American Presidents: Totalus Rankium

Herbert Hoover lives an action packed life full of contradictions. Join us as we try and figure out who this man is. A robber Barron? A great humanitarian? A populist? A progressive? A massive racist? And also, will he be ready for the upcoming great crash?

We found it hard to figure out Coolidge last episode, but maybe this episode will clear things up. Find out what he got up to as president! Oh, and there is a vibrating horse and a rampaging bear in it.

Coolidge may be a man with hidden depths, but if he is, they are ocean-trench deep. Join us as we try and figure out if Coolidge has a dry wit and worked hard to get the top job, or he is a robot with a lot of luck.

Harding was never more popular than the day after he died, and then it all started to go wrong for him. So why has Harding's reputation taken such a battering in the last 100 years. Find out as we continue the Amazing Adventures of Warren and Jerry!

At last we come to harding. Harding may not have stood tall in US history, but he does make a bit of a splash. In this episode we got stuck into what makes Harding an interesting, if not nice man.

Wilson is in the Whitehouse. He has a simple plan: make the USA a better place to live in and stay out of the World War. Oh, and he'd quite like to do some racist stuff also. See which ones he manages!

He is known as the president during WWI, but was there more to Wilson? What about his early life? Did he do anything other than study? Not really, but some interesting stuff happened around him, so join us and find out!

It's not easy to follow a president like Teddy Roosevelt. It's even harder when that Teddy Roosevelt decides that perhaps you are no longer up to the job. Taft was going to find this hard even with his friend's help, now it's unlikely he will survive.

William Taft is an often overlooked president. Possibly because he seemed to sail through life with people shoving doors open for his sail boat (metaphors getting a bit mixed there). But this does not mean he is not interesting! This episode we cover his early life and what was going on in the Philippines at the turn of the century.

Last time TR seemed to do just about everything there is to do - now he is off to war! Find out how he achieved fame in Cuba and goes on to become the president against his own parties wishes. NOTE - in our excitement, we added his score wrong - take 1 point off what we say at the end. EDIT: Episode edited and updated. In the orginal Lieutenant Ord's ethnicity was incorrectly identified as black. Two lines that Rob says has been edited to make sure it is clear he was white. These changes do not change the narrative of the episode.

Where do we start with Theodore Roosevelt? We decided on his birth, but it's a struggle fitting everything in after that. Join us as we look at arguably the most action packed life of any president!

William McKinley is not winning any points for being an interesting person (literally - spoilers) but he did live in interesting times. Join us as we manage to skirt round diving in depth on tariffs and instead discuss The American-Spanish war, the lesser known American-Philippine war and William’s fun day out at the fair.

We are back up and running after a pesky pandemic knocked us down for a bit! Recording from our individual homes, we cover the early life of William McKinley. Is there more to this man than he loved a tariff? Join us as we revisit Haye's diaries and Rob introduces Jamie to the joys of Bruce Springsteen!

Did you know that the United States of America was ruled by an emperor for 21 years during the 19th century? Well, it was. This is a one off special episode on the amazing Emperor Norton I while we try to get to grips with recording while on lockdown.

Just a little update to let you all know how we are and what our plans are.

We are half way! And what better way to celebrate than to chat through our rankings so far with the wonderful Jerry Landry from the Presidencies Podcast. Not only that, but we answer your questions (read in a variety of different accents by Jamie!) What more could you want?

Benjamin has navigated through a life full of war, politics and cucumbers, but now he faces his biggest challenge: to live up to his grandfather's memory and lead the United States as president. However, it would appear the solution to everything is... tariffs! Listen while Rob attempts to convince Jamie that talking about tariffs is important!

Benjamin Harrison is the grandson of a former president, but that does not mean he has it all easy. He has to contend with forbidden cucumbers, William Wallace and grave robbers before he can even start to think about becoming president himself.

Big Steve is now in the white house, and he has his mind on one thing: his dead friend’s daughter. Once married however, he settles down to some good old fashioned tariff debate. Don’t worry though, we talk about plenty of other things: ballbat, the new colossus, rail strikes and open yacht surgery!

