A Moment of Hope

by David Chadwick Continuing to unpack the madness of unforgiveness, let's talk about what forgiveness is and what it is not. Forgiveness is releasing someone else of the debt they owe you. Forgiveness is softening your heart to the ones who have hurt you. Forgiveness is remaining open, yielded and willing to respond to another however the Holy Spirit may lead you to respond. Remember the story of Joseph that we looked at a couple days ago? How he forgave his brothers after 22 years of separation and being wronged? Forgiveness can look wild and radical. Ultimately, forgiveness is freedom and victory. But, forgiveness does NOT always mean reconciliation! These are two separate actions. Forgiveness depends on one person: you. But reconciliation depends on two people: you and the one who hurt you. Biblically, you are commanded to forgive. It's not optional and Jesus makes that very clear. Reconciliation, on the other hand, may or might not happen. Yes, if you can possibly reconcile with another, that's God's best. After all, God gave us a ministry of reconciliation in Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:18-19). Romans 12:18 says, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." But reconciliation is not always possible. Why? Well, for one the person who hurt you may have died. Or the trust within the relationship may have become completely eroded and impossible to regain. Or you simply may not want that person as your friend again for many different reasons. Whatever the reason, so long as it's not rooted in hatred and bitterness, I think it's okay not to reconcile the relationship. Certainly, you must forgive. But you may not be able to reconcile the relationship. And I'm sure that Jesus has compassion when it's simply impossible to do or you just don't want to do it this side of eternity. Just remember, you are always called to forgive as Jesus has forgiven you. That is his will for you.

by David Chadwick Forgive yourself. Release God of anything you have wrongly blamed him for doing. And forgive others. Instead of just forgiving others by letting them off the hook of your wrath and anger. What if you actually forgive others the way you would want to be forgiven. After all, the Bible says to treat others the way you would want to be treated (Matthew 7:12). This is an absolute key for forgiveness to have its full impact in your life. Read and reread Matthew 5:7, "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy." Now start with asking the question, "How do I want God to forgive me in all the ways that I have hurt his heart?" Really answer that honestly. Here are some of the ways that I know I want God's forgiveness. I want complete and total forgiveness. I want to be assured that I won't be haunted by the memories of the pain of what has happened to me. I don't want my own sin to be remembered. I don't want my own sin to be broadcasted to the world. I don't want my sins to harm me in the future. Ok, now you try. Keep making a list for yourself. Maybe you want to be received with a hug instead of a punishment. Maybe you desire to experience joy and laughter after doing something you know was terribly wrong. Maybe you want the entire mess forgotten in order to move on in life. Now, think of the person you need to forgive. You don't want them unduly punished, right? Do you want their sins forever remembered by God? Do you want to see all of the wrong they have done to you made public? Do you desire to see them spend eternity separated from Jesus's eternal love? Or be repaid for their sins here and forever? If you truly are a follower of Jesus, I don't think you could desire any of these things. So, pause for a moment and release them. Forgive them as you want to be forgiven. And then watch as Jesus sets you free.

by David Chadwick Unforgiveness will make you mad! Both frustrated and crazy! Yesterday we talked about the need to forgive yourself. Today, I want to talk about how you might need to forgive God. Now, hold on just a moment. This seems blasphemous, but it's not. Let me first say this…God can do no wrong. He is infallible and perfect in every way. However, we come into this world fallible, sinful and broken. Because of that, we can easily carry offenses toward God that he is not responsible for creating, but we may need to throw our burdens back on him and remind ourselves that he is not our offender! Some people spend their entire lives remaining angry toward God for letting something bad happen to them. Part of their healing may be to let God off the hook and "forgive him," so to speak. Interestingly, in the Psalms, God never seemed to mind when David expressed his frustration and anger toward God for different events in his life. God is a big God. He can handle our childish temper tantrums. He understands our human emotions. He created us, fashioned us, knit us together in our mother's wombs (Psalm 139:13). But after we work out our plethora of emotions with the Lord, there does come a point when we must turn back to faith and not remain in anger. Living in resentment, even/especially toward God, is unhealthy and harmful to us. Faith trusts in God's providence. We believe that God is working ALL things for our good and his glory—even the painful stuff. That's the essence of Genesis 50:20 and Romans 8:28. Release God from any of your unforgiveness. Instead, replace it with a love for God and a faith in his overarching providence. Recognize all he has done for you. And remember this. One day, in heaven, everything will make sense. We see through a mirror dimly now (1 Corinthians 13:12). But one day, we will see him face to face. And when we do, we will nod in approval and adoration at how he used all for his purposes. And for our good. We must also always remember that what God is doing here has a divine purpose in heaven. Submit to his heart for your life. He is, after all, a good, good father.

by David Chadwick Sometimes the hindrance to forgiveness can loom over your head because of the offender. Other times, you may experience a hindrance because you haven't learned to forgive yourself. 1 Corinthians 13 says that love does not keep a record of past wrongs. This can certainly refer to those who have hurt you. But it also refers to ourselves when we have done something wrong. We must not keep a list of all the things we have done wrong and ruminate over them in our mind. In fact, 2 Corinthians 10:5 says to "take every thought captive to obey Christ." Nothing should take up space in our minds rent free that hasn't first been submitted to Jesus and filtered through his Word. In the same way that we are called to forgive others (Luke 6:37), we must forgive ourselves. This might even be a daily discipline that you have to go through, at least for a season. You might have to wake up, look yourself in the mirror and say something like, "David (you fill in your name), you are covered by the blood of Jesus and forever forgiven. There is absolutely nothing you can do to separate yourself from God's love. You are not the sum total of your life's mistakes. Jesus can redeem any situation and make it good. Pick yourself up and walk in your true identity as a son of the Most High God." What you say may look a little different, but that should give you an idea of what it looks like to learn forgiveness for yourself! Satan keeps wanting to remind us of the sins we have committed. Wanting us to believe that our sins are somehow stronger than God's grace. It's a lie! Remember what it says in Romans 5:20-21, "Where sin increased, grace abounded all the more!" I often wonder if this is why Jesus appeared to his disciples behind closed doors after the resurrection. To be with them intimately, in a close setting so that he could remind them to forgive themselves. For betraying him. For running away. For their lack of courage. For only then could they truly obey John 20:21, "As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you." I believe the disciples had to be unencumbered from all guilt and shame, truly forgiving themselves, in order to be fully used by him in the world in the years to come. And I believe the same holds true for us!

By David Chadwick The madness of unforgiveness is plaguing our world. You can see its effects all over the place. Bitterness. Offense. Anger. Rage. Depression. Despair. The enemy loves to take wounds and pain and use it to shut down the strongest of people. Remember the phrase that bitterness is like drinking arsenic and expecting the other person to die. It's one of the major ugly roots of unforgiveness and it's a joy robber! Think for a moment about some of the people who have hurt you over the years. Now let me ask you this question: are they hurting you from the grave? Sadly, bitterness and unforgiveness are so powerful that they can even give people who have died the ability to continue to haunt us and hurt us. It reminds me of a wasp I once found in my den. I casually took a napkin and grabbed the wasp to throw away. Guess what? Even after I killed it, it still stung me! I couldn't believe it. And the pain ended up lasting for some time. The same holds true with unforgiveness. Someone may have already died, but if you try to engage the pain associated with that person without a heart of forgiveness, the offense that took place can still sting you long after that person has died! Don't give your wounds this kind of power! Let them go. Release the pain to Jesus. Put the ones who hurt you in God's hands. In fact, when it comes to your offenders, if they have died, they have already met their Maker and been held accountable for their offenses against you. God is perfectly just. Therefore, let God be God, trusting he will handle them accordingly. Otherwise, it's almost like you're in the grave with them! A prison of death called bitterness. Galatians 5:1 says, "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free." Luke 4:1 says, "Jesus came to set the captives free." Especially from those who have hurt us who are already dead! Today, choose to throw the wasp away without letting the dead thing sting you and move on to enjoy life to the full.

by David Chadwick The madness of unforgiveness will truly drive you crazy. But true forgiveness brings healing. But how do you know that you've forgiven someone? Sometimes it can be hard to know if you've truly forgiven someone. Does it mean you can be in the same room as them? Does it mean you would give them a hug? Does it mean you don't desire the worst for them when they cross your mind? Let's take a look at the story of Joseph to unpack this a bit more (Genesis 37-50). It's one of the most powerful stories of forgiveness in the entire Bible. Joseph's brothers treated him terribly. At the age of 17, they threw him into a pit and then sold him to a passing Egyptian caravan. Joseph was then purchased as a slave by Potiphar where he ran his household excellently. Potiphar's wife actually came on to Joseph and he courageously fled sexual immorality just like Paul urges all to do in 1 Corinthians 6:18. Potiphar's wicked wife was so angered by Joseph's holy and righteous rejection of her that she concocted a false narrative to her husband about Joseph, implying that he was the one who came on to her! Joseph was then thrown into prison, some think for as long as 10 years! Eventually, he was set free and went on to become the Prime Minister of Egypt, the second in command in the most powerful nation on the face of the earth at that time. While in charge, during a time of great famine, Joseph's brothers came to Egypt, asking for food. They appeared before Joseph, not recognizing it was their brother. The gist of the story is Joseph, after spending 22 years in Egypt, forgave his brothers. He embraced them and even wept over them. But what happened next is an incredible part of the story. When Joseph appeared before Pharaoh to tell him about his brothers in Genesis 45, he did not once, NOT ONE TIME, ever speak disparagingly of them to Pharoah. How do you know you have totally forgiven someone who has deeply hurt you? I think it might be as simple as the clues found in Joseph's story…you never speak badly about them to another—especially someone who has the power to hurt them later on...The offense is completely forgiven. You've moved on in your life. And who knows, you might even be able to extend a hug to them if they were to come to you in repentance!

