A Slight Change of Plans

Kristin Neff is a psychologist and the author of "Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself." Her pioneering research busts cultural myths about self-compassion and shows it’s an effective motivational tool. In this episode from the archives, Kristin talks with Maya about how to get past the idea that caring for ourselves is selfish and offers simple practices for being kinder to ourselves. If you enjoyed this episode, we recommend this one from the archives: “The Science of Our Inner Voice.” Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For many years, writer Jennifer Romolini prided herself on her work ethic. She climbed to the top of every corporate ladder and worked 60 hours or more every week. But after an unexpected health crisis, Jennifer realized her ambition had turned toxic. Maya and Jennifer discuss the perils of aiming for a one-size-fits-all version of success and the benefits of redefining ambition for yourself. For more about Jennifer, check out her memoir, "Ambition Monster." You can follow Maya @DrMayaShankar on Instagram.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Soon after giving birth, writer Sarah Ruhl developed a severe case of facial paralysis. The left side of her face drooped, she couldn’t blink or raise her eyebrows, and she could no longer smile. Sarah shares what it was like to lose her smile and how her relationship to her face, and with her loved ones, has changed over the years. You can follow Maya @DrMayaShankar on Instagram.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A few years ago, Maya experienced a heartbreaking change in her personal life, while on her way to trying to become a mom. Two days after it happened, she felt the need to process it out loud, like so many of her guests have done on her show. In this episode, Maya asked her producer, Tyler, to interview her about her own “Slight Change of Plans.” You can follow Maya @DrMayaShankar on Instagram.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tommy Caldwell’s near-death experience unlocks a completely new state of mind that propels him to become a record-setting big wall climber. We'll be back with new episodes in your feed later this fall, but in the meantime, enjoy Maya's conversation with Tommy Caldwell, one of our favorite episodes from the archives. Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psychologist Jamil Zaki studies the science of human connection and he believes cynicism is holding us back. Cynicism isn't just harmful for our health, he says, it’s also misguided. He talks to Maya about a powerful, alternative mindset that can help: what he calls “hopeful skepticism.” For more on hopeful skepticism, check out Jamil Zaki’s book “Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness.” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sometimes, even when things go precisely as you hoped they would, change hurts. Writer Kelly Corrigan talks to Maya about wrestling with the reality that her daughters' childhood was ending, and that her role as their parent had to transition, too. In this conversation from the archives, Maya and Kelly reckon with the question of what parents and children owe each other. For more on Kelly, check out her podcast, "Kelly Corrigan Wonders" and her PBS show, "Tell Me More." See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

U.S. track star Gabby Thomas recently won three gold medals at the Paris Olympics. To celebrate, we’re sharing Maya’s conversation with Gabby that took place shortly after the athlete’s Olympic debut in Tokyo. Gabby explains why her relationship with running isn’t as straightforward as you might think, and how competing interests have continually led her to question whether running is the path she wants to pursue. Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Just a few days after Kelsie first talked with Maya for the podcast, Kelsie's husband, Chris, was rushed to the hospital after he didn’t wake up from a nap. He died a few days later, as a result of complications from ALS. Eight months later, Kelsie reached out to say she wanted to share what life has been like for her since then, as she handles a new phase of mourning—what she calls “quiet grief.” To hear more from Kelsey, check out her podcast, “Sorry, I’m Sad.” If you want to hear more experiences of caregiving, you might also enjoy our episode, “I Gave Up Asking 'Why Me'?” Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Kelsie first met her co-worker Chris, she fell hard. They soon fell in love, got married, and had two kids. But then, Chris received a devastating diagnosis. In conversation with Maya, writer Kelsie Snow explores the complex grief of being both a wife and caregiver. Note: this is part one of two conversations with writer Kelsie Snow. It was recorded in September 2023. To hear more from Kelsey, check out her podcast, “Sorry, I’m Sad.” Connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A lot of chronic pain isn't actually caused by structural issues with the body, says psychotherapist Alan Gordon. Instead, it's often the brain misinterpreting safe bodily signals as dangerous. Alan joins Maya to explain a novel, research-backed approach to coping with chronic pain and guides her through