Gen Z Dating Behavior: This Is Crazy?!

Dive into the wild world of Gen Z dating with Malcolm and Simone Collins on Based Camp! In this eye-opening episode, we dissect a Substack post by steph on Miami’s pickup artist scene, where young men armed with Meta Ray-Ban glasses and cheesy lines are turning cold approaches into content gold. From “friction maxing” to stave off AI-induced cognitive decline, to women stealing Sweetgreen salads and buying drinks for strangers in NYC—dating has never been weirder.

We share practical tips, debunk red pill myths, explore why pickup isn’t really about women anymore, and reveal what romance novels teach us about ideal meet-cutes. Plus, Malcolm’s honest (and effective) pickup strategies from his single days. Whether you’re navigating apps, IRL encounters, or just curious about cultural shifts, this episode is packed with laughs, insights, and warnings for the future of romance. Don’t miss our thoughts on why colleges might still be the best spot for real connections!

Episode Notes

This was inspired by “gen z pick up artists are taking over my city” by a gen z substacker who goes by steph

Choice quotes from the article:

* Erick Ronaldo is one of the many Miami pickup creators making a killing in this market. He’s racked up over 1.3 million Instagram followers teaching young men how to “get dates with 8s and 9s.” For $17 a month, guys can sign up for his Modern Man Bootcamp, which includes three weekly coaching sessions and access to his personal arsenal of pickup lines.

* … “It’s no issue that his flirting techniques sound like they were cooked up by Mickey Mouse. Men don’t follow Erick for his AI-generated rizz — they’re there to watch his aspirational displays of hyper-confident masculinity. “Guys like watching other guys pick up girls because they don’t have the balls to do it themselves,” according to Polokidd, a fellow Miami pickup influencer with 1.6 million followers.”

FRICTION MAXXING:

“Ben, a 27-year-old living in Miami’s particularly flirty neighborhood of Brickell, told me he prefers cold approaching not only because it’s more efficient than waiting around for responses on the apps, but because it’s a great exercise in friction-maxxing. “I mean, you can’t ask ChatGPT to help with a response,” he explained. “You just gotta be yourself and see if she’s into you or not. There’s no better way to improve yourself and stand out as a man, too.””

Note: The term appears to have been coined and popularized by By Kathryn Jezer-Morton, a columnist for The Cut covering modern family life, who wrote an article in January titled: In 2026, We Are Friction-Maxxing: https://archive.is/l5KXr

WOMEN WANT IT (sort of)

“Do women even want to be asked out by a total stranger?

It seems that for most, the answer is YESomgpleaseGODplease* but with some very crucial caveats.

Although there’s no shortage of eager men lurking on the apps and in their DMs, Gen Z women are quite loudly yearning for IRL meet-cutes. The girls are out here stealing Sweetgreen salads, buying men drinks, even doing laps at run clubs — all for a shot at retiring from the humiliation ritual that is online dating in 2026. At this point, landing a response to how’d you two meet? that doesn’t start with a like or swipe is the reigning status symbol of our time.

Alexis, a 24-year-old Miami native, told me she recently deleted all the dating apps in hopes her next boyfriend will come and find her in the wild. While she’s all for men shooting their shot, she does really wish they would work on their aim a bit first.

“I would love to be asked out in person, but not how these Miami guys are doing it,” she says. “It’d be cool if he saw me at a coffee shop and asked what book I’m reading. Maybe he drops a note at my table. I don’t know, I just want the interaction to be genuine. These guys always manage to turn me off.””

This is why men should be reading romance novels and not following pick-up artists.

Or perhaps they can ask AI for a list of all the ways the female protagonists in the top 100 romance novels met their male love interests.

E.g. from Perplexity

High‑frequency “meet” patterns

* Workplace (colleagues, boss/employee, client, rival professional, bodyguard).​

* Friends to lovers (childhood friends, college friends, long‑time colleagues).​

* Enemies/rivals to lovers (professional rivals, family enemies, legal opponents, competing businesses).​

* Forced proximity (stuck in a cabin, snowstorm, road trip, only one hotel room, trapped together on assignment).

* One‑night stand / fling that turns serious, often followed by a surprise pregnancy or reunion.​

* Fake relationship (pretend dating, fake engagement or marriage for social, work, or immigration reasons).​

* Marriage before romance (arranged marriage, marriage of convenience, Vegas/drunk marriage).​

* Best friend’s sibling / sibling’s best friend (meets through family or long acquaintance).​

* Neighbor or new arrival to town (next‑door neighbor, new person in small town, landlord/tenant).​

* Guardian / protector setups (bodyguard, security detail, assigned protector, cop/detective on her case).

* Rescue or crisis (he helps her after an accident, threat, robbery, or during war/disaster).

* Mistaken identity / secret identity (thinks he’s someone else; he’s undercover, royal, or billionaire in disguise).​

* Online or anonymous contact (dating apps, chatrooms, email, texting, online gaming).​

* Teacher/student in adult‑appropriate contexts (grad student and advisor, coach and adult athlete, mentor and trainee).