by David Chadwick Let me give you another insight that will help you better understand the madness of unforgiveness. Most people don't know how deeply they hurt you. I know this sounds crazy to say, but generally speaking, most offenses will feel far more intense to the person who experienced the offense. RT Kendall, an incredible theologian who wrote the book Total Forgiveness, estimates in his book that 80% of the people who hurt you don't have a clue how badly they have wronged you. They may know some of it, but don't fully understand the depth of your pain. Perhaps that's why in Luke 23:34 Jesus said on the cross, "Father, forgive them. They don't know what they are doing." He gave a plea that was full of compassion - a blanket call to forgiveness for all those who nailed him to the cross! From the Pharisees, to Pilate, to the mobs, to the Romans, Jesus asked the Father to give them all the gift of forgiveness. Did they truly understand that they were crucifying the Son of God? If you really sit back and think about this for a moment, this is wildly incomprehensible. The kindness and compassion to not just beg his Father to forgive his enemies, but to acknowledge that these people killing him didn't actually know what they were doing. It's amazing! What about those who clearly knew what they were doing when they hurt you? Per RT Kendall's earlier mentioned statistic, the 20% who were fully aware of the pain they were inflicting on you? I wish there was a way out of forgiveness for these people, but there is not. We are still called to forgive them. Release them to God. Surrender our pain to him. Why? Well, mostly for our benefit. For our health. We were not made to carry around anger and bitterness. We are to forgive as we've been forgiven (Ephesians 4:32). In that posture, we find freedom to live as Jesus desires all of us to live. Not as prisoners of bitterness, but free in every way. If Jesus could forgive his murderers and state they did not know what they were doing, surely we can find forgiveness for those who knowingly wound us.

by David Chadwick Forgiveness puts justice back into the hands of God. It allows you to bless those who curse you. Forgiveness also protects your heart! Unforgiveness leads to madness. God never intended for you to absorb the depth of pain that offense and bitterness place on a human being. It's a weight that's all consuming and crushing. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." I love the word vigilance. It's somewhat of a militant word that shows a tremendous level of responsibility on our part. Often, my daughter will look at her kids and say, "Guard your gates." When she says this, she's imploring them to guard their eyes, their ears, their mouth… and their hearts. Everything in life flows from the heart! As you've heard me often say, "The heart of the matter is a matter of the heart." God did not design for our hearts to hold onto hate. Our hearts are supposed to be a source of life, not a container in which bitterness and resentment dwell. You can think of forgiveness as a spiritual drain cleaner. It flushes out hatred, anger, resentment, and bitterness. But once the bad stuff is out, something else must enter. That something is love. The eternal love of Jesus must fill us where bitterness once resided. His love will coat and protect your heart from further "clogs," so to speak. Consider the cross. Ponder the depth of God's love for you. It's this love that allows us to love our enemies, the ones who have hurt us (Matthew 5:44). My dear friends, Jesus loves you so much. Let his forgiveness of your sins flood your heart with love and gratitude. Then, you will be able to love your enemies with supernatural love. This can't happen in your own strength. But Jesus's love in you, flowing through you, to your enemy…that can happen…and is life-changing! Jesus's love dwelling in us allows us to follow his command. Choose forgiveness. It will make your heart whole. So it will be well with your soul.

by David Chadwick Choosing not to forgive will only leave you captive. Today, I want to talk about what it looks like to bless those who curse you. It is one of the clear commands Jesus gave to his followers in Luke 6:38. Let's be really honest with one another for a moment. Our flesh really does not enjoy blessing those who hurt us, does it? Especially when the pain comes with words that curse us and leave us in a swirl of despairing thoughts. Human nature is bent toward retaliation. But the problem with retaliating is that if we strike back harder toward someone in revenge, they will inevitably strike back a bit harder toward us. Then we will want to retaliate even more. The conflict will continue to escalate with no end in sight. As Gandhi once said, if you live with the mentality of "'an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth,' eventually the entire world will be blind and toothless!" How do we bless those who have cursed us? Let's go back and look at Luke 6:38. First, choose to bless people with your words. Refuse to slander them to another person. Slander is an attempt to use words to punish someone for the pain they caused you. Said another way, it's a way of you seeking vengeance. Secondly, pray for them. How do you pray? I think if they are truly wicked, pray for their salvation. We should not desire for anyone to go to hell. Pray for them to come to grips with their sin and to repent. The greatest blessing would be for them to encounter Jesus. Clearly their hearts are full of evil. Ask God to bless them with wisdom. With knowledge. With understanding. With the same conviction that made you realize you needed Jesus at one point. Your prayer may look something like this: "Bless this person who hurt me, Lord. You know what he/she needs. I trust that you know best. I release him/her to you and will not carry any hate in my heart. Unforgiveness will destroy my heart and soul. I give this situation to you. You are God, I am not. Heal him/her. Set him/her free. Heal me. Set me free." This may feel so unnatural at first, but keep trying! You must rely on the Holy Spirit inside of you in order to accomplish this mandate of the Christian faith. A Spirit-filled and Spirit-led life is the only way to walk out these hard mandates. But you CAN do it! Step out in faith and try it. You may be surprised at the results!

by David Chadwick Let's continue to look at this topic of forgiveness. It is one of the main reasons Jesus came to the world. To forgive us from our sins. One of the major questions I get when it comes to the topic of forgiveness is, "How do I forgive when I still want to see justice for the wrong I experienced?" Take a look at Luke 18:1-8 for a moment. Jesus tells us in Luke 18:1 that he is giving us this parable so that we won't give up in prayer and so that we will continue to persevere in faith. A poor widow with nothing was treated badly by someone. We don't know the specifics about her situation, but we do know that she was treated in a terribly unjust way. She went to the home of an unjust judge who didn't fear God nor man. She started banging on his door and repeatedly demanded justice. Because of her persistence, he finally gave in to her unrelenting cry for help. This is quite the depiction of God's heart for justice. We are not poor widows. Because of Jesus, we are now adopted sons and daughters of the King of the universe. Not to mention, God is not an unjust judge, but a loving father. If the unjust judge gave justice to this poor widow in Luke 18, how much more will our loving father give justice to his children? Next time you are unjustly treated, persevere in prayer to your Daddy in heaven and demand justice. Perhaps it's just a quick reminder, like: "Father, I know you will deal with this one day. I believe it in faith because justice is your character." From there, release the offense back to God, trusting he will make all things right in His time! For when Jesus returns, will he find faith on earth? (verse 8). Will he find us believing that God is good and just and will right all wrongs? Even if we've not yet seen it? Remember, it may be heaven before we fully see God's justice and understand all that happened to us. But justice will be done. That is God's character. So continue to ask God for justice regularly in prayer, believing in faith one day it will occur.

by David Chadwick How do we forgive? What does it look like practically to walk this out? We know that forgiveness is the act of releasing offenders and offenses back to God and receiving his compassion for the pain we experienced. We also know that forgiveness is a requirement for followers of Jesus. We know that our source of forgiveness is Jesus and without him, we can't forgive. We know that not forgiving can lead to bitterness and slander. But how do we forgive? How do we become better at walking out forgiveness? Always remember this one, great, biblical truth: God is perfect justice. No one gets away with anything. If someone has deeply hurt you, God will address it one day. Because of this, we can confidently release and forgive knowing that God will one day have the last word for every tear we have cried, every pain we have experienced, every hurt that has come our way. That's the essence of Romans 12:19. We are not to return evil with evil, but evil with good. We don't take vengeance in our own hands but leave it to the Lord who does vengeance much better than we do. He alone knows all the facts and he will deal with our pain and situation in a perfectly just way. God is God. We are not. And as we continually remind ourselves of that truth, we are no longer overtaken by the desperation of vindication. What if we try to enact justice ourselves? Then God will take his hands off and let us try to do it ourselves. We will quickly learn that it's an impossible task. If you want to keep exploring this truth, go to Deuteronomy 32:35, Hebrews 10:30, Psalm 94:1 and Leviticus 19:18. This concept must be a very important one for us to understand or God wouldn't have repeated it as many times as he did in his Word!

by David Chadwick Forgiveness can only truly happen when Jesus is your source. Without his strength, bitterness will inevitably take root in your heart, defiling your soul. Have you ever thought about what springs up from a bitter heart? Slander! When given the chance to speak ill of someone who has hurt you, we seldom turn down the chance, do we? We all struggle with this temptation. Somehow, we think we are punishing them for what they did to us and at the end of the day, we don't want our enemy to be admired. Do you know why I think it is so easy to keep slandering someone? Because they hurt you! Hurt people hurt people. It can also be hard to speak well of someone who brought so much pain and devastation into our lives. If you're not careful, the pain of your situation can create a stronghold over your life that drives you into deeper sin instead of holiness. Once you truly forgive someone, you won't gossip about them. You won't have the desire to slander them or put them down to someone else. Now, let me say this. It is okay to find a Christ-centered pastor, counselor or trusted friend to help you work through your pain. Sometimes you have to share your heart with another in order to get free. This is acceptable. But slander is not. Make sure that as you share something with another person that your end goal is forgiveness and becoming more free. Not aimless chatter simply intended to do harm to another. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us how to be kind and forgive just as God in Christ forgave us. After receiving Jesus, remember that God will never punish you for your sins. His grace covers you rather than exposes you. And he will never hold our sins against us again. When I fill my heart with Jesus's love for me - his cross, his mercy, his kindness - I can release my offender and continue to have an abundant life. That is God's desire. For you and for me to be free.

