Aeon Byte Inner Sanctum of Gnosis Podcast

By Robert Conner Thanks to a recent circular letter to Catholic bishops we may be a step closer to understanding a central mystery of Christianity, the resurrection and ascension of the Lord Jesus Christ! This surely qualifies as the bigliest not fake news to come down the pike in the last two millennia, a landmark revelation that opens an exciting new era in theological transparency. I have little doubt that the implications of this papal epistle will seize the attention of New Testament scholars worldwide. According to the Catholic News Agency (June 11, 2017) the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacrament, one of the principalities of the Vatican, has reaffirmed that communion wafers must be made of wheat and must contain at least trace amounts of gluten. The divine science behind this stunning disclosure leads inexorably to the most amazing breakthrough in Christian science since the days of the foremost Doctor of the Church, Saint Thomas Aquinas. But first a bit of indispensible background. In a passage where Jesus predicts his death, Jesus likens himself to a “grain of wheat” —“Truly, truly, I tell you, unless the grain of wheat [sitos] falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single [seed]…” (John 12:24.) Although sitos had a broad application to grains or bread, when applied to grain consumed by humans it is understood to mean wheat (Montanari, The Brill Dictionary of Ancient Greek, 1918) and according to the divinely inspired gospel of John, Jesus His Own Damn Self is the bread from heaven—“For the bread of God is the bread that comes down from heaven and gives life to the world.” (John 6:33, NIV) Following the logic of this heaven-sent recipe, Jesus, the Bread from Heaven, is definitely whole wheat bread, hence the gluten requirement. Despite the fact that humans have been avidly cultivating and consuming wheat for around 12,000 years, and that grain cultivation is the purported basis for civilization itself, about 1% of the population has a genetically mediated allergy to gluten, a protein component of wheat that has resulted in the well-publicized Ginormous Gluten Panic of recent years. Given the deleterious effects of gluten on a segment of humanity in urgent need of salvation, some Catholics have quite naturally campaigned for gluten free communion wafers. Nevertheless, the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Discipline of the Sacrament has decreed that Eucharist crackers must contain at least some gluten and once some basic characteristics of gluten are understood, the reason for their decision is as obvious as a frontal skull fracture with brain tissue leaking out. According to the Apostle Paul, Christians must keep eating Whole Wheat Jesus until His Big Return—“For whenever you eat this bread and drink this cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” (1 Corinthians 11:26, NIV) The connection between bread and the Lord’s death and resurrection is significant in several ways. When the Lord appeared post mortem to the disciples on the road to Emmaus they did not recognize him until he broke bread with them, a clear allusion to the real presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharistic bread—“‘It is true! The Lord has risen and has appeared to Simon.’” Then the two told what had happened on the way, and how they recognized Jesus when he broke the bread.” (Luke 24:34-35, NIV) Significantly, the viscoelastic properties of gluten give “elasticity to dough, helping it rise and keep its shape and often gives the final product a chewy texture.” (Wikipedia, look it up!) Jesus’ gluten content is the clearest scientific reason for the post-resurrection retention of his shape and texture, to say nothing of his rising—“Touch me and see! For a spirit does not have shape and texture as you see that I have.” (Luke 24:39, my translation.) The announcement that the Bread from Heaven had risen and had appeared in solid form was therefore a foregone conclusion given its r...