* Reunions/second chance (exes who cross paths again, high‑school sweethearts, war‑separated lovers).

* Family or wedding events (meet at weddings, engagement parties, reunions, as bridal party members).​

* Travel / vacation (seatmates on planes, tour groups, destination weddings, stranded abroad).

* Shared project / mission (heist crew, investigative partners, saving a business, political campaign, joint research).​

* Sports and performance (teammate, coach, rival athlete, trainer, or someone tied to the sports world).

* Medical or therapy setting (doctor/patient’s relative, physical therapist, trauma counselor, combat medic).

* Supernatural / fantasy bond (fated mates, magical contracts, captor/guard in fantasy kingdoms, paranormal protector).

Typical “how they first meet” scenes

* Accidental collision in daily life (literal bump‑in, spilled coffee, dropped papers, bookstore/library run‑ins).​

* She overhears or witnesses him doing something decisive or heroic (arguing a case, fighting a duel, saving someone).

* He hires her or she hires him (assistant, nanny, consultant, contractor, investigator).​

* She shows up at the wrong place or situation (wrong wedding, wrong room, mistaken meeting).​

* Forced living situation (roommates, house‑sit swap, co‑owners of property, inheritance conditions).​

* He is tied to her family (family rival, guardian, benefactor, cousin’s best friend, sibling’s ex).​

* Crisis services (she calls a tow truck, security, tech support; he’s the responder).

THIS IS NOT ABOUT MARRIAGE, OR EVEN WOMEN, FOR MEN

“Even getting laid, the ostensible end goal of any pickup artist, mostly exists in the abstract. Clavicular may spend his nights roaming Miami’s sidewalks rizzing up ladies for content, but Gen Z’s it-boy of the month says he feels mostly indifferent about the opposite sex — impressing them, dating them, sleeping with them. He told The New York Times a few weeks back that simply knowing he could have sex with a woman is in some ways better than the deed itself, which he gains nothing from.

This new crop of manfluencers may market their content as advice for getting girls, but their messaging tells a very different story. If a woman is referenced at all, she’s a mirror to assess his own standing, a stress test in his quest for self-mastery. Above finding hookups or a connection, the objective here is becoming That Guy. An alpha. A boss. A high-value male. Someone who picks up chicks not because he needs anything from them, but simply because he can.

This is where the Gen Z pickup artist diverges from his fedora-wearing predecessor of the early 2000s. The archetypal pickup artist, for all his ethical shortcomings, was at least pretty clear on the mission: meet women, convince them to sleep with you. They called themselves artists because they treated seduction like a craft, swapping feedback and fresh insights in anonymous forums to help each other understand (and of course manipulate) the female psyche.

The big names in Gen Z pickup are operating under a brand new set of incentives. The tactics they promote don’t necessarily need to work, they just need to hook the guys watching their content at home. In fact, the more insane his pickup line, the more bewildered her reaction, the better his clip will likely perform.”

WHAT WOMEN ACTUALLY WANT

“All the single women I know and have scrolled past in TikTok comment sections are craving the same things: chemistry, understanding, a cinematic story they can flex to their friends over spicy margs. The dating tips being fed to their mate pool just so happens to be optimizing for a very different set of objectives.”

AGAIN: This is why men should be reading romance novels and not following pick-up artists.

Episode Transcript

Simone Collins: [00:00:00] Hello, Malcolm. I’m excited to be speaking with you today because I read this Substack post on Gen Z dating that had me absolutely entranced shocked, surprised, and I feel like it, it tells us a lot about the state of dating potential marriage, romance, where things are going wrong. And even just dating advice and, and how the red pill has evolved over time or pick up artistry in general.

Oh,

Malcolm Collins: interesting. Has, has, has red pill is integrated into mainstream dating?

Simone Collins: No, no, I don’t. It’s so weird. I I, I’m just, we’re gonna jump right into it because I feel like there’s. My mind has been blown on multiple levels, and man, gen Z dating is weird. We’re gonna, we’re gonna include some practical tips in here.

We’re gonna include where things are going wrong, but most interestingly, I think are just the latest trends and how bizarre it is in a world in which dating markets are broken, how are they breaking? How are they getting weird? I never would ex expected these things, [00:01:00] but they also make a lot of sense. So let’s get right into it.

This all came from this amazing piece by a sub stacker who goes by Steph. She’s Gen Z. She writes about Gen Z issues in all lowercase. That’s how she describes herself. And this particular Substack piece is called Gen Z pickup. Artists are taking over my city. She’s in Miami. Or is is your mom Miami?

Miami pickup

Malcolm Collins: artist

Simone Collins: would take over Miami? Not Miami.

Malcolm Collins: Miami is the city of pickup artists. I, I feel that

Simone Collins: they, it’s

Malcolm Collins: disgusting appear there by what’s, what’s the, the word? A a a, a biogenesis. They just like, if you leave like a corner in Miami there for too long a pickup artist just appears if you of virtue your eyes from it.