by David Chadwick Forgiveness. Releasing offenders and offenses to Jesus so you can be made whole. This is something that can only happen when Jesus is your source of life. Unfortunately, many people choose to remain embittered and trapped by unforgiveness. What is the result of unforgiveness? Bitterness. As you remain in unforgiveness, bitterness takes root (Hebrews 12:15). Bitterness corrodes your soul and defiles those around you. It's a deep, dark prison from which no one can escape without learning to walk out forgiveness. As you heard me mention the other day, refusing to forgive and holding on to bitterness is like drinking arsenic and expecting the other person to die! This is especially grievous when thinking about those who have hurt you and have died. Oftentimes, when people haven't experienced forgiveness, their offenders continue to hurt them from their graves! Think about how incredulous this concept is! It's like the time I picked up a dead wasp and it still stung me! What a terrible thing for something that has no life in it to poison you! My dear, dear friends, forgive! Pull the root of bitterness out of your soul. Then, where bitterness once held you captive, replace it with the same grace and mercy that Jesus has given you. As you set the other person free, it will free you.

by David Chadwick Yesterday, we learned about what forgiveness is - releasing any offenders and offenses back to Jesus, knowing that bitterness will only hold you captive and destroy your life. But what is the source of forgiveness? Well, it's supernatural. A strength that can only come from a love outside of us. Within ourselves, in our own strength, it's impossible to forgive. We can only love because Jesus first loved us (1 John 4:19). We can only forgive because God first forgave us. God's forgiveness is the source. Our ability to forgive is rooted in God's forgiveness of us and our sin. We owe him a billion dollar debt. One we can't repay. The debt to God for all our sins is far too great. And his love lavished over us through forgiveness becomes the source from which we can pull to forgive others. Remember the parable of the forgiving king and the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35? If not, take a moment and go read it. The king mercifully forgave his servant of a massive, unpayable debt. You would think this would prompt the servant to do the same for other people, but it did not. The servant would not forgive someone of the smallest debt that was owed to him. Because the unforgiving servant wouldn't forgive, he was thrown into a prison and not allowed to leave until every penny of his debt to the king was repaid. The unforgiving servant's decision to not extend forgiveness left him in a literal prison of bitterness, which we will learn more about tomorrow. Jesus used this parable to teach a very important lesson. If God's forgiving love extended a billion dollar debt repayment to us, we must not be unwilling to forgive someone who has hurt us. Paul reiterated Jesus's teachings in Ephesians 4:32 and Colossians 3:13 urging people to be kind and compassionate and to forgive just as Jesus forgave us and to bear with one another, forgiving grievances. Use the one, true Source named Jesus as your strength to forgive. It will be a supernatural display!

by David Chadwick What is forgiveness? Well, if we look at the dictionary definition from Merriam Webster, it means "to cease to feel resentment against an offender." Biblically, forgiveness releases someone of the debt once owed. It's a significant display of love, ultimately mirroring what was displayed to us by Jesus. Forgiveness is extraordinarily powerful and, like grace, sets apart the Christian faith from all the other world religions. On a practical level, if bitterness can be described as "drinking poison and expecting the person who hurt you to die," then forgiveness is the release of that bitterness. A complete relinquishment of the debt owed to you by someone. Forgiveness doesn't hold onto a record of past wrongs done to you (1 Corinthians 13:5). Forgiveness replaces bitterness with a love for your enemy that allows you to pray for those who have hurt you (Matthew 5:44). It places a desire for God's mercy and grace to wash over the pain that you've experienced. When forgiveness becomes real to you, you will become fully aware of what someone has done to you, yet you still choose to forgive. To let the other person or people go. There is no repression or denial because if you deny your pain, forgiveness can't really take place. You must know that what happened to you really happened. But you release them. Not wishing for them to suffer like you have suffered. And cancelling the debt of the way they have hurt you. Forgiveness hands over the offender and the offenses to Almighty God. This release becomes a wonderful display of just how much you trust in Jesus. After all, he certainly forgave all of us!

by David Chadwick Today is our fifth and final hidden insight into God's Word. Acts 10 recounts the story of a man named Cornelius. In his story, you will find a very special hidden insight into God's Word. While not often referenced as a commonly known key biblical figure, Cornelius might be one of the most important biblical characters in Scripture. Cornelius was a Gentile - a Roman centurion and devout follower of the Jewish God. When Peter was struggling with whether the gospel was for Gentiles, or only for Jews, he visited Cornelius. Think about the significance of this for a moment. Peter must have trusted Cornelius so much to be willing to enter into such a tender and necessary discussion at that time. On Cornelius's rooftop, Peter received a vision. Previously thought of as unclean food, the vision showed Peter he could now break kosher laws! At that moment, he clearly knew that the gospel was both for Jews and Gentiles. This was the first time that the church officially opened its doors to Gentiles, marking a pivotal moment and a marking time in the church's life and history. Here's the insight. Because Cornelius opened his home to Peter, and was a safe place for Peter to process with, Peter was able to hear from the Lord and receive a vision to open the doors for all Gentiles for all times to receive the gospel of Jesus. Maybe you, too, will choose to open your door one day for someone that will end up leading to the salvation of many others. There is no greater joy than to play a role in leading others into a relationship with Jesus Christ! Cornelius is evidence of that truth for us all.

by David Chadwick How many of you have ever played a game of hide and seek? It is one of the most commonly played childhood games. There's something exhilarating about little kids counting to twenty and then searching around to find their hiding friends. I believe that God, the Creator of the universe, knows the beauty and wonder of childlike faith and appreciates hiding things for us to search out. Numbers 21:14 says, "Therefore it is said in the Book of the Wars of the Lord, 'Waheb in Suphah, and the valleys of the Arnon…'" This verse is where you will find today's hidden insight. Book of the Wars? What is that, you might ask? Evidently, it was an extra biblical book written by various different Jewish authors. The way it is mentioned in Numbers 21 seems to suggest that it was a rather well known book among the Jewish people. Apparently, it was a book that described Israel's many victories over enemies and how the Lord repeatedly rescued his people from their adversaries. They most assuredly took account of these testimonies to be able to read them again and again. Perhaps all of us should write a book that lists out God's victories in our lives. We can then go back and read it repeatedly to remind us of God's victorious power in the past. And if God did it once, he can do it again! Revelation 12:11 says, "And they have conquered him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, for they loved not their lives unto death." Testimony is one of the best ways to keep moving forward in faith in the midst of a broken world. For if God did it once, he can do it again. Seeing that there were other books outside of what we know to be God's Word also speaks to the miracle that there were 66 books that were preserved by the Holy Spirit to make it into the canon of Scripture! Now you know how to answer someone if you are ever asked about the Book of Wars that is mentioned in the Bible. That book did not last. It was not preserved, but God's Word is. Another hidden insight for you!

by David Chadwick Proverbs 25:2 says "It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out." Those close to the heart of God seek to know him deeply. To understand his heart. To be a student of his ways. Joshua 10:12,13 is where you will find our hidden insight today. It's the passage where Joshua spoke to the Lord and God made the sun and the moon stand still. As you keep reading, you will see the book of Jasher referenced in verse 13. What is the book of Jasher, you might ask? It's today's hidden insight. The book of Jasher is also mentioned in 2 Samuel 1:18-27. Occasionally, the Bible mentions different books that were written during the same time or even before the canonical books of the Bible. While outside the canon of Scripture, these books, such as the book of Jasher, give insights and perspectives into history during the biblical times. These books should be seen as aids to understanding the Bible, but not considered authoritative. Most likely, the book of Jasher was probably lost before the destruction of the first Temple in 586 B.C. Always remember, the Bible alone is God's Word, but there are outside aids from people like Josephus and the Roman historian Tactitus that can give us insights to help us understand the times better. It is okay to look for hidden insights into God's Word through some of these outside aids. But as you do, remember only God's Word is canonized. Only his Word is authoritative, giving us insight into all areas of faith and practice. Only God's Word is God's Word! However, now if anyone asks you about the book of Jasher, you will know what to say!

by David Chadwick In a world full of cowards, God's courageous ones stand out! We are drawn to men and women of courage. Today, let's talk about what it means to be a man of courage. There are so many stories that give us keys and principles for how to live godly, courageous lives. If yesterday's insight displayed what happens when faithless, wimpy men release fear and lack of courage over situations, today's insight will show what happens when men of courage step up to the plate. The ten spies were so scared of the giants and of the walled cities in the land. They were told the land they were being given was God's PROMISED land and yet they let their fear overtake them. This fear led to 40 years of wandering in the wilderness. But wait a minute. There were 12 spies, right? Not ten? Exactly! Yesterday I only mentioned ten names. Ten names who have been forgotten due to their cowardice. But there were two more men I didn't mention. Men of courage. Let's look at them now. Joshua and Caleb. Two men of courage who remained faithful in spite of the bad reports. Unlike the other ten spies, these are two commonly used names even today. In fact, two of my grandsons are named Joshua and Caleb. Caleb in the Bible was 85 when he entered the Promised Land and he wanted the area where the giants lived! He knew his God was greater than any giant. Joshua was around 75-80 years old and he replaced Moses as Israel's leader. He is the one who said that as for he and his house, he would serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15). Here is your insight for today. Live like men of courage. With great faith. Fortitude. Passion. Men like Caleb and Joshua. Follow their character as they follow God's heart! Nations are changed by men like this! And be sure to name your kids after men like this, honoring the great legacy of biblical men of courage!