an exercise to alleviate her persistent knee pain. To learn more about Alan's work, check out his book "The Way Out: A Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven Approach to Healing Chronic Pain." If you liked this episode, listen to this one from our archive: “Getting My Silence Back.”See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Motherhood can be a time of profound internal upheaval, says clinical psychologist Molly Millwood. Molly offers an honest look at the transition into motherhood, drawing from scientific research, stories from her private practice, and her own experiences as a mother. She and Maya talk about how to navigate the grief, guilt, ambivalence, and other disorienting feelings that can often come up for new moms. For more on Molly, check out her book “To Have and To Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma.” If you liked this episode, we recommend listening to “The Devastation of Things Going Exactly to Plan.” Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Swimmer Yusra Mardini grew up in Syria and dreamed of one day representing her home country at the Olympics. But when the civil war in Syria intensified, she fled the country and had to put that dream on hold. After escaping to Europe, she faced an unexpected opportunity. Yusra tells Maya the harrowing story of how she made it to safety, and then to the Olympic stage. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brad Snyder was part of the U.S. Navy’s most elite bomb squad. In his role, he was rewarded for his intense independence. But after a bomb blast left him blind, he had to relearn how to depend on others. He talks with Maya about how embracing vulnerability helped him reach his dreams. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Swimmer Missy Franklin won four gold medals at her first Olympics. But as she trained for her second trip to the world stage, her mental health began to crumble. With so much to defend, the pool suddenly felt like a pressure cooker. She talks with Maya about coping with defeat and how she learned to value her identity outside of sports. To hear more from Missy, listen to her podcast with Katie Hoff, Unfiltered Waters. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We recently shared a conversation between Maya and Brené on A Slight Change of Plans where they talked about Maya's appearance on Brené's podcast, Dare to Lead. Today we are sharing that conversation with you! In this episode of Dare to Lead, Brené and Maya discuss how unexpected changes can disrupt our paths, challenge our identities, and require us to build new ways of navigating the world. They delve into the science behind change and its impact on how we live, love, and lead. Check out Brené's Dare to Lead podcast wherever you get your podcasts. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Brené Brown is a bestselling author and social scientist known for her work on complex emotions like shame and vulnerability. She opens up to Maya about the evolution of some of her most important identities: big sister, recovering perfectionist, and reluctant public figure. She also shares how COVID affected her marriage, her struggles with social media, and how she's redefining ambition. If you liked this episode, check out Maya on Brene’s podcast Dare to Lead.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In part two of Maya’s conversation with writer Suleika Jaouad, they talk about Suleika's epic road trip following her cancer treatments and her friendship with a man who spent half his life on death row. She also shares how she's choosing to live her life in light of a recent diagnosis that's left her in a more uncertain place than ever before. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Suleika Jaouad was diagnosed with an aggressive form of leukemia when she was 22 years old. In this special two-part conversation, she talks with Maya about why she sees survival as a creative act, the problem with narratives that frame illness as a "hero’s journey," and the messy space that exists between illness and wellness. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Becky Kennedy is a clinical psychologist known for her popular parenting advice. She talks with Maya about how shifting to a mindset that children are “good inside” can improve parent-child relationships and make for long-lasting behavior change. Becky explains why her approach can help us navigate all kinds of relationships in our adult lives—with our co-workers, friends, and family members—thanks to simple practices like the "most generous interpretation." If you enjoyed this episode, you may enjoy "What Children Can Teach Us About Creativity". Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alison Gopnik is a developmental psychologist who studies childrens' brains. She talks with Maya about how kids' exploratory approach to problem-solving can show us how to better tap into our creative potential. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Shortly after Laura Cathcart Robbins had her second child, she developed a crippling anxiety disorder and severe insomnia. Within a few years, she was addicted to sleeping pills. Laura was ashamed because she felt like motherhood came so much more easily to her friends. And so, for years, she kept her addiction a secret. Then one day she reached a breaking point. If you enjoyed this episode, try this one from the archive: “Jason Isbell Finds Peace With His Past.” Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're back with new episodes starting April 1. Brené Brown joins Maya for a fireside chat about their messy, flawed selves. Psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy reveals a game-changing strategy for fostering better relationships. Plus, we share inspiring stories of change from people weathering difficult transitions, including a writer diagnosed with cancer in her early twenties and a new mom struggling with addiction. Their stories are full of candor, awe, and hard-won wisdom, and we can't wait to share them with you. For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We're not great at knowing what makes us happy, says Laurie Santos, host of "The Happiness Lab." Laurie joins Maya for a wide-ranging conversation about the latest happiness research and her favorite happiness-boosting strategies. They also discuss how much of our happiness is hard-wired, if there's such a thing as thinking about happiness too much, and what you should know if you ever feel guilty feeling happy, given the state of the world. For more on Laurie, check out her podcast "The Happiness Lab." If you liked this episode, try this one from the archive: “The Science of Happiness and Change.” Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Unexpected change like an accident, an illness, or a relationship that suddenly ends is inevitable -- and disorienting. On this heartfelt and optimistic episode of TED Talks Daily, Maya shares how these challenging moments can inspire transformation, offering three questions to ask when facing uncertainty, so you can let go of rigidity and embrace change. TED Talks Daily is a daily podcast that sparks your curiosity. Every weekday, host and journalist Elise Hu brings you thought-provoking ideas on every subject imaginable — from Artificial Intelligence to Zoology, and everything in between. Listen in as the world's leading thinkers and creators change your perspectives, ignite your mind, and learn something new. You can get TED Talks Daily wherever you get your podcasts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Modupe Akinola is a psychology professor and an expert on stress. Modupe argues that a simple change in our mindset can turn short-term stress into a helpful resource. She walks us through strategies to better understand, and cope with, stress. Enjoy this rebroadcast (and take a few deep breaths while you listen!) and we’ll be back in March with new episodes. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psychologist Marisa Franco is an expert on friendship and talks with Maya about research-backed strategies to make new friends, deepen our existing relationships, and navigate friend breakups. This conversation was one of our most popular ones and so we’ve decided to revisit it during a time when it’s been hard to feel connected to others. We’ll be back in March with new episodes! For more on Marisa's work, check out her book, “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends." Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Our daily habits are the key to reaching our long-term goals, argues writer James Clear. His bestselling book, "Atomic Habits," distills the most compelling research on how to break bad habits and form good ones. He talks with Maya about how our habits shape our identity—for better or worse—and how to design our habits so they actually stick. To explore more of James' work, including his book and newsletter, check out his website. Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psychologist Adam Grant stops by to talk with Maya about his new book "Hidden Potential: The Science of Achieving Greater Things." They talk about how to filter out unhelpful feedback, the benefits of imperfectionism, and why we need to give soft skills more respect. If you enjoyed this episode, check out Adam’s first time on the show: “Adam Grant Thinks Again.” Sign up for Maya's new newsletter here https://bit.ly/41lPqaZ and follow her on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When Banafsheh Rashidi gave birth to her daughter, Saba, she immediately conjured up vivid images of Saba's future: passing the driver's test, graduation, and maybe even a wedding. But when Saba received a significant medical diagnosis, Banafsheh's dreams were upended. She talks to Maya about how she redefined success for her family on her own terms. If you enjoyed this conversation, you might enjoy our episode with first responder Christy Warren. She’s another guest who started out as a listener of the show. The episode is called “A First Responder’s Call For Help.” For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gretchen Rubin is an author and podcaster with a passion for helping people become happier. One of the biggest lessons she's learned in her decades-long study of the subject is that there's no one-size-fits-all hack to finding happiness. Gretchen talks with Maya about how important it is to tailor our approach based on what she calls the "four tendencies," or personality types. If you enjoyed