55: [Self-Help] The Pursuit of Perfect - Tal Ben Shahar | Do you need to be constantly dissatisfied in order to feed your ambition?

1. 2 sides of Perfectionism

a.Cons -Very deep fear of failure -Never being satisfied

b.Pros -Doing the best we can

2. As ambitious people, we believe that:

a.Until I accomplish a certain goal - I can't be happy

b.In order to be successful I need to be constantly dissatisfied until I accomplish the goal

3. So, Is it possible to be hungry and satisfied at the same time?

a.YES! Thats the mark of a great intelligence - being able to hold 2 opposing ideas in your mind at the same time

4. Is your Life an Odyssey or a Sisyphean Battle

a.Odyssey = Life is an adventure

-There are wins and losses -But you enjoy the journey

b.Sisyphean Battle -Feeling like you are Never winning

-Trying to roll a boulder up a mountain - goes on forever

5. As ambitious people - we tend to be harsh towards ourselves

a.But Self compassion is even more important than self esteem

b.You Treat yourself like you would treat someone you love dearly

c.The constant question: If I let up on myself …. How will I drive myself?

d.Ask yourself: What is the real motivation behind me wanting to do what I want to do?

-Dig for the intrinsic motivations

6. You will not always be happy

a.Accept your negative emotions b.Give yourself the permission to be human

7. Quotes:

a.When you appreciate the good in your life, the good appreciates

b.In life we must Learn to fail or fail to learn

8. Action Items:

a.Gratitude Journal

-Write down 3 things you are grateful for

b.If you were completely anonymous - what would you be doing?