by David Chadwick As many of you know, I love to seek out the hidden places of God's Word. To find the concealed things that God has given us and to search out the deeper meaning in it all. I have five hidden insights into God's Word that I want to share with you this week. This one is from Numbers 13:4-5,7, and 9-15. Have you ever heard of Shammua, Shaphat, Igal, Palit, Gaddiel, Gaddi, Ammiel, Shethur, Nahb, and Gruel? Do you know the unique parts they played in God's overall story? Do you recognize any of their names? No? Guess why not? Because they were all cowards! Cowards of the faith are much less remembered than the heroes. These ten men had little to no faith. Their lives were so impactless that no one even needs to remember their names. Who are they? These named ten spies went into the Promised Land and brought back nothing but bad reports to the Israelites, thus infecting God's people with unbelief. They were the ones who created fear in the hearts of the Israelites, which ultimately caused them to wander in the wilderness for 40 years until that generation of unbelievers died off. Eventually, God was able to raise up a community of people who had great courage and faith, but he had to let the old mindsets die off. So what lesson do we have from these ten cowardly men? Here is the insight. Guard your hearts and seek to be people who release reports and receive reports that only come from God himself. Don't believe the narratives of the evil one. These guys are not people you should emulate. And definitely don't name your kids or grandkids after them! These guys were wimps. They did not help to establish a strong nation, but rather kept God's people stuck in a place of doubt and fear for 40 years. Follow the courageous ones! They will lead you to the heart of God himself.