Simone Collins: Well, it’s so full of, of men, I think, who, who want to have this very certain type of woman. And, and multiple versions of her all at the same time. Like we were out to dinner with one couple in Miami at one point, and they were telling us about this Pilates studio where the, [00:02:00] the, the teacher was approached by this man who’s like, Hey, you, you’ve charged me three different times, like the, this, I’m, I’m gonna contest this.

Where did this come from? And she’s like, well, here are the. The three subscriptions you were charged for. And they were all his mistresses and he was like, oh, nevermind. It’s fine. I, I didn’t realize and that, that is Miami and I just, I, I hate it and it’s disgusting and I’m really glad we’re not there anymore.

Thank goodness all his MIT rest in peace Pilates studio. I know. And I don’t even know it. It’s just fantastic. But yeah, so. This is where it’s being taken over. This is what she’s experiencing. I’m gonna read some choice quotes and, and here we’re just gonna kick it off. Eric Ronaldo is one of the mini Miami pickup creators making a killing in this market. He’s racked up over 1.3 million Instagram followers, teaching young men how to quote, get dates with eights and nines. For $17 a month, guys can sign up for his Modern Man Bootcamp, which includes three weekly coaching sessions and access to his personal [00:03:00] arsenal of pickup lines, and, and she continues a little bit later.

It’s no issue that his flirting techniques sound like they were cooked up by Mickey Mouse. Men don’t follow Eric for his AI generated Riz. They’re there to watch his aspirational displays of hyper confident masculinity. Guys like watching other guys pick up girls because they don’t have the balls to do it themselves.

According to Polo Kid, a fellow Miami pickup influencer with 1.6 million followers.

Malcolm Collins: Now guys watch, like you watch another person play video games, other people go pick up girls.

Simone Collins: Yeah. And that’s what’s happening. So when you go to these guys Instagram pages and TikTok pages, it is, and this is also a thing, the new trend.

They’re wearing those RayBan glasses, the Facebook meta RayBan glasses where they’re recording and they’re walking around Miami with their glasses on record. Just delivering the cheesiest. Pickup lines to women like in one the [00:04:00] guy approaches this woman in a grocery store and she’s looking at bananas and he picks up.

Like a bunch of bananas and she’s like, yeah, I think mine is, my, mine is bigger than yours. And it just goes on from there. And there, there are, are melons involved and a, you know, but, and she’s dressed like a total thought. I mean, they’re, they’re all wearing like extremely mini like, revealing, athleisure, very tight use nothing to the, that’s Miami

Malcolm Collins: for you.

Simone Collins: I know it’s like they’re all asking for it. But it’s actually becoming a problem,

mom.

Malcolm Collins: You can’t say that you’re a woman. You used to be a feminist. You’re the worst

Simone Collins: feminist ever.

Speaker 4: Look, she’s totally asking for it.

She’s begging to get graved.

Speaker 3: Look what she’s wearing. Look what she’s wearing.

Speaker 4: It’s purple.

Speaker 3: Oh, okay.

Simone Collins: I dunno if I’ve ever identified as a feminist. I was certainly braised in that mindset though. But they’re all asking to be hit on, is what I’m saying.

I mean, you, you don’t dress like that without asking to be hit on. [00:05:00] I, I dressed it a certain way because I wanted people to be like, oh, look at you. Ha ha, ha. But. What a problem for actually many of these women or like many women in Miami now, is that if you, especially if you’re attractive and if you’re wearing revealing clothing.

You are just now at risk of some, some Gen Z millennial pickup artist trying to get their views, you know, keeping their views up on Instagram cold, approaching you with their RayBan meta glasses on record without I, I don’t know if it’s a two party consent state. It must not be because they’re not getting sued or whatever, but like they’re just finding themselves going viral on TikTok after like some random.

Person in the street approaches them. And it’s like a genuine problem. Like it’s happening enough because there, it, it, the issue is that now, like a lot of young men are like making their money by getting these subscriptions and, and getting these views. And so it’s this really interesting confluence of, of Instagram and TikTok plus the availability of this like, you know, [00:06:00] very low profile camera you can now wear that is enabling this unique type of pickup artistry.

Malcolm Collins: The film Cow Raybans thing, just taking some pictures of the scs just with my.

Speaker 6: Okay. Glass zoom in. I can hear every word you’re saying.

Okay. Glass. Respond to text. Hey, stormy comma. Yeah. I’m out taking some sweet pics of this dude’s junk period.

Simone Collins: Yes. Actually, and, and it’s it’s insane and I love it. And

Malcolm Collins: No, but hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah. I haven’t seen these, the audience hasn’t seen these. Do they, do they often get the girl, does the girl often tell them to,

Simone Collins: like, that’s, that’s heavily implied.

Okay. Like in in, in the sticky ones, because you know, on Instagram, well, you wouldn’t know ‘cause you’ve like never been on Instagram. But in, in the stickied Instagram posts that they like, it’s sort of like their highlighted content, you know, the best of their portfolio. It certainly implied that like the girls are flirting back and giving them their numbers.