Grover Cleveland, or Big Steve to his friends, wanted to be a lawyer. So when he uncle gave him the opportunity he went for it. From then on he goes from one job to the next until he finds himself president! Shame about all the skeletons in the cupboard…

Chester Arthur finds himself the first unwilling president of the United States. The bad news: He has done nothing but embrace a corrupt form of government his whole adult life - and now finds himself pushed to the top by a man who killed another president to allow this system to continue. The good news: He has a mighty moustache. Let's see how we rank him!

Arthur is not the most well known of presidents, but that does not mean he did not achieve much in his early life. Who else managed this level of corruption? Who else could claim to benefit from the patronage system so well? Who else was so much of a Conkling man? He may be a coaster, but damn it, he could coast like the best of them.

Garfield is now president and is ready to deal with all the issues facing modern America. We spend this episode looking into how he deals with the corruption that is rife within the political - Hang on! What’s that!? Looks like we have something else to focus on this episode…

Our first Viking president! it's James Garfield. He is not very well known, but perhaps he is a hidden gem. Find out how his adventures on the seven seas went, his time during the war and discover just exactly why that money was 'resting' in his account.

We are very lucky this week to be talking to the writers of the amazing 1865 podcast, an audio drama set in the aftermath of the assassination of Lincoln. Steven Walters and Erik Archilla have spent years getting into the heads of the characters of that time, including Lincoln and Johnson, so we decided to ask them their thoughts on the two presidents we have ranked best and worst so far respectively.

Hayes has lived a life of happiness, kittens and rainbows so far - but now the Rock of Hayes’ optimism is about the hit the Hard Place of post war America. Something will have to give: either Hayes’ sunny perspective on life, or an increasingly corrupt, racist and divided govenment. Take your bets…

Rutherford B Hayes may not be the first name that comes to mind when you think of presidents, but he was the first with a good beard. He also, in his own words, was the sunniest man around. No event is too tragic for Rutherford not to meet with a smile and a note in his diary. Find out just what he was so cheerful about!

AUDIO: It would seem Jamie's mic dropped out during recording resulting in him seemingly recording his part from a small tin box. I've done the best i can to boost he volume, but I'm afraid he is a bit quiet throughout. Grant has won the civil war for the US, but now the peace needs to be won - and that apparently is a lot harder job. Surrounded by corrupt businessmen politicians, Grant wants to use his presidency to make the country a better place. But unfortunately the real world gets in the way...

During the Civil war, Lincoln needed someone, anyone, who would fight. Enter a general with a Greek name, a taste for drink and a 'bigger picture' attitude. Known as Hiram, Ulysses, Sam, 'Unconditional Surrender' and 'The Butcher', Grant went by many names, but who was he? Find out!

The country is torn apart, the war may be over but the president is dead - in steps Johnson; it is up to him to make sure that all the pain and suffering is not for nothing- that the country can learn from its mistakes and move forward. Sorry, he’s doing what? Oh dear…

There was once a man born to humble beginning who managed to rise up and lead a nation through its most troubled times. His name was Lincoln. Johnson was born to humble beginnings also. About the same time as Lincoln. So he'll be as good. Yeah?

The war is on! The south want to secede and carry on enslaving people, the north want the south to stay (and mostly carry on enslaving people). However, Lincoln is more and more thinking that this whole slavery thing is a bad idea. If only he could get at least one half decent general and win the war, perhaps he could put an end to it…

It's a big one! A young axe-wielding turkey-murderer set out one day to find his fortune - little did he know that his path would lead him to become the president of a country on the verge of civil war. But just how did Abraham get there? How was he with the ladies? Did he tell a ripping good yearn? was he really all that honest? Find out in this week's Totalus Rankium (With improved sound!)

Often ranked among the worst of presidents and one of the people who helped bring on the civil war - find out just why this is as Rob explains it to an increasingly angry Jamie.

James Buchanan has not gone down too well in history. His name is synonymous with the onset of the civil war. But was he really that bad? Well... quite possibly. But just how bad? I mean, his early life, surely that was not too bad? Find out in this week's Totalus Rankium!