by Marilynn Chadwick Live a life of sacrifice and honor. Give yourself for the larger good. Put others before yourself. Don't give up. Family is worth it. No matter what comes your way, persevere. And always do the right thing. These were some of the messages my parents taught me by example over the years. Mom and Dad believed in dreaming big and always encouraged our dreams. Through the years, nothing brought them more joy than to watch their children and grandchildren (and now great-grandchildren) shine. But the last chapters of life can sometimes be hard. Honor can be an uphill climb. For Mom and Dad, doing the right thing day after day required endurance, faith, and sometimes a good sense of humor. I watched their courageous battle and I agree with whoever said "Old age is not for sissies." I watched my mom's quiet and uncomplaining spirit even when she was in pain. And I still see Daddy's cheerful attitude as he perseveres day after day. "How did you do it, Dad?" I asked the other day, reflecting on how he loved mom until her last breath. "He just shrugged his shoulders and said matter of factly, "Your mom was worth it." I look at their life in the light of the meaning of the word honor—to show a person respect and esteem. To treat someone as though they have great worth. Honor by its very nature is strong, solid, and above all, enduring. I'd have to say Mom and Dad are living examples of honor and a testimony to its high cost—not something you hear much in our "it's all about me" culture. Toward the end of Mom's life, they had an especially difficult morning, which stretched Daddy to practically the end of his strength. Some days were harder than others. Later that day, Daddy quietly beamed as he told me about how Mom had looked at him that morning for a minute or so and then spoke these words with perfect clarity: "You are so patient. I am so proud of you." Just a few simple words from his wife who didn't talk so much anymore. And yet Daddy wore those words like they were a medal of honor. And if you think about it, I guess that's truly what they are. Honor. A concept so simple even a child can grasp it. God set the bar low so that even the youngest and weakest among us can practice honor. But God has also set the bar high. People defend freedom, fight, and die for honor. Believers around the world honor Jesus by suffering for their faith. And honor inspires husbands and wives to love each other for a lifetime. In good times and in hard ones. Honor guards our marriages and sets them on solid ground. Honor protects friendships. Honor guards a culture. No wonder it's so important in our homes. By teaching us to treat each other with honor, God has set before us the most noble and enduring way to live together—with a love that never dies. So that we can finish strong. _____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick Education was very important in our home. Mom and Dad were both college graduates back in the day when that was not common. Mom had been the valedictorian of her small country high school and Dad was a campus leader and played basketball at his high school, finishing early to go into the navy. He qualified for submarine school and left for his tour of duty, then returned after the war to go to college on the GI Bill. Mom's mother, my Grandmother Eunice, taught first grade for about 50 years. Sometimes when I would run errands with her in their small town in southern Virginia, grown-ups would stop and say proudly to me that my grandmother had been their favorite teacher and the one who taught them how to read. I found my grandmother fascinating. One of eight children, her parents had died when she was very young, back in the late 1800s. She left home at an early age and somehow managed to go to college and became a teacher. Then she hopped on a cross-country train trip going west and taught school in various places along the way. She made her way to Montana and eventually to Pasadena, California, where she taught for a few years, even attending one of the very first Rose Parades. She hopped on another train and made her way back across the country, stopping here and there to teach. I remember looking at photos from the time she rode by mule to the bottom of the Grand Canyon. Finally, back in Virginia, my grandmother at age 38 married my granddaddy, a farmer. He had met the pretty young schoolteacher before her travels west, and I suppose he was holding out until her return. By this time, he was 48. They married and had my mom a year later—their only child. My dad's mother, Grandmother Lois (the irony of a Eunice and a Lois will not be lost on some of you), was another special role model for me, and I adored her. Like my Grandmother Eunice, she also attended college back in the day when few women did and played on the very first women's basketball team at William & Mary College in Williamsburg, Virginia. So you see why getting an education was its own "code of honor" in our family. My parents thought of education as noble. Even a responsibility, along with duty, sacrifice, and honor. A heart that seeks to learn, grow, and receive from others is another mark of honor and, I think, helps to establish a legacy of honor in marriages and in families that is so lasting and so important. ______________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick Daddy happens to be one of the few remaining World War II submarine veterans. He and my mom vividly remember the war—they don't take our freedoms for granted. So growing up, neither did we. One of the ways they helped us appreciate our heritage was to tell lots of stories—especially stories about our family. I grew up hearing about Daddy's submarine adventures in the South China Sea. And about rations and blackouts, or brave young friends who lost their lives in the war. Mom and Dad were also proud of our family's long history in this country dating back to before the Revolutionary War. Captain Simon Hunt, from Daddy's mother's side, was one of the original 80 minutemen who fought the British in the famous battle on the Old North Bridge in Concord, Massachusetts. It was on that bridge that the "shot heard round the world" signaled the beginning of the Revolutionary War. Our youngest, Michael Hunt Chadwick, loved hearing his grandparents' stories of the Hunt family and his namesake. Looking back over my life, I can also see how Mom and Dad's values quietly shaped my own. They grew up in the South back in the day before the Civil Rights movement had ushered in change. They didn't talk much about racism, but they lived a life that spoke volumes to me. I watched how they lived. To them, all people mattered. Everyone had worth. Everyone was equal. And all were welcome in our home. Black. White. Old money, new money, or no money. They treated everybody the same, and their simple, as well as honorable, example spoke louder than any sermon. This is another telltale sign of honor. The quiet, unspoken, consistent lifestyle that points to prioritizing others above yourself. Honor is established through testimony. As you share stories of honor and examples of honor, it becomes real to other people and they are able to emulate it as well. I am thankful for my family's stories that gave me a roadmap for how to continue to establish honor in my life as well, with my husband and with everyone around me. ______________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick Mom and Dad suffered two especially hard losses as a young couple. When I was about two, Mom delivered a baby girl who died shortly after she was born a few weeks premature. Today's neonatal technology could likely have saved the baby. I have no memories of this incident. Tragically, the very same thing happened again when I was five. This one I do remember. There were two of us kids at that point. My sister Susan and me. Mom went into premature labor again and delivered a baby—another girl who also died soon after birth. But Mom, just 28 at the time, somehow managed to keep life moving forward in our home. I know she had a deep faith, and I'm sure it was her faith and her courage that gave her the strength to persevere. She and Daddy kept hope alive, and two years later welcomed my youngest sister, Janice, whose name means "God's gracious gift," into our family. I'm a mother myself now, and a grandmother. So when I look back at those times in my mother's life, I don't know how she kept going. She and Daddy had to be grieving. Yet I'm amazed at how little she allowed those terrible losses to impact our lives as children. By that I mean that she and my dad didn't retreat to fear or hold us back from a normal, active, and happy childhood. Mom kept moving forward for us—evidence, again, of her self-sacrificial nature and her servant's heart. Mom had been an only child and always wanted to be part of a large family. So she especially loved Daddy's large family. And Daddy loved hers. They were a team. Family was their priority. They also shared each other's interests, like a love of the outdoors. They enjoyed camping. Some of my favorite childhood memories—even into my teen years—are of our family camping trips every summer. To the beach, to the mountains. To historic sites such as Colonial Williamsburg and Kitty Hawk. Mom and Dad both had keen minds. They loved good books and good movies, and made sure we had access to those things growing up. They appreciated education, patriotism, and the land. Our people were mostly a collection of educators, farmers, and those serving in the military. Being native Virginians, they especially loved all things Virginian. Honor was present in so many ways in our home, though typical of their generation, they didn't flaunt it. I guess you could say Mom and Dad were good, solid, honorable people who came from a long line of good, solid, honorable people. They all had long-lasting marriages and were proud of their heritage. And they passed that legacy on to us. ______________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick My dad honored my mom, but I also saw how my mom honored my dad. Looking back, I can see some of the reasons their marriage remained strong. Sometimes when we're in the middle of daily life as it's happening, we don't fully realize the truly heroic nature of the people right in front of us. It all seems normal at the time. So it's been special for me to take a look back at the life my parents lived and the legacy they left me. As I reflect, I feel enormous gratitude for their sacrifices that paved the way for the life I have today. We've been talking about the importance of how to create a legacy of honor. So it has helped me to think back about Mom and Dad's life together with honor as my lens. How did Mom honor Dad? What are some ways they honored each other? And what kind of legacy have they left to those who come behind them? During our growing up years, Mom was Dad's helper in the best sense of the word. She was a true ezer, the Hebrew word for "helper" as described in the Creation account (Genesis 2:18). Mom was strong and kind. And she was his rock of support. I remember how Mom built Dad up. She believed in him. Mom had stopped teaching school when the kids came—family was everything to Mom. She especially loved Dad's parents and his three sisters and their families. She even took an interest in Dad's sales force—"Daddy's men," as she called them—and sometimes we got together with their families. Dad's job as a regional sales manager with a large company required quite a bit of travel. Mom never complained. She simply kept life going for her three daughters. But invariably, most of our life crises seemed to hit when Daddy was away. Like the time I tried to do a cannonball dive into three feet of water and didn't tuck quite fast enough, hitting my head on the bottom of the swimming pool. After Mom and I took a fast trip to the emergency room and 27 stitches later, Dad finally made it home. Recently, when I asked Daddy to describe some ways Mom had honored him, he pointed back to that incident. "I never worried when I was traveling," he said. "Even when you cracked your head open, I could always count on your mom to handle things. She was always so calm." Daddy's right. Mom honored him by her strong resolve and her ability to keep the family on track in his absence. The popular World War II expression "Keep Calm and Carry On" was originally created to inspire the Brits to keep their courage during the war. And I think it described my mom quite well. It is also a characteristic of honor we can all embrace. _____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick When people meet my now 97-year-old dad, they often ask me, "What's his secret?" "How does your dad look so young and stay so sharp?" Daddy would be the first to tell you that part of his secret is that he had a great wife. He was married to my mom for nearly 70 years. My mother was nearly bedridden for the last ten or so years of her life. A ruptured appendix and complications from a subsequent surgery robbed a once robust grandmother of her ability to walk. Some of her ability to think and talk faded, but enough of her razor-sharp mind remained to make conversation possible, though difficult. Daddy insisted upon caring for her at home, with the help of nurses' aids to help him with wheelchair transfers and daily care. If you asked them, Mom and Dad would each say they "married up." Mom would always tell us three girls how lucky she was to find Daddy. And Dad said he was just glad his "turn in line" with the other young men who wanted to date Mom finally came. To which Mom would answer back, "Well I was hoping you would ask me out!" In her last years, Dad would look at my mom, lying in the bed after he had just brushed her hair, and say to me, "Doesn't she look pretty?" Few could imagine the daunting challenges Mom and Dad faced on a daily basis just to live at home. Dad would do all of the grocery shopping, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry. On top of that, he would perform medical procedures for her each day. Catheters, baths, diapers. There were also occasional trips to the emergency room and hospitalizations because of infections. Dad's caregiver role began after Mom's ruptured appendix. Even then, he managed the daily cleaning of Mom's open abdominal wound for weeks after her emergency surgery. Sometimes, his bad back would flare up, but he would keep at it. In good times and hard times, Mom and Dad honored their wedding vows. That just by itself is a legacy of honor which they have passed on to David and me, to our children, and their children. A legacy of honor must be tended to and cared for so that it can grow and mature for generations to come. ___________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick …continued from yesterday Honor is sorely lacking in many of our homes. Marriages are breaking up at an alarming rate. Sadly, the percentage of wives leaving their husbands has risen dramatically. I believe this topic of honor is timely. We'd first do well to remind ourselves that at its core, honor is a biblical concept, woven throughout the pages of Scripture to characterize our relationship with God and with each other. The Bible defines honor in the most precious of terms, conveying not only value and respect, but also extreme costliness. It's sometimes used interchangeably with the word for wealth. So to honor someone is to treat that person as having the utmost worth. I, too, can use a refresher course myself in how to show my husband how special he is to me. You'd think that after over four decades of marriage, I'd have this one down. David and I have had a wonderful life together. We love and respect each other and we enjoy spending time together. We've always remained faithful to one another. But now and then, if I'm honest with myself, I've been guilty of taking my husband for granted. Maybe you have, too. The mystery and the wonder of marriage—we can let it slide past us if we're not watching. We can forget to be thankful when the familiar becomes comfortable. To honor our husbands means to recapture a little of the awe. I want to explore how to become more mindful about how to honor my husband, but also how to reclaim honor in our culture in general. From men to women and women to men. From young to old and old to young. I will share some of the practical ways I've learned to communicate to David that I truly do honor him as the most special person in my life. I will also include some valuable tips from friends in my life. My husband's father, the late Dr. Howard Chadwick, used to tell David, "The best gift you can give your children is a strong marriage." And so I remind those of you who are moms: The best gift you can give your children is to love and honor your husband. Our husbands are not simply an afterthought sandwiched in between life with kids, chores, workouts, and activities. We need to be strong, faithful, and above all, intentional if we want our marriages not just to survive but to thrive. Our marriages are worth it. So are our husbands. It's time to have an honest conversation about honor. Why does it seem to be in such short supply these days? The culture around us is groaning, desperately in need of honor. My hope is that together, we could spark a movement of honor that would spill over into a hurting and broken world. It's hard work, but the rewards are worth it. I hope you'll join me for this journey. _____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick …continued from yesterday I emphasized the importance of honoring men in an editorial I once wrote for our local newspaper after the passing of the legendary University of North Carolina basketball coach Dean Smith. Along with great basketball, Coach Smith taught his players, including my husband, much about honor. David says that next to his own father, Smith was the most significant man in his life. Though the excerpt below is primarily about men as fathers, it begs the question as to why the lack of honor toward men today: Good dads these days are hard to find. Just watch any television show. Dads are spoofed, maligned, caricatured, and generally disrespected. The message? It's just not cool to be a dad. If the same treatment were given to moms, you'd spark a revolt. But that's the nature of dads. The good ones don't whine. They don't show off. They put the needs of their families ahead of their own. And as Coach Smith modeled for us all, good dads embody self-sacrifice. In short, good dads are that reservoir of safety and unconditional love for which all kids hunger. Quite likely, they're a major factor in determining the outcome of a young person's life. The statistics aren't pretty. Kids without dads are more likely to end up pregnant out of wedlock, in prison, poor, or dead. And bad dads may be worse than no dads, leaving scars inside and outside that can last a lifetime. But I'm seeing a resurgence of dad-hunger out there. I think people today are literally dying for good dads. Perhaps Coach Smith's legacy will inspire dads to be better. Smith knew it wasn't simply about winning and losing but rather "how you play the game." His life reminds us that good guys are very cool. And just maybe, more guys will want to become good dads. Lord knows we need them. The responses to my editorial surprised me. Had I touched a nerve? Handwritten notes and emails poured in from a variety of readers—male and female, young and old. A prominent defense attorney even shared the memory of his own father, now deceased, reminiscing about what an honorable man his dad was in his eyes. A federal judge, a bank president, the local head of a government agency, a former mayor. Each told me about the honorable men in their lives. One even confided his heart's desire to be a man of honor within his own family. Several young moms, all who happened to be at home with small children, wrote in to praise their husbands for their hard work and for being such good husbands and fathers. Others posted on social media that they were challenged by my reminder to simply be thankful for the honorable men in their lives. The responses made me wonder. What has happened to honor these days? Are we a culture that's thirsty for honor? It certainly made me think… …to be continued tomorrow. ____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick …continued from yesterday Whatever happened to honor? Honor is a topic that has either been grossly overvalued to the point where people are demanded to treat other humans as demi-gods or it has been undervalued to the point where disrespect and disdain is casual, flippant, and normalized. I don't know about you, but I can tell when honor is missing. To be disrespected or dishonored in some cultures around the world is so insulting that it's grounds for fighting. Some even justify the use of violence to defend one's honor or the honor of one's family. What started out as an urban slang expression for disrespect, "diss," has become so common as to transcend culture or age. Most any child can tell you what it means to diss somebody, or worse yet, to be dissed. Sadly, we live in a time when dishonor is so common that it feels almost normal. Over the years, I've noticed that honor, especially in marriage, seems to be disappearing. More than once I've overheard a group of wives criticizing their husbands to each other. Sort of a group-gripe fest. And why not? It's open season on men these days. You don't have to watch television or movies too long before you see an example of "man bashing." I find this trend disturbing. Maybe it's because I live with a servant-hearted husband who is not only the love of my life, but also my best friend. Perhaps it's because I have two grown sons and a son-in-law, all of whom are honorable young men. Or maybe it's because I grew up with a wonderful dad. For whatever reason, I'm bothered by how trendy it has become over the years to diss men, especially husbands and fathers. Seems like we've gotten too cool to appreciate the good guys anymore. I want my life to help restore the legacy of honor… …to be continued tomorrow. ______________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick My new friend began our conversation quite innocently by asking me to pray for her marriage. We were both young wives adjusting to life in a new city. I didn't know her very well, but over the next few minutes, I would learn way more than I wanted to know about her personal life. And about her husband. She launched into a litany of all the ways he had disappointed her. She then proceeded to describe in detail how far short he fell in her eyes as a man. Before too many minutes had passed, this poor guy began to fall short in my eyes as well. Many years have come and gone since that conversation. So why do I still remember it so well? Well, for one thing, I never could quite look at that guy in the same way again. His reputation, at least from my end, had been damaged by his wife's words. I made a mental note to myself to never, ever talk so casually to someone else about my husband's shortcomings. And I tried not to be on the receiving end of that kind of toxic spill again. Now please don't get me wrong. It's not that David and I don't have our own flaws or that we've never struggled in our marriage. We're human too. Marriage is hard work and forces us to come to grips with our sin and selfishness like nothing else. No doubt, there are times in life when it may be appropriate to share your marriage struggles with a good friend or a wise counselor. But it was the disrespectful picture that my friend had painted of her husband that felt so wrong. So dishonoring. And because this is a series on honor, I've been taking a long, hard look at the whole concept of honor and its importance in marriage and in our culture in general. Honor can be defined as the "value or worth we give to someone because of their good quality or character." Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity. To honor someone is to treat that person with admiration or respect. Over the next two weeks, let's dig into this important topic of honor together… …to be continued tomorrow. ____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