Speaker 7: Who are you? Wait, who are you? [00:07:00] Oh, I was just taking a picture so I could show Santa Claus what I want for Christmas. ‘cause you’re so beautiful. Christmas passed. I know. For next year, you know? Yeah. I’m Eric. Nice to meet you by the way. Vie Bunny, vie Bunny. So you’re from Vietnam, I’m assuming? Yeah. Yeah. Uh, you probably know a lot of Asian.

Speaker 9: Oh my God. Who taught you that? Uh, my friends from high school. They speak, uh, I have a lot of Asian friends. You know that Hold it. What is, what is that? It’s nothing. S trust. I’d be scared if I was holding it. Yeah. And then you spin God damn, you’re big and Asian,. Right. So before I do that, I’m gonna get your number. But yeah, we’re gonna play steak, we’re gonna play blackjack and I’m gonna be 6 7 60 $7. And if I win this hand, I gotta take you on a date. Right.

Speaker 7: You got to.

Speaker 8: I have to.

I don’t want to. I have to. Oh, okay. But they don’t allow,

Speaker 7: you don’t want to?

Speaker 8: No, I need to. And they don’t allow snacks at the movie theater. But you know, I’ll sneak you in.

You. Uh, and my [00:08:00] country week. Kiss goodbye on the cheek. So, all right. Take care.

Simone Collins: It, there is implied conquest, like this has been successful that my.

Masculinity and confidence has won them over in my amazing, really terrible pickup lines. These are really terrible pickup lines. Again, this is like, not subtle. I remember the, the old pickup artistry was very, you know, it’s like, well, this is all about this, this, these mind games, this sophistication, the dread game, the, the nagging, the, the conversations, the logic.

Malcolm Collins: No, no. What was my go-to line?

Simone Collins: What

Malcolm Collins: was. And this is, this was true in college and in high school and after college as well. Mm-hmm. And during summer jobs. I mean, it’s different for each context, but it’s basically of the extent of. I walk up I, I put out my hand to give the shake their hand.

I’m like, hi I’m Malcolm Collins. I’m new here. Either like I just started here, or it’s the beginning of the year. I’m just looking to make new friends. Mm-hmm. And are [00:09:00] you open to chatting? And it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s

Simone Collins: transparent, it’s honest, and it’s. Fine for a cold approach. Yeah.

Malcolm Collins: Right. I, I don’t, I don’t understand like why you would use a cold approach.

That’s not that cold approach. It’s so easy. It’s, it, it, it makes them feel like a, a jerk if they’re like, no, I don’t Like, if, if they’re genuinely not

Simone Collins: Well it, if they’re the kind of person who says no, like, do you honestly wanna. To date someone like that, like no.

Malcolm Collins: Yeah. And then, and you end up not feeling as bad when they say no because you’re like, you know, well,

Simone Collins: like we wouldn’t have gotten along anyway.

‘cause, you know, you don’t wanna date

Malcolm Collins: someone with, with that kind of, or they, they’re doing something else. Right. Resting your ability. It doesn’t hurt when rejection doesn’t hurt as much. Going to the next person doesn’t hurt as much, so you do it faster. Like the moment when it’s like, oh, they just were busy, or something like that.

Mm-hmm. Then you just go to the next person. Right?

Simone Collins: Yeah.

Malcolm Collins: And that was incredibly effective and very easy, and a very good way to rack up lots and lots of contacts. And then you go out with that [00:10:00] person the next time and they’ll bring along their friends and then you meet new people through that.

Mm-hmm. I, I hate how like. Practical, the real world is, and then the first question I’d always ask when I was getting to know someone, I’d be like, well, what is, what is your thing? So like, how do you define yourself? How do you, how do you like to, like, what do you like to be into?

Simone Collins: They’re showing genuine interest in her.

Malcolm Collins: Yeah. Like your thing. If they then say like, well, what do you mean by like, what is your thing? I’m like, well, everybody has some thing that they’re more into than other things or the other people. Yeah. What’s your thing? Right. Yeah. Because then you can talk about the thing that they want to talk about.

Yeah. And then the next one that I always ask. Was like what’s your purpose? Like, why are, why are you here? What’s your goal in life?

Simone Collins: Mm-hmm.

Malcolm Collins: Or what’s your goal in college or what’s your goal? You know, because it’s a deeper question allows us to get to deeper conversations really quickly. And I just, I don’t understand where people struggle with.

I mean, I guess I, I, it was so hard for me at the beginning to, to, to do this. I told you I used to go to in-person malls Yeah. And force myself to go and talk to random girls over and over. And over and over again. And [00:11:00] it is like sticking it literally. I would rather stick my hand on an of it when compared to what that felt like in the early days.

Simone Collins: Excruciating. Yeah. But you, you do it. Actually I think that’s really interesting that you say that because that is one of the reasons actually why some of these young men are doing. What you could call friction maxing. So let me quote another part of her, her essay, Ben, a 27-year-old living in Miami’s, particularly flirty neighborhood of Brickle, told me he prefers cold approaching not only because it’s more efficient than waiting around for his.