this episode, try this one from the archive: “The Science of Our Inner Voice” For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hal Hershfield is a psychologist who studies the emotional connection we have to our “future selves." He talks with Maya about tactics we can use to strengthen this connection, and why it matters. If you enjoyed this episode, try this one from the archive: “The Science of Self-Compassion” For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sonia Vallabh had just lost her mother to a rapid, mysterious brain disease. And then, she found out that the disease was genetic. Doctors told her there was a 50-50 chance she had inherited the same rare genetic mutation that killed her mom. Sonia tells Maya how she managed a torturous state of limbo, and how what followed led her to the cutting edge of science. Get involved at https://www.prionalliance.org/ For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For an extra dose of awe, we're revisiting our conversation with author Michael Pollan. He chats with Maya about the fascinating science of psychedelics and how plants have the power to change our minds. Michael also gives us a glimpse into his personal experience with psychedelic trips and tries to convince scaredy-cat Maya to give them a try. For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Shira Gabriel is a psychologist who studies the science of human connection. In recent years she’s turned her attention to collective effervescence, a feeling we get when we experience something transcendent with other people. If you've ever been to a concert or a political rally, you've probably felt this type of awe. Shira explains the many mental health benefits of collective effervescence and why it's easier to seek out than you might think (spoiler alert: you can still experience it even if you don't like big crowds!) If you enjoyed this episode, you might also like our recent interviews with Dacher Keltner and Min Kym. For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When world-renowned musician Min Kym first picked up a violin, she knew immediately that it would define her. And it did…until one day, in a London train station, everything changed. For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Psychologist Dacher Keltner shares the science behind the mysterious, powerful emotion of awe. He and Maya discuss where we can find awe in our everyday lives, including one common but surprising source. Dacher also explains how awe can boost our well-being and potentially influence psychological traits such as openness and resilience. This is the start of our three-part series on Awe. To learn more about Dacher's work on awe, check out his book "Awe: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life." And If you enjoyed this episode, try this one from the archive: “How Psychedelics Can Change Our Minds” For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’re back with a new batch of episodes starting October 23. To kick things off, Maya does a deep dive into the emotion of awe. She talks to experts about where to find it, why it matters, and the powerful effects of experiencing it with other people. And, as always, you’ll hear stories about navigating the uncertainty that comes along with change. Maya talks to people fighting insurmountable odds, including a woman forced to grapple with the news that she has a 50-50 chance of carrying a deadly genetic mutation. For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

While we prepare new episodes to share with you in October, Maya wants to highlight a conversation from the archives with rock climber Tommy Caldwell. Tommy talks to Maya about how a near-death experience unlocked a completely new state of mind. His new mindset propelled him to become one of the greatest rock climbers of all time. If you enjoyed this episode, Maya suggests you check out this one next: “The Thai Cave Rescue”. To get a behind-the-scenes glimpse of the show, you can connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

New episodes are coming your way in October, but in the meantime Maya wanted to share her conversation with renowned chef Christine Ha. When a rare neurological condition left Christine legally blind by age 24, she worried she might never be able to cook again. Her story shows the power of imaginative courage in the face of change. If you enjoyed this episode, you can watch Maya’s TED talk here, which also features Christine’s story. You might also like the episode “The Science of Motivation”. In the meantime, you can connect with Maya on Instagram @DrMayaShankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Maya was honored to deliver a commencement address at the Juilliard School earlier this year. As an alumna of the school’s pre-college division, Maya shared three pieces of wisdom with new graduates that she wished she’d known at the time. She thought you might like to hear them too! We’ll be back with new episodes later this October! In the meantime, you can connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShankar. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The story of John Elder Robison is one of Maya’s favorite episodes and it’s also a top choice in our listener favorites series. John is a gifted sound engineer whose rare ability to understand machines propelled him to work with the likes of Kiss and Diana Ross. But the one thing he always felt was lacking was his ability to understand people emotionally. In an effort to see if he could change that, he volunteered to participate in an experimental brain study. If you enjoyed this episode, Maya suggests you check out this one next: “Life After Escaping Captivity” We’ll be back with new episodes in the fall. In the meantime, you can connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShanker. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For our listener favorites series, many of you mentioned Amanda Knox’s story. She was just 20 years old when she was found guilty of a crime she did not commit — the murder of her roommate. Amanda spent four years in an Italian prison before she was finally exonerated and allowed to return to her life back home in the U.S. But she soon discovered that that life didn’t exist anymore. If you enjoyed this episode, Maya suggests you check out this one next: “The Woman Who Changed Warlord Joseph Kony’s Mind” We’ll be back with new episodes in the fall. In the meantime, you can connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShanker. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Next in our listeners’ favorite series: Author Daniel Pink teaches us how to transform our relationship with regret so that we can live happier, more fulfilling lives. If you enjoyed this episode, Maya suggests you check out this one next: “Grieving the Man I Thought My Husband Was” We’ll be back with new episodes in the fall. In the meantime, you can connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShanker. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We’re revisiting some of our listeners’ favorite episodes this summer. We kick off the series with our first ever episode: A conversation with the Black jazz musician Daryl Davis. During a performance, a member of the KKK approached him at a bar and his life took an unexpected turn. He ended up inspiring hundreds of people to leave white supremacist groups. If you enjoyed this episode, Maya suggests you check out this one next: “Leaving a Religious Cult” We’ll be back with new episodes in the fall. In the meantime, you can connect with Maya on instagram @DrMayaShanker. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Maya was invited to speak at TED's annual conference in Vancouver this year - and her talk is available to watch today! It's called "Why Change is So Scary---and How You Can Unlock its Potential" and you can check it out at go.ted.com/mayashankar.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

At age 59, neuroscientist David Linden received a startling diagnosis of heart cancer. Even in the face of a terminal illness, David is continuing to think like a scientist. He shares what he's learned from watching his mind grapple with his own mortality, and how the diagnosis has changed his experience of time. Maya and David also discuss the power of curiosity and how it can aid us in moments of profound suffering. If you enjoyed this conversation, check out this episode from the archive: “The Life-Changing Diagnosis.” For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Long before Scott Wiener was the founder of a popular pizza tour company, he was just a guy who really loved to eat pizza. He talks with Maya about how he turned his unabashed enthusiasm into a mini empire. P.S. Stick around for a fun trivia game at the end, featuring the one and only Jimmy Li. If you enjoyed this episode, you may also enjoy Maya's conversation with chef Christine Ha, who goes by the nickname "The Blind Cook." For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Self-compassion isn't selfish, says psychologist Kristin Neff, a pioneer in research on the topic. Kristin busts cultural myths about self-compassion, such as the idea that it makes us lazy or self-indulgent, and explains why it’s actually a more effective motivational tool than self-criticism. She also breaks down why fostering more self-compassion is a better strategy than trying to boost self-esteem and offers some simple practices for being kinder to ourselves. If you enjoyed this episode, we recommend this one from the archives: “The Science of Our Inner Voice.” For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After a life-changing experience in India, Dr. Richie Davidson tried to convince his Harvard professors to let him study the science of meditation. No one took him seriously. Half a century later, Richie has measured the undeniable impact of meditation on our brains. And here’s the good news for people who know the benefits of meditation but struggle to actually do it: you don't need to carve out separate time for a practice. Richie walks Maya through how to integrate meditation into daily activities. For more on Richie’s work, check out his book “Altered Traits" and learn more at the Center for Healthy Minds and Healthy Minds Innovations. And if you enjoyed this episode, we recommend this one from the archives: “Maya’s Slight Change in Perspective.” For a behind-the-scenes look at the show, follow @DrMayaShankar on Instagram. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.