By Marilynn Chadwick Honor is not a subject you hear much about these days. If anything, we've become much more accustomed to disrespect and dishonor. The urban slang for disrespect, or "dis," has made its way into everyday language. Most any child can tell you what it means to "dis" someone. Or worse, to be "dissed." Honor. Simply put, the word means to treat someone with respect or admiration. It has to do with qualities like honesty, integrity and dignity. The biblical version of honor is much weightier. Lofty. It speaks to the precious worth of the person being honored and is related to words like glory, worship or prize. Most of us yearn to be treated with respect. We benefit not only from receiving honor but also from giving it to others. God set the bar low so that even a child can show honor. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise—"so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth" (Ephesians 6:2,3). You might call this the "the training wheels of honor" (Exodus 20:12). When children honor their earthly parents, they begin to grasp what it means to honor their heavenly Father. Perhaps it's time to recapture this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. But let's do so with a sense of expectancy. For God Himself makes this bold promise: "Those who honor me, I will honor" (1 Samuel 2:30). In Genesis 2:18, God created us to be our husband's helper, or ezer, a source of rock-like strength and support. But we can also choose to use that ezer strength to work against our husband, robbing him of strength and confidence. I've wondered whether we've lost sight of the importance of respect. Perhaps a lack of honor could be at the core of many divorces. Honor doesn't just happen. It goes against the grain of our culture. Disrespect, on the other hand, takes very little energy. It's the path of least resistance. Honor is a narrow road. It requires strength and intentionality. I've never forgotten this tidbit of common-sense wisdom from a dear friend who had been married for over sixty years. It went something like this: "Don't be afraid to be the one who loves the most." The same could be said of honor. Don't be afraid to be the one who honors the most. As we have been learning to honor our husbands and restore honor in the home, I want to leave you with this challenge. Dare to take the first step by honoring your husband even before he honors you. ________________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick "I don't enjoy going to lunch with my work friends anymore," my young friend confided over coffee. "The conversation always turns into husband bashing." Her own marriage wasn't perfect, she admitted. "I'm a very transparent person," she smiled. "So I try to be real. But I don't want to dishonor my husband. And I want my friends to know I truly love being married to him." As we talked, she came to the conclusion that it was okay for her to be honest with her friends about some of her own marriage struggles. She could share a few of the positive ways she and her husband have discovered to work through their issues. But she resolved to do this in a manner that would honor both Christ and her husband. I loved my friend's heart for her husband and for the Lord. Knowing her as I do, she'll be a winsome witness to her friends about what it means to have a godly marriage. And more importantly, what it means to follow Christ. That conversation was just one of many I've had with women of all ages while writing Eight Great Ways to Honor Your Husband. I yearn to help wives reclaim the lost art of honoring their husbands. Perhaps it's time to take a fresh look at this age-old virtue. We can start by honoring God. "Those who honor me, I will honor" (1 Samuel 2:30). Then, let's explore practical ways to honor our husbands. Remember, the world is watching us. And deep down, I believe they're thirsty for honor—especially honor in marriage. The tone I set in our home when I honor my husband inspires our children to honor him and each other. It feels good to get respect. To be honored. But it also feels incredibly good to honor someone else. We find that as we give honor, we get it back. But giving honor, especially in a world which has largely forgotten this concept, doesn't come easy. It takes practice. I've learned that home is a wonderful laboratory for cultivating honor. My hope is that the culture of honor we create will spill over into the culture around us. I believe our world today is thirsty for honor. ________________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick Dream big together! It's the next tip for learning to honor our husbands. I honor my husband when I share his dreams. When I work to help him accomplish his dreams, my dreams are also fulfilled. Not too long into our marriage, I realized that God's economy is different from mine. When doing things God's way, I often get back the very thing I give away. I help David reach his goals and dreams. Then he helps me reach mine. A wonderful rhythm develops. A mutuality. Together, we've also learned that when we give our life away, especially to the lost and broken of this world, God pours grace and honor back into our own lives. As you dream big and pursue adventure together, you often find heroes in the most unlikely places. Ordinary people living quiet, faithful lives—in my book, these are the real heroes. A while back, David and I adventured to our nation's capital. We met with influential men and women faithfully serving our country. We took tours of the capitol, awed by the courageous faith of our Founding Fathers. Their names are written in history—their impact will last for generations. But for me, the real hero showed up—of all places—in a taxi cab. Our driver was a gentle, friendly man with an east African accent. I noticed the prominent cross on his dashboard. He talked about his 33 years driving a cab. His three kids had all graduated from fine colleges, he boasted, with that dad-kind-of-pride. All had prestigious jobs working in DC. "You must have done some pretty good parenting," I commented. "What's your secret?" "My secret," he laughed, "is America." "In America, if you're willing to work hard, you can reach your dream." "There are some who might disagree," I replied. "Hmmm," he paused, "then they have never lived in another country." See, he had fled the severe persecution of Christians in Eritrea. He went on to say quietly, "People here don't know what it's like to not have freedom." When he was a much younger man, he had been educated as an accountant back in Eritrea. But since coming to America, he has worked as a cab driver. Day after day. Month after month. Year after year. He was well past his prime. As David and I were on our own adventure as a result of dreaming big together, I knew we'd been with a true hero that day. Someone who dreamed big and provided freedom for his family. And a man of honor. _____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick Peace is a priority in our home. A peaceful home refreshes and blesses the family. Today's world is busy and noisy. How can I lighten my husband's load and his heart? Help him have fun? I've learned that simple habits, like taking a day off together each week, honor him by allowing him to be refreshed. We're also intentional about family vacations. Doing so has allowed us to sustain our busy schedules. We find we can then return to the fray strengthened and with renewed enthusiasm. But sometimes, peace doesn't come without a fight. If I'm serious about "waging peace," it helps to know my enemy. You know what I have found is the quickest way to rob peace in the home? Worry. Anxiety can drain my energy and quench calm faster than just about anything. What's more, it's contagious. When the kids were small, if I became worried, they seemed to absorb my anxiety and become fretful. Worry is also exhausting. I agree with a friend who coined this acronym for W-O-R-R-Y: Worry Only Robs Rest from You. Worry says loud and clear that I don't trust God. But when I refuse to be anxious, when I trust God and remain peaceful, I create a climate of peace. I have to confess I grew up as a world-class worrier. There were times early in our marriage when fear held me in its grip. Fear of storms, fear of intruders, fear of illness, fear of flying. You name it—I probably wrestled with it. But I've learned to be ruthless. Through the promises in God's Word, lots of prayer, and putting my faith into action, I have wrestled most of my fears to the ground. I'm not completely worry-free, but I can tell you I no longer feel like a prisoner to fear. These twin invaders, fear and anxiety, can wreak havoc on a home and a marriage. God doesn't treat fear and worry as small things. He tells us to cast all your anxiety on him "because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7). He commands us to "have no fear." To "be anxious for nothing" (Philippians 4:6 NKJV). As with any stubborn problem, the first step is to confront anxiety head-on and call it out for the enemy that it is. We may find that our repentance is soon followed by times of refreshing and revival. And a peace that passes all understanding! Wage peace in the home! Don't worry! Or as I would tell my daughter Bethany as she was growing up, "It'd be better to be dead than to live in dread." I think this fight for peace honors our husbands, and makes life more fun in the process. ___________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick If you were to ask me what's the single most important thing you can do to honor your husband, I would simply say: Pray for him. Pray like you mean it. Pray like you believe God works through your prayers. And make prayer for your husband a priority. I have seen many wives' prayers encourage husbands who are already following Jesus. And I have seen prayer soften the hearts of men who have rejected God. I am mystified as to why prayer works when words fall short. I just know it does. Prayer is a weapon that can be used to usher in powerful things for your husband's life and for your life as well. Pray with confidence, knowing if you are asking for something according to his will, he hears us (1 John 5:14). My dear friend Jane prayed for years for her husband to accept Christ. He continued to resist the gospel. My friend was wise. She refused to nag. But she did set aside 15 minutes to pray for her husband every morning. I don't know how long Jane prayed for him. But, some time later, I watched in amazement as her husband walked forward to accept Christ at a Billy Graham Crusade in our city. During the invitation, I happened to glance to my right. I was startled to see this man who had stiff-armed God! There he was, wife by his side, resolutely heading to the front of the arena where he gave his life to Jesus Christ once and for all. The ripple effect of that one influential man's devotion to Christ was powerful. The impact he had on his family and community is evident to this day. All because of the quiet witness and faithful prayers of a strong wife. Like my husband always says, "If you don't love Jesus and you have a praying wife or a praying mother, look out—you're toast!" Pray consistently. Pray fervently. Pray like you mean it. Then watch as God moves in the heart of your husband and your home. __________________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick Deep within the heart of every good woman lives a warrior. Her fierce love can make even the most timid woman do courageous things. Watch out for a woman who is fighting for someone she loves. I have discovered that honoring my husband in today's culture requires me to fight for him. We have an enemy. Not just of our soul, but also of our marriage. In addition to waging a war with the devil, our battle for a strong marriage is also against our own selfish tendencies. Sometimes the best way to fight to honor our husbands is by going against the grain of our flesh. As I do this, I resist a worldly mindset that degrades and disrespects marriage. My friend Ange is from Rwanda. Gentle and soft-spoken, Ange is a shining example of a woman who honored her husband by fighting for him. Ange was in high school when the horrific Rwandan genocide broke out in 1994. She and Emanuel fled on foot. Soldiers attacked their refugee camp. Ange and Emanuel got separated as they ran for their lives. She searched frantically for him, hiding in the forest with no clean water, food, or shelter. Ange made her way to Kenya. She looked everywhere for Emanuel. Eventually she enrolled in Bible college while she continued her search. For eight years! Even her closest friends tried to persuade Ange to accept that Emanuel was dead—and to remarry. But Ange sensed the Holy Spirit was whispering to keep on fighting and to believe that Emanuel was still alive. Her lifeline became, "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame" (Romans 5:3-5). While listening to a radio program which helped find missing family members after the war, she heard the amazing news that Emanuel was alive. "It was like a dream!" she exclaimed. "I stayed up all night praising and thanking God!" After eight long years, Ange and Emanuel were finally reunited—all because of a wife who kept fighting for her husband. I can best fight for my husband and honor our marriage most powerfully by fighting my flesh and by interceding for him in prayer. Choose to do the same. The fight is worth it! ____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick "Let the wife see that she respects her husband" (Ephesians 5:33). I have been inspired by what the Bible teaches us about honor. As a result, I have tried to be more intentional about showing honor to David. However, I've come face to face with an important realization: Honor demands far more from me than simply submission. Please understand. I fully appreciate submission in marriage as part of the biblical framework of love and respect. But to truly honor my husband, I have to set the bar much higher than submission. Honor requires self-sacrifice. Humility. It challenges me to bridle not just my words, but also my thoughts. It makes me bite my tongue. Honor confronts me with my sin. It forces me to see everything that gets in the way of me giving my best. I can choose to build up my husband or to break him down. This plays out with the words I speak to him and the words I speak about him. I must use my words to encourage his leadership to flourish within our family. For example, the words I speak to our children influence what they think about their dad. Same with outsiders. Careless words can tarnish his reputation in the eyes of others. Proverbs 14:1 reminds us that a wise woman "builds her house," but a foolish one "tears it down." As wives, we sometimes forget the weight our words carry. Showing respect is vital to any healthy marriage. But when it comes to honoring our husbands, it helps to understand that no two marriages or men are exactly alike. Words and actions that make my husband feel honored and respected might go right over the head of your husband. But this truth is consistent, if I want to honor David, I have to become honorable myself. Same holds true for you. So in this way, honor conforms all of us to the image of Christ. Honor requires a strong walk with the Lord. I guess you could say that to truly honor my husband, I must give my best to cultivate a heart of honor. Honor, even more than submission, is an imposing benchmark. It's a sublimely powerful target. For if I take aim and hit the bullseye of honor, I am probably covering all the other virtues that make for a strong marriage. Honor him by giving him your best! ____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick Honor may be best expressed through word and deed, but it begins in my mind. What I think about my husband determines whether my words and actions will honor him. In fact, what we believe about our husbands can make or break our marriages. We must believe the best. For me, this means that as a wife, I value and respect David, believing in him even more than he believes in himself. I can choose how I think about my husband. Either with a lens of criticism and cynicism or with a lens of respect and honor. Do I respect him? Appreciate him? Do I focus on his strengths and downplay his weaknesses? Do I take time to reflect on the many ways he sacrifices for our family? Am I there for him to support and strengthen him, especially when he feels weak? In short, am I thankful for him? Over the years, I've noticed a common theme in the marriages I've grown to admire. The spouses seem to be intentional about interpreting each other in a positive light. The wives speak about their husbands with respect. The husbands find ways to honor their wives. It's clear they treasure and appreciate their partner. In short, they believe the best about each other, and it shows. Turns out there's some research to back up this observation. Author and longtime Gallup poll associate Marcus Buckingham surveyed thousands of married couples to discover the traits at the core of good marriages. He found something intriguing. The common thread running through happy marriages was this: In the most successful marriages, each partner rated the other person higher than that person rated him or herself. Choose to honor. Make the intentional decision to be transformed by renewing your mind (Romans 12:2). Take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5). Believe the best about your husband and watch as honor increases in your marriage. ___________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick It's important to understand honor as a biblical concept, shedding light on our God-given roles as husband and wife. In college, I was an atheist with strong feminist leanings. After I became a follower of Christ, it was God's Word which opened my eyes to His beautiful and somewhat mysterious plan for marriage. Everything God created was good. But He looked at Adam and said, "It is not good for the man to be alone." Something was missing. So God said: "I will make a helper suitable for him" (Genesis 2:18). God created woman from man—from his same substance: "So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs …Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man…" (Genesis 2:20-24). Marriage was God's gift to humanity. Eve was Adam's companion, but the Bible also calls her his helper. In Hebrew, "helper," or ezer, means "to support." It's a combination of two roots: "to rescue, to save," and "to be strong." The word ezer in the Bible most often refers to God as the helper, usually in times of danger or battle. Are you an ezer to your husband? The word ezer is also closely related to the word for rock. I honor David when I'm strong like a rock in my walk with the Lord. Strengthen your heart with the Word of God, prayer, spiritual disciplines, and biblical community. In the process, I hope you'll see that being a strong woman of God, while also submitting to your husband's spiritual leadership, go hand in hand. As wives, we respond best to our husbands' spiritual leadership when we trust God and his design for our marriage. When you grasp what it means to be an ezer, you begin to get an image of your role as a rock, not a doormat. Your challenge is to become strong so that you are a source of strength for a husband who will sometimes be weak. I've learned that an important part of showing honor to a strong husband like David is to be his "rock of support" when everything around him feels like it's crashing down. Think about what it means to be strong like a "rock" for our husbands, families, and communities. Lord knows we need more women who are willing to live strong as ezers in this hurting and broken world. ___________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by Marilynn Chadwick What is honor and why is it important? To honor someone is to treat them with admiration or respect. Honor conveys dignity, honesty, and integrity. Several years ago my husband's beloved college basketball coach, North Carolina's legendary Dean Smith, passed away. Next to his own father, David says Coach Smith was the most significant man in his life. Even superstar Michael Jordan called Coach Smith his "second father." Why? Because along with great basketball, Coach Smith taught his players about life. When I first met my basketball player-turned-preacher husband, I was a University of Georgia girl and a die-hard football fan. Basketball, not so much. But I loved David, and I grew to love basketball. Soon after we got married, Coach Smith sent me a handwritten note welcoming me to the "Carolina Family." He always remembered my alma mater and my college major. He knew our children by name. Seriously. Who does that? After Coach Smith's passing, I was able to write an editorial honoring my husband's legendary basketball coach. Responses to my article, some from well-known leaders in our community, caused me to wonder if our culture is thirsty for honor. Public reaction to Dean Smith's passing seemed to convey a nostalgic yearning for role models, for dads, for men of honor. In fact, a prominent defense attorney in our community sent me a handwritten note sharing how his own dad had been such an honorable man. A federal judge and a bank president both weighed in on the subject of honor. Young moms wrote to tell me about their "amazing husbands" and vowed to be more intentional to honor them. Had I touched a nerve? Maybe it's because honor is lacking in our homes. Families today are in trouble. Studies show that 70% of divorces are now initiated by women. Honor was God's idea in the first place—especially in marriage. No wonder we're thirsty for this sometimes-forgotten virtue. What would happen if we sparked a movement of honor in our homes, our communities, and our world? Over the next two weeks, we will explore honor from a biblical point of view; specifically addressing wives. I want to give every wife 8 practical tips on how you can begin to honor your husband and create a culture of honor in your home. My dream is that together, we really could see a movement of honor that would spill over into a hurting and broken world. ____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Husband by Marilynn Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick Remember the definition of honor: "to regard with great respect, to prize, to admire, to give special recognition, to demonstrate high respect or great esteem for someone." What a rich and powerful word! I have spent the past two weeks giving husbands tools for how they can honor their wives. We wrap up our journey today. I pray these "8 Greats" give you practical ways to interact with your wife and bring honor into your marriage. By the way, next week Marilynn will do the same with you wives: 8 Great ways to honor your husbands. We see the theme of honor interwoven throughout the Bible (Exodus 20:12, Romans 12:10, 1 Peter 3:7). It is clearly important to the heart of the Father. Let's look back on the "8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife." Trust Her Gut Be a Man of God Encourage Her Gifts Respect Her Opinion Ask This Question Often: "How is Your Heart?" Share Your Heart Be a Guardian and Gardener Use Words Wisely I believe that if you lead the way and start to put these tools into practice, you will see a culture of honor increase in your marriage and your family. Romans 12:10 says, "Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." It's the one place in the Bible where we are called to compete with one another: in giving honor! Imagine what will happen if you and your wife begin to try and outdo one another in honor. Love will increase. The home will get healthier. Jesus will be glorified. The goal of marriage is to see two very different, unique, special individuals become one. As two become one, biblical marriage becomes the most beautiful reflection of the love between Jesus Christ and the bride. Let's reclaim honor in our marriages! It is essential to accomplishing this goal of two becoming one and seeing the Gospel of Jesus displayed through our lives. _____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick Marilynn and I have coined what we call "8 Greats" for different areas of our lives that require practical, biblical wisdom. We are spending two weeks looking at 8 great ways husbands can honor their wives. Husbands, today's tool is this: use words wisely! Words are powerful. Proverbs 18:21 says "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits." Words can do damage or they can bring healing (Proverbs 12:18). In fact, Proverbs 16:24 says, "Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body." I want to see a generation of men rise up who know how to rightly use their words. To be wise voices who bring perspective and healing. Do you remember hearing the ridiculous phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"? What a lie! Words hurt. They sting. And are long remembered. Speak words of life to your beloved. Things like, "I am so honored to be your husband." Then, say this publicly before others and it will really get you brownie points. Tell her, "I am never leaving you." "Thank you for marrying me." "I am so grateful for all you do for me." If you have never said anything like this before to your bride, try it today! Take one or two of these examples I have given you and use them. Watch what happens! Where you have felt distance, there will be closeness. Where disappointments have been commonplace, hope will return. Then watch as you two become one! _________________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick Husbands, I am spending these two weeks focused on you. I want you to walk away with 8 great, practical ways to honor your wives and help your marriage be all that God wants it to be. We live in a world where marriages are falling apart. But God has given us tools to cultivate strong and lasting marriages. He wants to see healthy homes that are glorifying God together! Here is today's tool for you, husbands: Be a guardian and a gardener. You are a GUARDIAN. Called by God to protect your home from evil influences. From people to social media to television shows to movies to music, there are destructive forces in the world that want to destroy your family and defile the name of God. You must ask yourself regularly, "Does this bring glory to God the Father or does it curse his name?" If it doesn't praise Jesus and bring glory to the Father, call it out and cut it off! Lukewarm Christianity is not acceptable in God's eyes. In fact, Revelation 3:15 says, "So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." God is very serious about holiness. As the guardian of your home, husbands, build and walk your family's wall. Watch for danger. Make sure it's protected at all times. When something is not right, speak up! Fight for your family's health and safety. And give your wife the freedom to do so as well. You are also a GARDENER. Sprinkle healthy nutrients into your family's physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. Tend to the needs of each person's heart. Make sure grace is in place. Make sure love conquers all. Forgive. Ask for forgiveness. Speak words of encouragement and hope. Show a spirit of perseverance. Be the spiritual leader of your home. What does this mean? Simply initiate spiritual health and wholeness in your home. Initiate prayer. Lead the way in having your family worship together both in the home and at church. And as your wife sees you doing this, she will feel honored and you'll become one! _________________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick We are looking at 8 great ways husbands can honor their wives. I want every husband to have a large assortment of tools that he can use to strengthen closeness with his wife. Today's tool: share your heart! As you practice asking yesterday's question to your beloved, "How is your heart?" make sure you share your heart with her as well. There is nothing that a wife hates more than to feel like she is being transparent with a husband who seemingly doesn't struggle with a thing. Husbands, don't stuff your feelings. It's not good for you, it's not good for your health, it's not good for your marriage. It stifles honor! Genesis 2:18 says, "Then the Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone: I will make him a helper fit for him.'" The word here for helper is "ezer." Your wife is designed to be your helper. But she can't be that for you if you don't let her. Tell her what you need. Expect her to respond with help. You two are meant to complement each other. The Bible is full of verses that speak to the power of two and of living out the Gospel with another. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10a says, "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow." Proverbs 27:17 says, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another." James 5:16 says, "Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed." You two are stronger together than you are apart. Ask her to share her heart. Share yours. Pray for one another. Yes, even if it feels uncomfortable. Nothing is easy when you first begin, but over time you will find it much easier to share with one another and pray for each other. And the most amazing reality will occur; the two become one! _____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick I am sharing "8 Greats" for how you, husbands, can honor your wives. Each day, I am giving men a new tool for your toolbox. God wants to give you simple solutions. We know this because Jesus says in Matthew 11:30, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." If this is true, which we know it is, then we have to take him at his word. He came to set captives free (Isaiah 61:1). Here is today's tool. Ask your wife this question often: "How is your heart?" After all, the heart of the matter is a matter of the heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the springs of life." Everything flows from your heart. If your heart is broken or crushed, it will affect the rest of your life. Jesus furthers this teaching in Mark 7:20-23. He knew that what is inside a person will ultimately be what defiles them. "Evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness." Husbands, you may very well be the instrument God uses to unclog the well of your wife's heart by asking this simple question. Try to figure out what is going on in your beloved's heart. It may take some time, but remember, she is worth it. Listen to what she says. Take note. Then spend time together praying into what she shares. Pray Scripture over her that aligns with where her heart feels broken or crushed. Is coveting stuffed inside? Read Psalm 90:14. Envy? Try Proverbs 14:30. Slander? Read Proverbs 16:24. And so on and so forth. This will wash her with the water of the word (Ephesians 5:26). Asking this question, "How is your heart?" and responding with tenderness and the truths of God's word will honor your wife. It will draw you two closer together as one flesh: the goal of all marriage! ___________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick We are taking two weeks to look at 8 great ways that husbands can honor their wives. When honor is in the foundation of a marriage, God is honored. Both people thrive. And the family gets healthier. In God's original intent for marriage, a husband and wife become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). A reflection of his nature and character occurs. A demonstration of the love Jesus has for the church - his bride. Because a husband and wife are one flesh, God often uses a wife to speak into his will for the husband. A wife's insights are to be heard and cherished. The tool for today: respect her opinion. Wives need to be heard, honored, and respected. A wife's voice should be valued and prized. She, too, is made in the image of God and carries perspectives of his heart. You, as a husband, are called in Ephesians 5:25-27 to love your wife. To give yourself up for her. To cleanse her by giving her a consistent depiction of Jesus. I once told my wife Marilynn, "I'd be wiling to die for you." She quickly responded, "That's great! Just make sure you also are willing to live for me as well." Great point! Husbands should listen to what their wives have to say and consider their suggestions. This will help her feel loved. There are many different ways to say, "I love you" to your wife with more than mere words. Sometimes it's through loving touch. Other times by listening to her heart and dreams. It's by building memories and having fun together. And, at times, it's by respecting her opinion. Choose to seek out her opinion and respect it. Value it. Cherish it. Ask her for it. On matters great and small. If what she is suggesting aligns with what is the obvious right thing to do, do it. This is a great way to increase closeness, intimacy and oneness. _______________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick I want to see biblical manhood reflected in the church. I want husbands to know how to honor their wives, creating strong marriages. I want to see strong, healthy families who love the Lord with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength. I believe a strong family starts with a strong marriage. And a strong marriage starts with humble men who know how to honor their wives. We are looking at 8 great ways for husbands to develop a culture of honor with their wives. Here is the next tool: encourage her gifts! Your wife has a call from God that he has given her to accomplish (Ephesians 2:10). There is a call from God inside of her that only she can do. It is different from yours. Help her find out what that work is. Then, help her do it. Study her. Watch what she loves to do. Ask her what she loves to do. Maybe start with some simple questions like, "What brings you life?" or "What sucks the life out of you?" Then take some time to dream with her. See what God has put inside of her. And then help her accomplish it. For example, my wife Marilynn loves to learn. I have always known that. So, when she approaches me with opportunities for further learning and study, I want to do whatever I can to support her in making that happen! In the 1980s, I watched her earn a Masters in Counseling from a local university. Within the last year, she received a Master's in Christian Practice from Duke University – and, yes, summa cum laude in both degrees (I'm bragging, but so proud!). I have also loved seeing her use these gifts in teaching, which is her primary passion. Husbands, as you set your wife up to win and encourage the flourishing of her gifts, it helps you become closer and closer. And yet another tool to foster honor and for two to become one! _____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick A toolbox packed full of different tools gives someone the confidence to step into a variety of situations and bring a solution. If you only have a "hammer" and you find a situation that needs a "screwdriver," you will not get very far. Over the next two weeks, we are exploring 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. I want to give you, husbands, tools to strengthen your marriage. My prayer is that God strengthens your marriage as you put these "8 Greats" into practice in your home. Today's tool: be a man of God! This is an absolute must for all husbands. You are to be an earthly example of Jesus to your bride. True biblical manhood is a blend of tough and tender. In the Bible, David is referred to as a man after God's own heart. A humble worshiper and a valiant warrior. A beloved shepherd and a giant slayer. As you strengthen your relationship with Jesus, growing in your biblical manhood, your wife will trust you more and more. Your daily pursuit of God will bring honor to her. She will want to honor you as you honor Jesus. In turn, your marriage will bring honor to the Lord. When a husband's faith is lived out in the home as a humble worshiper, a forgiven forgiver, and a strong leader with bridled power (Galatians 5:25), the wife will experience the blessing of his pursuit of Jesus. A wife can easily appreciate and honor a husband who lives under the control of the Holy Spirit, who crucifies the lusts of the flesh, who is self-controlled, and who lives a disciplined life. This is also so important in seeing a man and a woman become one. ____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