Responses on the apps, but because it’s a great exercise in friction maxing, I mean, you can’t ask Chad GBT to help with a response. He explained, you just gotta be yourself and see if she’s into you or not. There’s no better way to improve yourself or stand out as a man too. And I love that. And I also love this subtle implication in what he’s saying and that Gen Z is actually making active attempts.

To make life [00:12:00] harder for them sometimes because I think they understand the the potential of AI to cause early onset dementia, which we’ve seen already in members of Gen Z. I think they’re seeing some of their, their both, they see it in themselves and they see some of their peers literally losing their minds and becoming.

Zombies.

Malcolm Collins: Oh yeah. This way you remove friction from somebody’s life. Like, this is why we’re so pro corporal punishment. This is why we’re so pro you know, the, these forms of discipline and it’s like, you know, trigger warning and everything like that. If you remove the hard parts of your life, your brain begins to like gel gelatin.

Well,

Simone Collins: our, our, our bodies and our minds are in like, just the research attest this so well, or use it or lose it. If you do not use a thing, it will become atrophied and it will die out. Right. And, and so you have to use it And, and I think that. I wanna maybe do a larger episode on this concept of friction maxing.

Just as a note, the term appears to have been coined and popularized by [00:13:00] Catherine Jaser Morton, a columnist for the Cut covering Modern Family Life, who wrote an article in January of, of this year. So this is quite new, titled in 2026. We are Friction Maxing and it’s more about like parenting and how she wants to just, you know, do slightly harder things or like.

You know, wait or just do, do whatever. That’s a little bit harder. Kind of along your point of the importance of there being hardship in childhood. But I think what’s more interesting is that you’re already seeing Gen Z, realizing that this is not just about like, oh, like this is good performative, like I’m tough.

It’s more like this is survival. You have to make life harder, and this, this, this cold approaching is one way. Because as you pointed out, it’s like putting, you’d rather put your hand in it oven and you’d rather like do something incredibly painful. This is one of the most hard, painful things you could do that

Malcolm Collins: this.

So it’s interesting. I, I was going to continue here.

Simone Collins: Uhhuh.

Malcolm Collins: If you’re looking for a modern pickup line that I would use if I was updating today, like what would I be saying to people? [00:14:00]

Simone Collins: Yeah.

Malcolm Collins: I’d literally just go up to people in a public context and I’d be like put on my hand, be like, hi, I’m Malcolm.

I’m trying to meet people in person because I’ve tried meeting people online and I’m never sure if I’m talking to an AI or not these days. And I want to expand my network of real world friends. Do you have. Time to chat or are you interested in chatting? And the reality is, is one that’s a fun conversation starter because the person would immediately know what you’re talking about.

They’re like, oh yeah, that makes sense. Like I can see, you know, if you’re trying to meet people in an online environment, you’re not sure of their ai. And, and now you gotta topic to talk about already. And you could be like, you see. You can’t go back to GPT right now if when you’re coming up with a response to me, so we can actually, you know, get to know each other.

And, and this, this can be a fun initial direction. The conversation, the good thing about having, like go-to pickup lines like this in terms of how you go to people mm-hmm. Is that you begin to sort of master all the directions. The conversation can go really quickly because there’s only so many potential responses [00:15:00] an individual could have.

Yeah. And so in this case, you you, you then just move from here.

Simone Collins: But what, what is also important about this friction maxing thing is a theme of this essay is that these pickup artist men are not trying to pick up women.

Malcolm Collins: Hmm.

Simone Collins: So what we know they’re trying to do is get views. What we know they’re trying to do is get subscribers and people paying for their seminars and their coaching, what we know they’re trying to do in some cases.

And sure, it helps that, like this is a more effective way than waiting for someone on the apps. But we know that they’re trying to essentially just stave off cognitive decline. Mm-hmm. Because it’s a challenging thing to do, you know, like weightlifting. But just put, put a note in that. But to your point about, you know.

Actual practical pickup lines. What Steph points out in her essay is that women do actually want this, but well, sort of, right? So women do actually wanna be cold [00:16:00] approached, but these cold approaches are not what they want. She writes, do women even want to be asked out by a total stranger? It seems that for the most, the answer is yes.

Oh my God, please. But with some very crucial caveats. Although there’s no shortage of eager men lurking on the apps in their dms, gen Z women are quite loudly. Yearning for IRL Meet Cutes. The girls are out here stealing sweet green salads, buying men drinks, and even doing run clubs.

All for a shot at re retiring from the humiliation ritual that is online dating in 2026. At this point, landing a response to how you two meet. That doesn’t start with a swipe or a like. Is the reigning status symbol of our time. Now, I just wanna quickly double click on the stealing sweet green salads, buying men drinks, and even doing laps at run clubs.

The buying men drinks thing, she is referring to one viral social media post where a woman, I think on TikTok. [00:17:00] Explains how she was at a bar and she saw a woman sitting next to her buy a drink for a really cute guy. And she was like, like, oh, you know, I’m gonna order like a gin and tonic. Hey, what do you want?

