft our stories. This episode is brought to you by Sock Club, Squarespace, Casper Mattresses, and Zelle.

Gethard has a surprisingly light-hearted chat about death with an expert in the field. This episode is brought to you by Zelle, Talkspace, Hello Fresh, Sock Club, and Brooklinen.

A mother of four tells Gethard about going from med school to motherhood, and how she escaped a troubled marriage with a controlling, manipulative man.

A first year medical student tells Gethard how dissecting dead bodies changed her feelings on death. She opens up about how her mother inspired her to study medicine and some of the worst smells she's encountered, like when she had to dissect a human rectum. Recorded live in Gainesville, Florida. This episode is brought to you by CanvasPop (www.canvaspop.com code: BA50), Sonos (www.sonos.com), and Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful).

A guy got hit really hard in the head. He tells Gethard all about it. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), Casper Mattresses (www.casper.com/beautiful), and Brooklinen (www.brooklinen.com code: BEAUTIFUL).

A bonafide geologist tells Geth about fossilized dung fungi and the behind the scenes secrets of the Museum of Natural History. They also talk about how quickly the Earth is dying and weigh the likelihood of colonizing Mars. This episode is brought to you by Sonos (www.sonos.com), Hello Fresh (www.hellofresh.com code: STORIES30), Audible (www.audible.com/esther).

"You can't give puppies cow vaccines." That's how this caller ends her hour with Gethard. The journey to that moment takes us through: Italian Madrigals, getting licked by a baby cow, going on a tour of a cranberry marsh, and a very personal story about the loss of a friend. All this while she's prepping to perform a show that starts right when the call ends. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace (www.squarespace.com code: CG), Talkspace (www.talkspace.com/beautiful), and Sonos (www.sonos.com).