The country is divided, his party is divided, and he has just lost his last son. Pierce has a mammoth task ahead of him - unfortunately for the country, his party, and himself, he is no mammoth hunter. In this episode we cover how Pierce managed to make a couple of moves that does nothing but put the country in more peril.

We have found another genuine American to have a loo over our scores and share a few thoughts. This time it is the very charming and Interesting Jerry Landry from the Presidencies podcast and William Henry Harrison Podcast. Check out his podcasts here: http://presidencies.blubrry.com https://itunes.apple.com/gb/podcast/harrison-podcast/id1139467567?mt=2

It’s time to look at the fun loving Franklin Pierce. He loves nothing better than rough-housing his friends, having a drink or two and denying the rights of people who wish that slavery didn’t exist, all the the name of unity. What a fun guy! Find out just how exciting his military career was, and just why he seemed a little stressed on his first day as president.

Fillmore did not get off to the best of starts last episode, so he has a lot to do to win us round this week. Let’s hope he doesn’t sign into law something that enforces a systemic enslaving of an oppressed people, or something like that…

We move on to one of the lesser known presidents in US history. But was this man overlooked? does he deserve more spotlight? ... Probably not. But we are doing them all, so he gets his episodes!

Taylor has come out on top during the Mexican war, and now is primed to become president. However, Polk hates him, his wife doesn’t want him to get the job and the Whigs are nervous… Is Taylor whiggy enough? Will he follow their plans? Will he tow the party line? And, this is important: will he drop down dead after a month like their last guy?

Who's that man in the tatty hat sitting in the corner? Why, It's General Taylor of course! In between freaking out young officers in his army due to being a master of disguise, Taylor led an interesting life full of tales of death and love. Find out about his life up to the end of the Mexican war in part 1!

Polk is now in office and the youngest man ever to be so. He has declared that he will only serve one term, but he is determined to make his mark. In fact, he has a list: 4 things he wants to achieve. He is sure he can win the eternal fights, but can he take a large chunk of land off both Mexico and Britain at the same time? Find out! Also, in this episode, we recommend the Presidencies of the United States Podcast.

Polk was born a sickly child (perhaps with a massive head) His parent feared the worst, he couldn’t even hold down his job in the local shop. So how did he go from this to president? Did it involve hard work? Yes. Did it involve luck? Yes. Did it involve someone sticking a sharp implement somewhere near where the sun is known not to shine? Most definitely.

Ok, so he didn't do great last time, but now he is president, and with that comes the opportunity to wow us. Find out how he annoyed pretty much everyone, including his children, until he finally went away! Also: was he a pervy old man? Did he contribute to the almost-collapse of the republic? Did he have a *ahem* massive cannon? Find out!

So Harrison is dead. John Tyler is at home playing marbles (or spike-ball), completely unaware that his life is about to change forever. But how did he get to this point? And, the question on everyones lips, what exactly did Tyler get up to during John Tyler's Glorious Military Career? Join us for part one of his life.

The stage is set: the war hero William H Harrison is ready to take the country into a new golden age. The spoils system: Gone! Jacksonian policies: Gone! Time to set the country on the right track… cough cough cough

We now come to one of the most famous and inspiring leaders in US history - the one all the history books are about, the one that- sorry? Lincoln’s later? Oh. I suppose it’s William Harrison this time then. He is famous for one thing, and one thing only. But at time of recording, Jamie does not know what that is. This episode however, we look at his early life: His time as a apprentice Dr, his time in the army, his dealings with Tecumseh, and obviously - his log cabin.

He didn’t do too badly in our first episode. But now Van Buren is at the top, and can he stay there? Everything is looking good: he has a new party behind him and the support of Jackson, surely nothing can go wrong. Whats that? The money isn’t working anymore? Why not? Oh, that’s not good, is it?

This week we visit the sleepy village of Kinderhook and see what is going on there. What’s this? A tavern with an ambitious, well dressed boy tending bar? With dreams of re-creating his beloved Republican party? See how this boy becomes the ‘Little Magician’ and places the First Democratic President in the White House.