And he’s like, oh, wow. Thanks. I’ll get this. And so he gets to drink and she’s like, yeah, I mean anything for a friend of Tyler. And then he’s like, oh, I’m, I’m so sorry. I, I think you have the wrong person. I don’t know who Tyler is, and she’s like, oh, don’t worry about it. And he’s like, well, anyway, I’d like to return the favor, like O over drinks maybe another day.

And then they exchanged numbers and she’s like, that girl. I don’t think there was a Tyler, I think that was a really smooth pickup line and it was delivered perfectly.

Malcolm Collins: Anything And, and what’s cool about that girl and the way that she handled that

Simone Collins: Yeah.

Malcolm Collins: Is she didn’t remove herself from the position of a girl.

Yeah. It wasn’t as if mm-hmm. She. Explicitly came onto him? No,

she

Simone Collins: wasn’t buying him a drink. No.

Malcolm Collins: Plausible deniability.

Simone Collins: Mm-hmm.

Malcolm Collins: He’s just a friend of Tyler.

Simone Collins: Yeah. And then he still had the opportunity to then [00:18:00] ask her out for drinks, giving him the ability to do the manly thing, to feel like he’s able to do that manly move and ask her out.

Really, really top tier move. So that that went viral. The Sweet green salad thing is, is funny and she actually links to and I for those you told me about

Malcolm Collins: this. I can’t believe it. This is crazy.

Simone Collins: It is so delightful. This other woman who, who went viral for a. This is deep already into the story. She creates this viral social media post about buying sweet green salads.

But how it happened was she was dating this, this wealthy guy who worked in the financial district in New York, and she was like super crazy about him. He bought her a $3,000 purse and she just thought like, well, clearly he wants to marry me. This is great. Like mm-hmm. You know, I’m, I’m telling my mom all about him.

Like, this is, this is, he’s the guy. And then he starts. You know, the, the, the replies become fewer and far further between. They don’t really see each [00:19:00] other. And then eventually he just ghosts her. And then he discover, she discovers, I think, on online that he is now engaged to another girl. And she is, she’s heartbroken.

So what does she do as she is licking her wounds? Well, she, while dating him sometimes put in some lunch orders for him. Is like part of the group orders that he, he did, I think he worked in like private equity or something in m and a. And so she. She knew where he ordered his double protein salads at Sweet Green, and he was really into health, you know, really into his body.

So both wealthy and vain. I mean, it’s, it’s a girl’s dream, you know, he, he had a great body or whatever, and so she would start stealing his salads while she was on her way to other meetings, she’d, she’d stop by the sweet green. Where he was, you know, awaiting his, his lunch pickup, you know, for the, because she identified the company.

She saw his name on the double protein salad and would just take it ‘cause she knew his order. Well then it turns out over time she, she took a salad and then looked down at it and [00:20:00] realized first name, different last name. This was another guy at his workplace and she was like, oh God, I’ve been stealing some other rich financial district m and a guys.

Double protein salad,

Malcolm Collins: but, but it’s a double protein salad from a rich neighborhood in Manhattan.

Simone Collins: So she looks up on Instagram? Yeah. And it turns out that in fact, he is quite hot. And she, she sends him a DM from her alt account on Instagram saying, Hey, I don’t, I don’t, I, I think I, that there, there may have been some kind of mix up and I may have been stealing your sweet green salads.

Do you wanna punish me? And he’s like, well I don’t, you know, I don’t know who this could be, but you know, if, you know, this might be the ex-girlfriend of another person who shares my first name in the office and. You know, if this were theoretically happening everyone in the office thinks it’s really hilarious.

Malcolm Collins: I was in the office, had already figured out what was happening.

Simone Collins: Yeah, yeah. And long story short, I [00:21:00] think they end up like sexting. That night, which was like exactly what she needed. And then like four months later or something, she just saw him at a random restaurant while she was out to brunch with her friends.

And I think it led to a one night stand or something. It didn’t go anywhere though. But all of that sort of led her to make this very flippant, humorous, hammed up social media post of like. I have discovered the tactic. You just go to a sweet greened and you find in the financial district, you know, where all the wealthy young guys work.

You find the double protein salad and you steal it. And then you, you text the guy and you know, say you’ve been naughty. And it just goes from there. And then that went viral and she then, I think at first she was like, oh, that’s a joke. No one actually takes this seriously. No one would actually do this.

And then she started seeing some. Like news pieces about how Sweeten now has an actual problem of. Y pe women showing up at their locations in the [00:22:00] financial district and stealing people’s double protein salads. So no, no man’s double protein salad is safe anymore.

Malcolm Collins: And

Simone Collins: I’ll,

Malcolm Collins: man, I’d be like, let I, let’s get some of these ambitious girls up here.

Simone Collins: I know, right? So anyway, these, these are the lengths to which women are now going and the, the trends that are emerging through online and viral social media posts from women trying to meet men IRL, and.