by David Chadwick I want to teach you principles for developing biblical love and honor within a marriage. I love pithy statements that help to easily remember things. Marilynn and I have found the term "8 Great" to be a very easy way to remember Godly principles for different areas of life. Over the next two weeks, I want to share 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife. Each day, I am going to give you, husbands, a new tool that you can put in your tool belt. Different situations require different tools and my prayer is that you will become more equipped to lead and love your wife with HONOR. Here is the first tool: trust her gut! It's almost as if wives have been given an early warning radar system by God. They can sense danger for their husbands from a mile away. Genesis 2:24 says, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." As two become one, a wife's heart increasingly feels for her husband's heart. And wants his heart to be completely protected. I have so many examples of times I can look back on and see that Marilynn was exactly correct in her intuitions about certain situations and people. If I had listened to her more carefully, I could have avoided some pain. My Marilynn's prayer walk is deep and rich. I can trust she is hearing God's voice (John 10:27). And like God, I know she is FOR me (Romans 8:31). Husbands, listen to your wife. Honor her warnings. It will greatly aid in you both becoming one. __________________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!

Honor. Such a powerful word. To honor is defined as this: "to regard with great respect, to prize, to admire, to give special recognition, to demonstrate high respect or great esteem for someone." In historical biblical culture, the word "honor" carried tremendous weight. Even today, there are cultures around the world that place a high value on honor. In God's original intent, honor is a tool to bestow on one another, to bless, to prefer someone else over ourselves. Unfortunately, in the modern American Christian culture, people seem to gravitate to one of two extremes regarding honor. It's either overused or missing in action, not used at all. Neither extreme is biblical. Biblical honor does not demand artificial respect to cover up someone's deeper insecurities or evil agendas. Biblical honor does, however, create an atmosphere of respect, rooted in the Word of God, where leadership is revered and everyone can flourish. From the call to honor parents in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:12) to Paul's desire that all Christians honor one another (Romans 12:10) to husbands commanded by Peter to honor their wives (1 Peter 3:7), honor is interwoven throughout all of Scripture. For the next two weeks, we are going to look specifically at how husbands can and should honor their wives. If you are single, take notes and begin to train your mind and your heart, even now, with things that could bless a future marriage. If you are married, start to put these principles into practice in your daily lives. The goal is for two to become one (Genesis 2:24). And honor is a great tool God has put in the hands of husbands to help this take place. _____________ This series is adapted from the book, 8 Great Ways to Honor Your Wife by David Chadwick. To download your free PDF copy of this book, please visit our website by clicking here!