Malcolm Collins: I wanna, I wanna take a step back here for guys. Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Simone Collins: Because

Malcolm Collins: these guys who are listening to this and they’re like, oh my God, these women, like, this is horrible.

They they could just find a guy if they weren’t only interested in financial district guys from Wall Street or whatever. Yeah. Like six five people, like

Simone Collins: literally works

Malcolm Collins: for the Yeah. To the guys. I’m like. I understand that dating is hard as a guy because all of the women only want the nine, the, the, the nines and the tens, right?

Yeah, yeah. But also the reality is, is that [00:23:00] for women, biologically speaking, they only want the nines and the tens, and they find you gross. Yeah. From, from their position. You’re, you’re telling them that like, that they are genuinely imagine. You’re a woman, you only find nines and tens attractive.

And every other woman only finds nines and tens attractive. Yeah. And so every woman is going for the same three or four guys. Those guys of course, do not respect women because of this. They are annoyed by this. And they then treat women in a, a negative way as a result of that, while these women are still fighting 20 other women for every one guy and.

That’s not a fun experience either. No. I I, I, I understand that you’re like, well, why can’t you just date a less attractive guy, right? Like, why can’t you just not only go for the nines and tens? And the answer is, is, well, it’s their biology. This is like the, you know, we, we, in. I, I call it like the red pill diaspora.

We make fun of the trans person who’s like, why can’t you just, you know, make [00:24:00] yourself find me hot? Or the fat woman who’s like, well, you know, beauty is just a, a fa you know, you should find fat woman as attractive as non-fat women. And we’re like, that’s not how it works, lady. Like, for biological, evolutionary reasons.

Simone Collins: Yeah. But also I don’t like

Malcolm Collins: fat women,

Simone Collins: also women. The, the batna, the, the alternative to a negotiated offer. For women, a lot of women are just fine being by themselves too. They don’t actually care that much. And also society has taught them to a really great extent, especially these days, that they’re better off without a man.

That once they have a man, then they have a man child that they have to take care of and clean up after. Do all these things for, why would they sign up for that if it weren’t for a nine or 10? Because marriage is framed as such an unattractive prospect at this point. So they’re basically like, I’m fine being alone forever.

If I do wanna end up with a dude, he’s gotta be that really good. And that’s where I came into this, you know, I was like, I’m definitely gonna live alone forever and never get married. I didn’t expect that you existed. So Whoopi for me, I, I found my 10, but [00:25:00] whatever, you know, you, there can’t be that many clones of you.

Yet our children are gonna be total catches, though, if I, if I may toot my own horn a little bit. I, I’ve diluted you a little bit with our children, but not that much. They’re very much you. Anyway, if you wanna join our family matchmaking network. Email us. We actually have it going for all of our collective Basecamp kids.

It’s good there. The other family’s in it, by the way, in terms of like, if you’re looking for good matches for your kids, amazing families, amazing kids.

Malcolm Collins: Yeah.

Simone Collins: Not to digress. But anyway, the point I’m making. Is women are, are, are going through all these links. I should point out that both of these cases, like I was saying, are in New York.

New York is a market where women have to really struggle to get men. In other places, like in Silicon Valley, it’s a little reversed. There are more men really struggling to get women. So this is also a market dynamic thing and this is why you’re seeing these crazy levels of desperation in New York City particularly.

I just wanna point that out, but I do find that those, those stories to be highly entertaining. And [00:26:00] anyway, I’ll con continue with Steph’s okay. With Steph’s essay. Alexis being Alexis, a girl

Malcolm Collins: dating Alexis in New York City. It’s such a terrible place to be. Get

Simone Collins: out.

Malcolm Collins: Yeah,

Simone Collins: yeah. Get out. Alexis, a 24-year-old Miami native told me she recently deleted all of the dating apps in hopes her next boyfriend will come and find her in the wild.

While she’s all for men shooting their shot, she does really wish they would work on their aim a bit First. I would love to be asked out in person, but not how these Miami guys are doing it. She says, it’d be cool if he saw me at a coffee shop and asked about what book I’m reading. Maybe he drops a note at my table.

I don’t know. I just want the interaction to be genuine. These guys always managed to turn me off and this, I, I, I appreciate. I think your pickup lines are good, Malcolm, but I, I think if men really wanna know. What women want in terms of these IRL meet Cutes, which I agree are, are definitely the prestige item for women these days, young women is they should read romance novels or if you can’t tolerate them, [00:27:00] and I don’t blame you, ask AI for a list of all the ways the female protagonists in the top 100 romance novels met their male love interests.

And I can give you. Some, some pictures of high frequency meat patterns from the romance novels that women are reading.

Malcolm Collins: Did you put this together, Simone, or did she.

Simone Collins: I did. So this is, this is me doing a little aside for our young male readers or listeners. You’re

Malcolm Collins: so thoughtful, Simone.

Simone Collins: Trying to

Malcolm Collins: get these guys laid.

Simone Collins: Alright, so here are the high frequency meet patterns in women’s romance novels. If you manage to replicate these, this is what women are hoping for. Okay? And these are not all that hard to replicate, so. Workplace stuff like colleagues or boss, employee or client or rival professionals. That’s a big one.

Bodyguard. That’s another one. Friends to lovers is huge. Like childhood friends, college friends, longtime colleagues, enemies and rivals. Huge people love enemies to lovers. So E, even if you just make it this playful rivalry. I think that’s one of the best flirting [00:28:00] patterns you can have right now. And I loved this as, as a, I always loved this.

I, I like always, always, I, I, I find it very. Appealing forced proximity, like being stuck in a cabin or a snowstorm or a road trip, or only one hotel room, or trapped together on assignment.

Malcolm Collins: These are plausible real world scenarios.

Simone Collins: One night stand flirting that turns seriously. Fake relationship. Oh, people love the fake relationship.

Pretend dating or fake engagement or marriage. For like, oh, did

Malcolm Collins: you do a fake relationship with me? No.

Simone Collins: It’s like, well, oh, I have to like, you know, my parents are gonna kill me if

Malcolm Collins: I know none of these are realistic.

Simone Collins: I’m just giving inspiration. Okay. Sometimes best friend’s, siblings, you wanna

Malcolm Collins: get one of our fans arrested

Simone Collins: or siblings best friend

Malcolm Collins: suggestion,

Simone Collins: a neighbor or a new arrival in town, like, oh, hey, I’m new here.

Some guardian, protect. Yeah. Rescue or crisis, like, you know, he helps you after an accident somehow.

Malcolm Collins: You’re just describing [00:29:00] guy fantasies as well. Every guy wants to walk by a, a burning house with a beautiful woman

Simone Collins: in. Yeah. Yeah. But I think, you know, I men aren’t looking for these opportunities. Let me at least prime people.

Okay. Teacher, student, or you know, adult in in adult appropriate contexts like grad student and advisor. Or coach an athlete or mentor and trainee reunions and second chance, people love that. So go to your high school reunion or whatever, if it’s a good high school, I don’t know, whatever. Family or wedding, wedding events, travels and vacation shared projects and missions, you know, like maybe.

Like a, a, well, I mean in, in the books it’s like a heist crew or investigative partners. But like, it, it could, you know, saving a business, a political campaign, a joint research, things like that. Medical or therapy setting. Of course there’s the supernatural ones, but, but you, you can’t become a vampire, I’m sorry, but like, typical how they first meet scenes.

You could try to, the, the, this is the easiest one to replicate and actually I saw. Recently, like a reel on Instagram or [00:30:00] something of a woman doing this, but accidental collision in daily life, like you bump into each other, there’s spilled coffee, there’s dropped papers, or like bookstore. Bookstore or library run-ins.

Especially like, oh, the books go flying and then you, you’re picking up the papers together and then you, you know, you’re hands

Malcolm Collins: Simone guys cannot do Oh, I understand.

Simone Collins: So what I saw, no, the social media post I saw. Was a, a woman hunting boyfriends in the financial district by having a bag full of limes that she would like trip and drop in like the middle of a crosswalk in front of an attractive guy.

Malcolm Collins: Guys do this. Women won’t

Simone Collins: here. No. Women would like get down and like, and sorry. The guys would like get down and help and be like, guys,

Malcolm Collins: do this. Yes. Women wouldn’t do this.

Simone Collins: I don’t know, I, maybe there’s some way to like bump into women clumsily, but elegantly. Also she overhears or witnesses the guy doing something like decisive or heroic, A

Malcolm Collins: real solution that works.[00:31:00]

Use one of my pickup lines that I told you earlier here after you’ve talked with somebody and you’ve gotten to know them, like what they’re interested in, you’re talking about because there’s something they want to talk about, like their favorite book or something like that. Mm-hmm. Don’t say, what do you want to talk about?

Say like what? Are you most interested in these days? Right? That’s what they wanna talk about. Yeah. And then after that, after you have that conversation, when you’re talking about what are your long-term goals in life? What’s your purpose in life? You can ask them what sort of person. Would you want to date?

Simone Collins: Hmm.

Malcolm Collins: And, and, and if they feel comfortable answering that, and it aligns with your goals as well, you can say, well, that aligns with my goals as well. If you are interested in going on a date, I’m happy to go on a date, but if you just want to chat as friends, I’m happy to do that too. Let me know what you prefer.

And here would be it. Then say something like, but if you would want to go on a date, here is what it would be like. I was thinking I could take you out to x place out X day. Does that work for you? And if [00:32:00] they don’t wanna a date, then they don’t want a date. And if they’re secretly open to it, they’re like, well, I appreciate, as you always say with me, like you always shocked that I was just open and honest and transparent.

Simone Collins: It is so refreshing. Yeah. And I think a lot of people are afraid to scare someone off in scenarios like this. The thing is. If you scare them off with that, then they were never going to be interested. They were never

Malcolm Collins: interested in you to begin with.

Simone Collins: Yeah